He was going through hell without my knowledge.

Yesterday which was a saturday, I went in the evening to see this friend of mine who happens to be one of the very few close friends that I have.

He's someone whose way of life greatly aligns with mine, as a result we do see regularly since we usually have many things to do together.

Imagine having a friend whom you pray with, share the scriptures with, go out on evangelism with, argue with and even discuss business with. Now that's the kind of friend I'm talking about. A friend indeed.

This fellow is someone who greatly believes in me. His support is almost unrivalled.

Strangely, the last time we spoke was three months ago. I'm not even talking about the last time we saw each other; that should be about four months ago.

No! I didn't forget him. I'm not even sure that I can erase him from my memory, even if I want to. The things we've done together have made it impossible for him to be forgotten. I've always had him in mind in those three months of silence. But, I somehow kept procrastinating over going to see him. I used busyness as an excuse. I did try to call him on few occasions though, and the call never went through.

I assumed that he was fine. I somehow refused to fully take the blame. I built my case on the fact that he didn't call me either.

Coincidentally I attended a function which I had to pass through his street, so I had every reason to call him again. I did, still without success. I then decided to dial his wife's number, it was then I was greeted with a voice from the other end.

The wife, in her usual playful manner, jokingly said that she wouldn't be my friend again because I abandoned them. Of course I laughed it off and went ahead to inform her that I'm in the vicinity and would love to stop by when I'm done with what I came for. I was informed by her that they are in my friend's mum's place and would remain there for few more weeks. I failed seeing them that day again.

My friend's mother's place is quite close to where I stay, so seeing them now will be no herculean task, so I thought. Did I then see them as soon as I got home? No! I procrastinated for one more week. I eventually made it there yesterday. I'm a family friend to them. Upon seeing me they couldn't hide their excitement. Even my friend's mum welcomed me with a warm smile, while my friend's wife continued in her playful taunts on not being my friend again.

As soon as the pleasantries were over, my friend took me aside and started narrating what transpired within the three months that I was absent.

His wife was heavily pregnant. She was to put to birth in the month of November. I think in the 7th month of pregnancy she was diagnosed with malaria, a malaria tablet she was given by the doctor caused a lot of rumbling and tussling in her womb. She could feel the baby, violently kicking and hitting itself against the walls of her womb.

After hours of unease, she felt a strange quiet and calm in her womb. The baby in the womb was not moving again.

They had to visit the doctor who gave them the saddest report they have ever had, as a family. The baby was dead. They didn't want to give up easily, so they visited some more places, which put them on a spending spree, as bunch of quacks sold them false hope.

They kept spending in hope that the child would come alive. After days of no result, they accepted their fate and decided that the wife would undergo a process that would pull out the lifeless baby. Surgery was recommended by a doctor but for an outrageous amount.

They started going from pillar to post in hope that they'll have it at cheaper rate elsewhere.

They got lucky as the wife is presently studying for her masters in the federal University situated in our state of residence. She even wrote exams amidst this turmoil. The wife's studentship gave them an advantage as the teaching hospital of the school took on the operation at a fairer rate, though it was still expensive. But when compared to the options that were left, then you'd agree with me that the bill was quite fair.

A miracle happened though. Through the storm, God wasn't totally absent. No knife touched her as earlier speculated. The doctor even mentioned that they were quite lucky because the dead baby remaining in the womb for days should have led to many complications, but it didn't. She was able to push out the lifeless baby alone. I could only imagine the excruciating pain she felt; both physically and emotionally.

It didn't end there. My friend almost lost his life on his way to get some things for the wife who was recuperating in the hospital bed.

It was a rainy day, as expected, everywhere was covered with water. With all the worries my friend had, he didn't know when he fell headlong into a deep cemented canal which leads to a large ravine. He so much hit his ribcage against the concrete wall of the canal that he feared he had broken some ribs. Thanks goodness! He's a good swimmer since he grew up in a riverine area. That's how he was able to swim to where his phone was. He took out his sim card and managed to pull himself out of the canal. All his contacts was lost. He was left with no phone. That explained why I couldn't reach him through the phone and why he didn't call me. He mentioned that he checked on me, at a spot I frequently visit, without seeing me there.

That all this happened just when the mum is recovering from a serious ailment that had her bedridden for months further added to their worries.

Their situation is not all hopeless anyways. My friend, the wife and his first son are hale and hearty.

I felt so bad that I was absent through out this period. At least I could have spoken some words of encouragement or say a word of prayer. My friend mentioned that he felt lonely for the first time in his life.

I learned some really hard lessons.

• Don't be too busy for the people you care about.

• Don't assume that they are all fine, the world isn't an eldorado. They might be going through some untold pains which your presence would be of a great comfort.

• Don't try to get even. Don't refuse to reach out to people you love because they haven't reached out to way. They might be going through hell.

• In every form of relationship, be it friendship or otherwise, kill every appearance of pride or maliciousness. It does no good.

• If you have it easier, don't hesitate to console those that are going through hell. Some people are literally going through hell.

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Check on someone you love frequently, you never can tell what the person is passing through.