SHORT STORY: IT IS EASIER TO LEAVE

14 December

Tee: I need a break up.
I think we should break up.

Jay: Oh... Really?

Tee:Yeah

Jay: Ok..?
Where did this come from?

Tee: I don't want this anymore.

Jay: No reason?
You don't want to talk?
Ok.

15 December

Jay: I'm sorry.
Ok?

Tee: Don’t stress please.
Your lack of concern was better than this pretense.
Live your life!

Jay: See...
There isn't a lack of concern.
It's...
I'm sorry
Ok?
I care.
You delete this message

Tee: If you want to...
U know what, just forget it
I’d appreciate if you'd stop texting me

Jay: Are you serious?
I guess I lost my way a bit.
Please just block me...I won't be able to stop.

Tee: The same way you weren’t able to
say anything when I needed you to?

Jay: When did you need me?
Last night?
Quite frankly..I thought you hadn't done it.
I felt you were just kidding cos the
way it was painted was, if you do it you
would be basically incapacitated. But
you weren't...You didn't seem like you were in pain. I sent the money and we were chatting after and it seemed you were alright, so I figured you were just acting up when I asked you if you did it.
You kept ignoring me so I felt you were
upset about something else and needed some space.
And so I figured I'd give you space...
Well...

Tee: And this morning?

Jay: I tried talking to you.
You weren't talking to me.

Tee: You just said sorry and went about your life like me leaving doesn’t even matter.

Jay: I was distraught
Well...
Uhm

Tee: I’m honestly tired
This is who you are and I can’t deal so there’s no need

Jay:Ok
Ok...
Ok..
Ok

Tee: When you’re moody I always notice and want to know what’s up but you just don’t care.
You’d rather bail on me and go have blatant fun elsewhere.
That’s not the kind of partner I want
Thank you!
This isn’t the first or second
That’s how u are.

Jay: When I'm moody I want to be alone with my thoughts and be given space... And somehow I feel that's how moody people are and so I try to give them space.
You are right... It's how I am... It's how I deal with things.
Give it sometime and when the I feel the person is more open to talking... That's when I go and ask.

Tee: 👍

Jay: Cos I feel stupid asking someone what's wrong over and over again without reply... That might trigger me into be too vocal and then I might make it about myself which isn't the idea...The idea is to offer help when the person needs it or seems to need it.
Anyways...I guess I have a lot to work on... And I guess it's a journey I might have to embark on alone.
Thanks for everything.

Tee: 👍

16 December

Tee: Please send this video

Jay: No
Never!!!

Tee: Why
🥺

Jay: 😔

Tee: What?

Jay: Nothing

Tee: Send the video
Jay: No.
You get it exactly like I did... By pilfering it.

Tee: Alright.
Thanks for the video.

Jay: How are you?

Tee: Fine

Jay: Have you eaten?

Tee: Yes, but the baby needs money...
Your baby.

Jay: Whose?

Tee: Yours...Who else do you think?

Jay: Me, I dunno.

Tee: I guess this is where I should delete your number and move on.
You’re unbelievable.

Jay: Oh really?
I am sad

Tee: I’m sorry.
Why are u sad?

17 December

Jay: Just saw your call... I’ll call once I get to the office.

Tee: Okay
How are you?

Jay: I'm good
How is it over there?

Tee: How it has always been.

Jay: Is your sister back?

Tee: No!

Jay: Isn't she suppose to come back soon?

Tee: Well not yet.

Jay: So why then did you leave your house for your mom’s?

Tee: Cos I wasn’t doing anything there

Jay: You actually sounded like you preferred it

Tee: Ok

Jay: How is the stuff?

Tee: If you don’t have nothing to say to me, Why do you keep calling
I’m fine so u can stop checking in on me
Stop faking the concern
It’s so obvious and annoying.
I didn’t ask for much from u
But u still made me feel the way I did so cool.
It is ok.

Jay: Are you serious
I'm faking it?

Tee: Guyyyyy I told you I wanted a break up.
You said okay and watched me leave so
don’t come at me with the u care talk.

