Sleepless night and many negative thoughts
Hello my dear friends! I don't like to complain. I am a closed person and I do not like to share problems too much. But now the anxiety is holding me by the throat with steel fingers and I will simply suffocate if I do not share it.
Once my mother said: "Before the war, many boys are born." "Why" - asked the little me. "Because people live in great stress."
Then I did not understand the connection. Mainly I did not understand the connection between the huge tension and the war that had not yet begun. But now I understand...
The specter of war has haunted us lately. War oozes from everywhere. And although formally it has been going on in my country since 2014, it is somewhere in the east. We live a normal life here as much as possible.
This has been the case for the last eight years. But now we are being told how to assemble an alarm case, territorial defense exercises are being carried out, the inscriptions "bomb shelter" are being updated, and a neighboring country has accumulated huge troops on our border. And all of a sudden it became a reality. In the news feed, the tension is such that it seems you can cut it with a knife. It is physically tangible. Paradoxical as it may seem, but the thought that calms me a little is: "Everyone lies. And even more so during the war".
I've been holding on all this time. I comforted myself. I made a small supply of food for my animals. I will not run away because I will never agree to leave my animals and I will not be able to go anywhere with so many of them. But I was calm. But my peace of mind collapsed just because of one sentence. "Looks like it's about to start. A feeling of powerlessness, hatred and horror,” wrote my friend. These words of her knocked me out of a more or less stable state. Anxiety gripped my throat and has not let go until now.
I am not afraid for myself. I have had an interesting and eventful life. But I imagine with horror what will happen to my animals if something happens to me. What will happen to the huge number of animals that will be abandoned by people fleeing the war.
I post here my spring photos. I really want spring and flowers. I want to watch how nature wakes up, how birds and animals have offspring, how life is reborn according to the eternal unshakable cycle.
Perhaps this is all too chaotic. But this is what thousands of people in my country think today. I really hope that the politicians have enough mind and strength to keep the situation under control. In the meantime, I continue to live, continue to do what I must and hope that every next day will be peaceful.