Tales of the Urban Explorer: Chainsaw Lodge
“We are going to have to park here, right outside the gates”, I said to @anidiotexplores.
It wasn't as though we had an option. Chainsaw Lodge was in the middle of nowhere, and if Jason from Friday the 13th was going to make an appearance we would both be doomed.
There was nobody around for miles, and that means nosey cunts. We left the car, hopped over the threatening sign, and started walking…
"No fly-tipping?"
What do I see.., chairs, sofas, a wardrobe only 20 feet from the sign. Someone got away with a hefty fine. If you throw your shit away 200 yards up the road there are no threatening signs, but they leave it here?
Unperturbed we walked what used to be a path in search of anything not green.
It didn’t take long, but getting to it may cause a few scratches, such was the depth of that undergrowth. This is why I never wear shorts when exploring, even when it's hot.
I had not been primed about the chainsaw, it sat there outside the portable home threatening to come alive and hack us down.
Ignoring it, we moved inside and gasped.
“Someone has a thing for rusty pilchards”, was my immediate thought.
They could have used that abandoned wardrobe for their clothes; the second thought.
If you are going to live here, it's not exactly ideal to have all your kit on show to visitors, and revealing your feline dietary habits may cause others to think you were a cat before your current incarnation.
I was intrigued to learn about this obsessive ex-cat pilchard devourer and noticing the clothes looked male, assumed it was a bloke.
..he liked music, the music system was old and sported duel-tapes. Why would you buy one of those unless you wanted to rip music?
..the owner wore ladies' watches.
..excelled at stacking specific types of tinned food.
.. and had a makeshift studio in a separate room. The photography kit was damaged but still intact. I was surprised some twat had not nicked it.
.. it’s got to be a bloke surely?
Mr. Maddison. I would have looked at his account except the letter was so wet it started to dissolve in my hands.
He had left all these belongings behind and not even closed the front door. It's been a while since I saw After Eight mints in a tin box.
Not content with a single jar of sugar, he needed two. I wonder if he was partial to sugared pilchards?
I have to guess Mr. Maddison left some time ago looking at the level of decay.
My attention kept on returning to the Pilchards. Some of them were stacked in plastic and yet rusting away inside.
It does look like Grandad-ware. I’m kind of old but wouldn’t aspire to wear this style of clothing.
His taste in music is fucking awful, Mantovani, Scripture songs?
… and slides, it’s all so 70’s and 80’s.
The suitcases tell me Mr. Maddison was already to pack some of his trendy clothes and leave but was disturbed before he had finished?
Was it the chainsaw and a maniac had entered, chased him away, and then abandoned the lethal weapon?
Despite being possibly an old dude, he wanted to keep up with the times.
Wearing his thermals Mr. Maddison struggled to remember how to use File Manager and needed some reminding. Was that even Windows 95, or older?
The law says you need £138.10 to live on. One needs to obey the law and pay tax on that excess of £7.75.
We left the Chainsaw House and wondered if anything else in this seemingly abandoned caravan park could possibly live up to that?
We found another caravan, this one accessible and welcoming with its doors wide open.
Modern caravans have switches for everything, even the TV.
A few odd clothes left but no more chainsaws, dead bodies, or blood.
Other mobile homes, we could not access such was the density of the local flora.
Eventually we found what looked like a garden centre. The old dears needed to tend their gardens, it made sense.
The only plants available now are the ones growing all over it, and they are free.
It could be the counter where you pay for your goods?
The state pension in the UK is hardly generous. If you don't have a private one, then this is all you get. The recipients name had been torn off.
This was an entertaining romp through an ex-mobile home lodge I am guessing. I wanted all the homes to be as good as the pilchard eater but it wasn't to be.
We left with other venues in mind.
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Trying to figure out where the word "Bloke" came from.. "Mate" or "Matey" is easy, English or Australian guys trying to get into each others pants.. but Block is a tough one. 🤣
It's another very British word. You will be able to watch UK Soaps (and understand the lingo) after 10 years of reading my posts. Its all educational.
Yes I might even develop an accent. Cherrio
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The vegetation looked great. Not the abandoned house tho…
What's fly tipping? Never even heard that term before.
With the camera and all of that canned fish, a person could make quite the movie. Plenty of music to choose from as well for the soundtrack.
It might be a British term. Dumping your crap in public places, and that includes large items such as white goods. We have public tips but not everyone can be bothered to load up their cars to dispose of their old crap.
Okay I see. Makes sense. Yeah, people dumping their crap in the woods and shit seems like a universal human quality. Not everyone does it of course but every country has people who are like that. Its unfortunate.
What would you hodl pre-crypto ? Pilchards is the obvious answer
It could be they made a mistake and 100x'd the online order and then couldn't abide throwing them all away. No fly tipping you see 😃
Yep - that'll be it !
