Discovering myself

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(Edited)

Hi to all Ladies of Hive members!

I'm kinda new here. It's my first post on this community.

I'm happy to find out that there is a communitiy where we women may be heard and appreciated publishing here! So I'm going to share a story of mine where a confused adolescent bloomed into a cherful and confident young woman.
I hope this shared experience may help the women who have issues about descovering and embrancing their inner woman.

Let's start with a little story : since I was a toddler, I was between two worlds : femine body - masculine activities and hobbies. questioning my feminine living side presence in myself.

During my childhood, I was playing all day football with my neighbourhood friends : all boys, no exception! Also, there where endless days when we were climbing trees, asking water to everyone on the street, stealing cherries from neighbours' trees. It was such a wonderful and carefree life, when I didn't care about my dirty clothes, (but my mom did =)))))), IF and WHAT I ate that day.
I WAS SO HAPPY AND ME! LIFE WAS FLOWING IN MY VEINS SO GENTLY! Even though I sometimes felt rejection from my boys' team play. 'Cause I was a girl and they were boys. How much I hated that!

A sample of me - I was about 5 years :
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Years passed and I finally became a teenager : an angry and lonely one. I was angry on anyone but wanting be proud and respected! (I laugh so much remembering myself from then)
The separation went further : my woman's body and heart started its processes while me, I didn't know why I didn't fit boys' expectations. I wanted a tender and warm connection with one, but the war living inside me rejected almost all of them.
During teenhood, I had just femele friends. They were great pals, but I still felt so lonely...Boys were just comrades.
I felt like a restless warrior who wanted deeply find peace with its being. In highschool the head teacher called me "A causeless rebel". Kinda good for my mood :

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Years passed and I've found finally some sort of peace : through caring on some of my inner wounds and body acceptance I no longer hate my feminine side. I've learned how to cuddle and love it! It was so liberating for my being!
I love my body's shapes, its gentleness and woman nature! Even life has smiled to me, bringing to me a good male friend who stands next me for many years.
I could say the key was letting my living war show me how to heal myself. Even enjoing my inner pain consciously. Quite confusing, huh ? If someone had told me that when I was a teenager, I guess I had punched him/her caring no remors. 'Cause there were many wounds.
Take a look at this lady playing ukelele. I still can't believe it's me! Being in its element wearing a nice skirt and singing without caring people's opinion.

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Thank you for according from your precious time to read a piece of my life. Hope it could be helpful for some of you.
If you feel lost, pray on life's greatness! This way I'm never alone :)



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5 comments
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Welcome to the Ladies of Hive!
Thanks for sharing your story, @searchinglight5
Ladies of Hive is here for you.
This is where we can exchange ideas and be inspired by the stories of others.
Perhaps we have the knowledge to share or perhaps we need to learn from others.
No matter what it is ... do it on Ladies of Hive.
You are not here just for yourself.
We are here for each other.
Meet other women in the community!
Get others involved!
Support each other!
And let's have fun!

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It is always good to follow your dreams and also do whatever makes you happy not minding other peoples opinions. Welcome to ladies of hives🙂

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