The COMedy rumble: Where the sugar daddies at?

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Life is such a dick sometimes, so hard and stupid.
How do these people traveling around the world, swimming in private islands, trying exotic foods and just enjoying life do it!
It can’t be just me that feels like the end is near and yet I haven’t had the chance to fuck life over. To travel, swim in private islands and also try exotic foods.

And there goes the line “oh Winifred you have to work for it” etc etc. I’m trying okay!
I’ve done all the legitimate things I can put my hand and knowledge to and although it’s prolific but not enough to do what I want, how I want and when I want it.

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I finally thought of another way. A sugar daddy, that wants no sugar. XD
As hilarious as that sounds I thought it was possible because we all know there are filthy rich people that don’t even know what to do with their money anymore and they keep on making more. So what’s the harm in looking for those type of people and helping them spend just a teeny tiny bit of their overflowing money.

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I started my quest on finding a sugar daddy that wants no sugar around my second year in uni.
I had no idea where to start so I just decided on social media. I mean I’ve seen men on Instagram that randomly offers girls thousands and millions just for being pretty.
So I thought to myself, I could do that.
I built my Instagram page at that time and I got some money alright but they were just for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Like no that wasn’t the plan, I needed hundreds of thousands not tens.
Anyway I still had a little hope and stayed on the Instagram hustle for a little while until I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

This one was on Snapchat, where they breed men of different caliber with guts bigger than the moon.
I got a message from a stranger and I decided to check his profile first before even opening the text. He looked well adjusted, wealthy and handsome too. So that encouraged me to open the message, and he simply said “Good morning beautiful, Just know I can take care of you”.

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I thanked God for bringing a ticket for my trip to private islands at the tip of my fingers. Literally.
We talked and talked, got to know each other and eventually he started getting friendly, too too friendly.
Like sending nude pictures to me at random.

Yes I was looking for a sugar daddy but I can’t stress this enough, minus the sugar!
I playfully confronted him just so I don’t chase my potential sugar daddy away.
Then he surprised me.

He stopped sending the pics and offered to change my phone instead.

That time it was the iPhone 11 series that was trending and he promised to gift me one.
Then next day he sent me a video of him at the mall and afterwards I got another video of a brand new iPhone 11 pro on his palms with the caption “for you”.

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I casually thanked him because it was his apology for sexting me without my consent.

I sent my school address to him and he promised to send it out the next day. I waited for two days and got nothing, meanwhile the entire time we were still chatting casually.
I chipped it in the third day that I was yet to receive anything and he was shocked, saying he had sent it out already.

After a mini misunderstanding, he promised to go to the waybill company to lay a complain and know what’s going on.
Common now, I am Nigerian and I know better. I was already suspicious that he was a scammer and I was just waiting patiently for when he’ll ask for some money to settle whatever.

He finally replied and was certain I would receive the package the next day unfailingly.
I shrugged.

That night, he started with the pee pee pics again and urged me to send mine. I politely refused but he kept on budging, already beyond irritated I switched off my phone.
The next day I ignored him completely till he apologized and informed me that the phone was about to be sent out but I need to pay the courier company because his bank wasn’t working and as soon as it works again he’ll refund me.

Of course I refused (already suspecting he’s a fraud) and said I’ll wait till it works so he’ll settle everything from his side.

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A few days later he complained again about his bank and asked me to send him some money.
And there ladies and gentlemen was the caught. That was how I confirmed my suspicion, he was in fact a scammer.

I remained calm and decided to play him at his own game.

I told him all my money were in my savings account which I can’t touch only for emergencies. He urged that it was an emergency and I should go to the bank to withdraw the money as he’ll refund me as soon as possible.

My gosh the audacity!

The next day I had a lecture so after that I branched the nearest bank and made a video while inside and sent it to him. I asked for his account details and a few minutes later I told him I had sent 50,000 Naira to him with a picture of a fake bank slip.

He thanked me and I simply waited for the frustration he would later display.

Well we didn’t chat for a week until I realized he had blocked me on Snapchat and that was the end of our little lovely relationship. After a few other related situations on my sugar daddy quest, either they all wanted some sugar or were scammers so I gave up.

