My Sister is Getting Married

My sister is getting married and I am sad ... although it is for a reason that one probably wouldn't expect.

My sister and I have never had an overly pleasant relationship. Currently, we are not in contact... It was a decision I came to on my own after she had decided to blame everything on me for the umpteenth time. (This time, it was the fact that I smoke marijuana, despite the fact we're both grown adults and I've never smoked around her).

Prior to this happening, there really wasn't much to report. She stopped coming to family dinners with us. Wishing her a merry Christmas was met with an unenthusiastic response. She moved out to England without really letting me know; we never said goodbye, in person or otherwise. By the time it came around to her birthday, and my messages no longer elicited a response from her, I had simply had enough.

Again, does the fact that I smoke weed warrant such petty treatment? I don't think it's justified.

So, I Blocked her on all social media. That was probably almost a year ago now -- a year that she has lived in England with her then-online boyfriend.

Of course, now THAT is about to change as well!

About a month or so ago, my dad let me know that my sister became engaged! I tried being as supportive as possible, "I hope everything goes smoothly," etc. He said they were planning a wedding for this spring, possibly April or May, but that he would be unable to attend.

Yesterday, I received a message from a mutual high school friend of mine and my sister's. She was closer to my sister than me, but we still message once in awhile. Same as my dad, she let me know that she had been invited, but couldn't make it. It's too expensive.

After hearing our friend's response, my heart began breaking... My sister is getting married, in a foreign country that she has only lived in for a year, and she won't even have her loved ones there to celebrate with her... It would be one thing if family wasn't close, but my sister was living with my dad for over 25 years; he has been her biggest supporter. And he isn't going to attend...

Not just our dad -- my sister hasn't been in contact with our mom, grandmas, aunts and uncles, or cousins since we were young. My sister no longer has blood family.

It breaks my heart to see the outcome of my sister's self-sabotage... My sister and I used to have our moments, made memories when we were kids. She was the only one that I could be my truly authentically weird self with. I couldn't be like that with anyone else...

But, instead of recognizing how precious and valuable such a rare relationship was, she decided to give into jealousy every time: jealous of how our parents saw me, of my grades, my friends, my looks, my skills, my weight, my life, and finally my ability to conceive children. She WAS an aunt to my two young daughters -- she only saw my eldest daughter 3×. She never met our youngest...

I wish she would have been apart of her nieces' lives, but I also recognize that it could be too hard for her... After all, I don't get to dictate my sister's emotions. Or, perhaps she honestly is happier this way, and has made lots of rewarding friendships. Regardless, I hope she is happy. I pray that her husband will be a good man to her, and she a good wife. May they have many years of joy and peace together -- please God, Amen 🙏