Jay: You are not suppose to act like this, tbh.
You aren’t.
You told me you are tired... I’ve heard that before.
Once someone says that... It’s only a matter of time.
You can fight, you can kick and you can
struggle... But at the end of the day, the person is tired.

Tee: Okay cool

Jay: I can go on and tell you to gimme time and all but the truth is, I am not even done feeling sorry for myself or what you have been going through.
How about working on yourself???
You wonder why a partner decides to go to the bar and drink instead of coming home to their loving partner sometimes...It’s not because the partner is terrible but it might be cos facing them is harder.
You think I’m not trying to do that? To work on myself?
I am tired also...But it has nothing to do with you.
I am tired and angry and upset and you have no idea because once I don’t channel it properly, it’ll bring up a repetitive cycle which will ultimately
destroy what I have with you and everyone.
I’m so angry sometimes.
And that’s why I get mood swings.
It’s fine though.

Tee: Why do u think I broke up with u?

Jay: Cos I don't show enough care?
Or maybe cos I was laughing in with my heard while seeing a show at his house while you were in "pains".

Tee: Whatever!
Hope u get better though so u don’t keep
hurting everyone around u.
And blame it on what you’re going through.
We’re all going through stuff but that’s not an excuse to be a terrible person to the people you so called love you.

Jay: No
I'm not a terrible person to you
I don't think I am

Tee: Why don’t you let me tell you that?
I’m on the receiving end.

Jay: Ok tell me.

Tee: You’re emotionally bankrupt
What ever that means😌

Jay: Explain it.. Don’t drop a big
word with vague meanings.

Tee: You’ve been very mean in case you didn’t notice
Well for a very long time you’ve given me this “stay if u want to, go if you want to, I don't care”
And I’m very sure I’m worth more than that
Someone who wants you will make u feel wanted
You don’t make me feel wanted
I feel like I’m holding this whole thing together
And no body send me message
This person I’m with, does he even want this or he’s still in it cos I haven’t left?!
And up till now, you’re still that person
And I’m no longer settling for that
Thanks

Jay: Are you done?

Tee: 👍

Jay: Ok...

Tee: Thought as much
You never disappoint

Jay: I don’t think you can say that I totally disregard you or that I always show that I don’t want you or I don’t make you feel wanted.

Oh wow.
You see... You have an idea of who I am that even network reveals that you have an unshakeable perception.
Even when it’s wrong.
Ok... Means I’m about to say something
You preempt me and jump to conclusions and expect me to be my cheerful self.
Do you think you can absolve yourself of wrong or of negative tendencies in the relationship?
Cos I don’t point them out all the time?

Tee: Then maybe u should
Why should I? Anytime I point out stuff, when we have an issue you will bring them up and back talk.
It's what you always do and you wonder why I stop myself short from telling you what you do that pisses me off.
Telling me that I don't show you care or that I don't make you feel wanted.
I took you on a trip to cousin's and I took you to my father's place and that's cos I want you to get a piece of a good deal and also bring us closer but no.....I don't show regard... or even when you said you wanted to go back home, I obviously didn't
tell you not to go that you should stay with me till your sister comes back
Or is it the days I come back that inspite of my absolutely terrible day I smile and joke with you and lift you up and carry you up when you ask me to playfully?
Instead of thinking on those times, you think of the times I go to my mate's house to see a match or the mornings I am quiet and don't want to talk.
You hang onto these things that are residues of someone trying to get their shit together while also making that person feel worse cos they obviously didn't call you after you said bad things to the person and deleted your partner's number because you were supposedly done with them... Obviously your partner doesn't show that they want you that much when the partner had to call back after you deleted the partner's number and tell you how much you are needed to the person's life and that the hurt was too much.
Even though... You are socially awkward to everyone including the people that are deeply important to your partner.
It's fine.

Tee: Yeah it’s fine.
Have a great day today.
I love you.

Jay: Get out!
You don't!!!
None of you knows what love is
😡
None of you!

Tee: Do you hate me now?

Jay: I'm not talking to you.

Tee: Who then??
If not me
It has to be me.
Alright.
You’re not going to apologize or anything?

Jay: I'm done with that.

Tee: You never did...