Currently, Hive is my only sugar daddy that doesn’t ask for some sugar so I’ll count my blessings till I can afford my vacay.

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Inviting @attentionneeded to come bless us with your sense of humor 😆 and @amirtheawesome1 i know you’re an admin, but just because I know very few funny Hivers ;)

The contest is open to everyone, click this link for the rules to participate!

all memes were created using this source



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32 comments
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Iyé iyé.... My eye dey pain me abi wentin be this 😂

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This your WhatsApp sticker again 🤣
Showcase your comedy side na wetin e be

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How do these people traveling around the world, swimming in private islands, trying exotic foods and just enjoying life do it!

Not all is as it seems to be though and not everyone is as happy as they claim to be on social media. One interesting thing about the space — you only show people what you want them to see.

I'd say better not let the whole charade bug you though.

Side Note: I recently watched a documentary on YouTube titled "the sick things Instagram models do in Dubai". LoL, it explains a lot about all those so called luxurious and happy lifestyles...


And sugar daddy huh?🤣. I feel sad for all those "Hi/Hey/Sup beautiful Dm fellas!

Also, great job scamming the scammer! I can't even begin to fathom how enraged he must've after receiving the fake slip😂


just because I know very few funny Hivers ;)

I feel attacked. What am I? Chopped liver?

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Oh no don't bring up the Dubai parade, I'm trying to forget that shit ever happened.
And sure I won’t let the charade bug me but I wanna taste that life too, yolo right?

Also, great job scamming the scammer! I can't even begin to fathom how enraged he must've after receiving the fake slip😂

He just quietly blocked me 🤣

I feel attacked. What am I? Chopped liver?

How could I forget you and your black widow legendary video 😂 you’re added to the funny list now my King.

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True tho... Yolo🥳

you’re added to the funny list now my King.

Ouu... I like the sound of that. Say it one more time 😅

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In Scarlet Johansson's voice.. you are added to the funny list now, my King.

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Ahh yes...😩 Oh yes!

Thank you
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(Edited)

You and I seem to get the same exact type of DMs. Girls always want to spend their money on me, I am like "nah, I love being broke and not knowing whether I will have enough for rent next month"

Also, thanks for the nomination. I should probably make an entry.

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At least it beats the Hi/Hey/Hello guys 😂
You're welcome hehe, anticipating your legendary entry!

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Hahahahahahah what an experience…these days then no dey see sugar daddy wey no want sugar o except na your papa or uncle or brother…. Even my
Own sugar daddy (husband) wants sugar everyday 😭😭😭😭😭

But wait First let’s address this

Life is such a dick sometimes, so hard and stupid.

Haaa dick is stupid?? I did not know o🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Lmao one day one day I go find am, no be me again? 😂

Haaa dick is stupid?? I did not know o🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The owner o.. the owner 😂

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Scammers will try anything, good thing JW you were onto hi, The no sugar though that is funny🤣🤣🤣

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(Edited)

🤣🤣🤣🤣 He hasn't perfected his skill very well.

I don't think one would actually see a sugar daddy without getting more sugar unless it's grace 😁😁😁
Thank God you didn't fall for his scheme.

And yes, I would say Hive is my sugar daddy at the moment 😎😎

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Sugar daddy palava, those sugar doesn't come for free even though he was real. Those scammers are everywhere trying to take advantage of people, he was shooting his shot while you're shooting yours as well but you both missed 🤣.

You eventually found a sugar day doesn't demand for nude.

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You get the point 🤣 who is now the sugar daddy between us!

You eventually found a sugar day doesn't demand for nude.

In any way shape or form I must.

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Lmao 😀😀😀 you scammed the scammer. I have met a few of these guys. It's crazy the length they can go to convince you that they are crazy about you. One I met claimed he was a single father. He introduced me to his daughter and his mother and I got talking with them on phone until one morning, the daughter called me that her grandmother was shot and needed money for urgent treatment. In my mind I was like why don't you call your father. I don't want to tell you the long story here but I found out it was all a scam but how he involved a little girl in it was what made me mad.

Nicely played.

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