Lessons Learned: The Bad of Personal Experience.

The saying that experience is the best teacher is very true. Life brings a lot of situations that come to teach us something from it. It is our choice to learn or prove stubborn and allow it to happen again. They say committing a mistake for the first time is unintentional, but doing it the second time is stupidity or foolishness. I have been on this earth and have witnessed and heard of people who end up becoming ruined because of what they have done, and instead of others learning from their mistakes, they choose to go through it too.

Take, for instance, the issue of ritual money and how some girls would give themselves to those who end up using them because of money. We have listened to how they ended up being slaughtered and killed like animals, but some girls would still want to go into it thinking theirs would be different, but what happens next? While the wise one would learn from them and try to avoid such, some would still go after that in the hope that they'd be excluded or pardoned. The truth is, what works for A cannot work for B.

I have learned from the experience of other people and try to avoid such happening to me. I have read books of people's stories and what happened to them in the end, and try not to let that happen to me because I have learnt methods, ways and tips to avoid such tragic events. But you know, there are times things happen very fast that we wouldn't understand how it happened and we would vow and decide it wouldn't repeat itself because of the pain it has caused us.

Becoming the person I am today is due to the decision I made not to be like another person because I have seen how it turned them to be. My sister and cousin both went to the same secondary school. While my cousin chose to turn wayward, my sister focused on her studies knowing what she wanted, and today, my sister is doing well while my cousin's life isn't stable. I heard their stories from my father and chose the right way, having understood what they did and seeing which one would benefit me.

My experience and what it taught me.

I have also made mistakes that I learnt the hard way, the experience taught me a great lesson, coupled with the fact that I read books concerning the issue and it has changed who I am while forgetting the past.

My past relationships have never been stable and didn't enjoy any. My first relationship lasted for four years without the guy spending on me. I spent on him instead and easily fell in love, and when they know this, they take advantage of that and start billing me, threatening that if I did not help, they would leave me. My desperation to be in a relationship led me to experience heartbreaks.

I learnt to value myself because I read books, and watch other people's life stories and how they became bold and confident to others and themselves. Ever since then, I decided not to bring myself low or disvalue who I am. I learnt through my experience not to fall in love easily and even if I do, it should not be shown to the other partner. Desperation kills. I wished I never had to go through such moment.

The truth is, firsthand experience hurts so much more than reading people's stories and wanting to learn. The reason is that you keep remembering the hurt and tragic event, but it has helped you to change who you are because you want to change, and you will try not to let such happen to you again. But in another sense, if we do not go through it, there is no way we would understand how it feels. There is no way we would grow and expand our knowledge to share with other people. We learn what works and what doesn't when we try things.

When we do not make decisions and fail, we wouldn't learn the next time if we should go in that way again or not, but having to make mistakes would have taught you a big lesson that will guide you on how to live a better life the next time so that what happened before won't repeat itself.

To crown it all, learning firsthand or through books is effective when we apply them in our lives. For the former, it brings so much pain, regret and lessons to us while the latter makes us put ourselves in someone's shoes to see how it feels even though we can't say how it does feel. In my tribe, they say you can never know when a shoe itches you until you put it on.

Thanks for your time on my blog.