3 Paces inside The Door
She stopped dead in her tracks the moment her eyes landed on him. She almost grew roots to the spot seeing the glow all around him that was its own light source. He didn’t see her. She had seconds to decide……go forward, or turn and walk out the door. Direct eye contact would render reverse impossible.
Who was this creature? she thought, sharply sucking in a breath….”He’s here!”. She did not recognize the form he wore, but she recognized something. Approaching the old hardwood tableau, she locked eyes with him. His image burned into her mind. His eyes seared her soul.
She made her request. He listened intently, and then paused slightly. Fear and an odd sense of awe encapsulated her tightly while she waited. Finally, he addressed what she’d inquired about and offered suggestions. She selected her choice and left, transaction complete. Swaying slightly with dizziness, she continued on her way, reeling as if she’d just stepped in and out of another world and couldn’t quite get her balance.
Several years roll past in a foggy haze. Her life is tied up in too many knots and it takes time to unravel them all. Out of the clearing mists, like a dragon arising from slumber, he breathes fire into her life. She knew she’d see him again. She never forgot him.
He wrapped her in his cruel talons and swept her away, far away to a mystical world she’d never seen before. Enormous wings beat the air and she felt herself spinning out of time. He was all she knew. She was all he knew. They became one again, as they had in other lifelines. Nothing was more natural.
While he kept her in his company, he taught her and trained her in many secret ways. Sometimes, the lessons were excruciating and broke her open again and again. He waited patiently for her to heal and begin anew. Forge tempering her with trials by fire, unconditional loving acceptance, and a clear guiding light as fit each moment. He became whatever she needed, without her awareness, so that she could learn and grow. He had promised her this in their last life time together. It was an agreement made in order to balance his betrayals.
Gradually, she grew and stepped out further with more confidence in her footfalls. She lost all interest in the world and went deep within seeking. Walking blind, feeling her way, not knowing how to step in complete darkness. He waited and watched.
After fumbling for months, she walked to the edge of a precipice she wasn’t even aware was there. He stood back while she crept closer to the edge. For a long time she stood there, on pause, warring with herself.
Could she? What would happen? What was left to hold on to? Nothing left to hold on to. What was holding her back? Fear. Inability to let go of the last thing she wanted to have control over. She had to have some sense of control in life. She resisted. Time stood still. Still she resisted. No movement and she stood in absolute darkness. “Where is the path?” she thought.
Stepping up to the edge, she made the choice to let it all go. She stepped off the edge. As she was falling, an intense light lit up the darkness as she was caught in the loving warmth of arms she’d never experienced before. Straight up out of the chasm of the dark void she shot and flew on light.
Walking in the door, she said, “Where have you been all this time?”
I’ve been right here waiting for you to see me.
“I have searched everywhere for you. I’ve been so lost and hungry for you,” she said.
You were looking outside of you in all the wrong places to feast. You’re home now. Come into my embrace. We will be together for infinity.
She relaxed into the loving embrace of her Before All Else and rested peacefully, her long journey completed.
A fictional story.
All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera and 90mm Tamron macro lens.