Punday Monday 304!

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Welcome to Punday Monday!

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Jury Duty!
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 2 HSBI for a win), your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

A TON of good ones this week, and indeed, some lovely shaggy dog stories, but I can’t deny the allure of…

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

@freecompliments!

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Jury Duty
As in
Jurors always wind up in California by the end of the trial. That’s where the truth must be. After all, they’re ordered to Seek Wester.

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

Related Content:

  • @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
  • https://bit.ly/improvonpopin to join me on a gaming app where I host funny trivia on Sunday nights, and Spades, Hearts, and Liar’s dice on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
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13 comments
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Why did the judge dismiss the snail from jury duty?

Because he was just too sluggish.

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After passing the bar, there is an exam that all legal practitioners fear, the MBTI. The legend has it that someone got a ENFP and he was immediately stripped off his license with the reasoning "unfit to judge, not judging enough"

@rayius

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I drove my Honda in to the city every day that one week when I was a juror...it was my civic duty, after all.

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After a long day at a complex case, all of the members on jury duty went out to a bar to relax together. The next morning, they were all found on the floor unconscious and hard to arouse. Only one member managed to wake up and make it to the courtroom. The judge in the case was angered by their collective absence, and asked exactly him what happened to cause such insubordination. Still woozy and not fully comprehending the gravity of the situation around him, he mumbled, "Your Highness, none of us can remember; the jury is still out."

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Due to the ever-increasing federal budget, the government decided to levy and increase the taxes upon the meager earnings provided for jurors. This new tax was called a jury duty.

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A bunch of bacteria, viruses, and fungi were called in to deliberate upon a germ that was accused of revealing their plan to take over their host. They came to the conclusion that he was guilty within a single day. it was a perfect example of highly effective germy duty.

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A jury was called to determine the verdict of a rape case, with the only known evidence being based on the alleged size of the rapist's penis. After much deliberation, they were unable to collectively come to a conclusion. Ultimately, a retrial was required because of a hung jury.

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Howard, a newly minted lawyer who did not have a penny to his name, came to his first case with an old, profanity-riddled T-shirt. The judge happened to be a stickler for tradition, and told Howard that he failed to carry out his duty as a respectful member of the legal system. He dismissed Howard, and asked him to come back properly dressed with a civil suit.

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A group of dwarves who committed a large robbery were found individually suitable for trial by a grand jury. A few months later, each dwarf was found guilty by a petit jury.

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After a couple of people tripped and broke their ankles on a dock, the dock was arrested. After its initial indictment, the judge told the dock, "You have a right to trial by a jury of your piers."

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