The people doing V2K want me to believe it is this lady @battleaxe Investigate what she has been up to for 5 years. Its the next step to stopping this. Make her prove where she has been for 5 years or where she is now. She is involved deeply with @fystikken and his group. I cant say she is the one directly doing the v2k. Make her prove it. They have tried to kill me and are still trying to kill me. I bet nobody does anything at all. Make @battleaxe prove it. I bet she wont. They want me to believe the v2k in me is being broadcasted from her location. @battleaxe what is your location? https://ecency.com/fyrstikken/@fairandbalanced/i-am-the-only-motherfucker-on-the-internet-pointing-to-a-direct-source-for-voice-to-skull-electronic-terrorism
Cor blimey did you post this at midnight
So many tins of fish, there had to be a cat involved surely. Unless toast and Pilchards was his sole diet. In which case he was probably carted off in an ambulance. The after eight tin, oh the memories. We always had one or two kicking about when I was younger!
I saw no bread, perhaps it was a straight Pichards diet? Is there a term for that type, tinned fish and nothing else.. an Atkins variant?
Lol, an atkins variant indeed!!
Maybe he got a good deal on the pilchards. Bit of a boring diet unless you're a penguin. Some fun stuff in there. I like a bit of retro technology.
It was unexpected, what we saw in that first mobile-home. I have to give credit to @grindle for sharing this location.., but not what to expect.
Nice of him to share.
Oh man, Aiwa. I totally forgot about that brand. Are they still even around? I remember they made some of the biggest all in one units when I was younger. Huge speakers next to a multi purpose head unit. Crazy stuff. This looks like it was a really great explore for you. Tons of artifacts even though it was all a bit messy.
Yeah I remember Aiwa, but never owned anything by them. This was a great explore, lots to look at.
I never owned one of the units either.
Good they had quite a lot of interesting things in that house
Nicely done!!
kwik save less than solid can stacking!!
Mort would not be best pleased
One good thing about Kwiksave is that you didn't have to take the stuff out of boxes. The flip side was the 'racking-down'.
Utterly useless fact of the day: Did you know that 'racking-down' was named 'cardboarding' at rival supermarket.. Asda.
racking down, god I forgotten that term!
happy days
Truly weird that I refreshed your page last night and this post wasn't there. It has been a tad glitchy on here in the last few.
I couldn't believe that first place showed off. Sweet Jesus! What ig God's sake did the guy (I hope it was a guy!) do with all that fish? Most of our sardines come in smallish tins, much like tuna fish. I can remember my great grandparents and grands always having canned fish in the cupboards. They said it was a throwback from the depression era and how they would always have protein for the leaner days. I think they probably just liked the taste of it and shared it with the cat.
That was so cool to find so many left behind items to paw through. I can't believe anyone would leave a phone book! Seriously. Did you try to get hold of Tracey? I saw tsunami written on the bottom of the page in that address book, was he trying to tell us something? I have never seen the After Eight mints in a tin, maybe we never got the tin here.
The clothes, the camera, recording equipment! This was a real find, although it was in poor shape, it was really a little goldmine. I cannot believe someone dumped their stuff out right at the sign, sort of like thumbing their nose at it. People can be such pigs. How would they like it dumped in their backyard? The others were, as you said, nothing much, but, the garden center was. Was this a busy area at one time? Seems it must have been with a counter to check out. I was happy to see you had a great find with plenty to look at.
Still.... those pilchards!
This was a strange one! I am not sure why Tsunami is so relevant, its on both the top and bottom of that page. There have been multiple ones so I could not place a date on it.
Did you notice 'Mole Catcher' in that address book? Hehe.. made me laugh.
I noticed the "Mole Catcher" also! I suppose that must have been a real issue... or some sort of code. Like, if they had a mole in their organisation and required someone to catch said mole...
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Whooot, another great post that kicks my @ass to move it outside to search a few more URBEX
Thanks and a !BEER for you
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BEER."They could have used that abandoned wardrobe for their clothes; the second thought."
This made me laugh out loud. You are hilarious!
I think I listen to too many thriller audiobooks (well, I know for sure that I do) because my first thought when I see clothing, recording equipment, a bed, slides... is that Someone was up to No Good. Then, all those kids' toys? That made it so much creepier. I might have called the police.
However, I should add that I have literally listened to at least 30 crime-related audiobooks since January 1. (I only keep track of the ones from the library, and if I don't finish the book, I don't count it.) This makes the number of book reviews I do seem quite restrained, doesn't it? Ha ha.
Great post, as usual. It blows me away how much effort you put into each post. You pretty much take your life into your hands for our amusement. I imagine you would not do it if you did not like it also, but I see some of the photos and literally say out loud, "Oh, no, @slobberchops! What have you gotten yourself into this time?"
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I might have called the police.
The police?,, oh no.. they would interfere and ask questions. It would take me discovering a corpse for that. It might well happen!
Oh its not that bad (says me, climbing up a tree to get over a 12 foot wall, and then shimmying down a rope on the far side.. very recently). Some of them I can't manage as I'm too old!
I got a new phone so the posts you see in around 7 months may look better. Yes, I'm that far behind!
Thanks for the great comment.
OMG. I wonder what happened to him. This sort of thing makes me think of all our worldly possessions that we care so much about, but will be left behind in the end for others to have, or rut/rust away. These days I try to disconnect emotionally from material items. A phone is a phone. A sofa is a sofa. I'm having problems disconnecting from some T-shirts I've had for 25 years haha, but everyone has a vice.
His taste in music suggest he might have been an Evangelical Christian. Some of those are "gospel" albums I think.
I love pilchards! They were a staple for me while getting through university. Pilchards and sardines! haha. Happy days.