My Father's Military Funeral (Honoring Those Who Served)

October 8, 2023

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog due to busyness at my father's funeral. In Filipino Catholic custom, the wake usually takes 9 days, and the 10th day is the interment of the late beloved. But since we had to wait for my older brother to arrive so we would be complete, the interment day was held on the 11th day, which was on the 2nd of October. I never thought my father's funeral would be more exhausting than my job. Sleepless nights and stressful days, including the toxic inflation rate. Although it was all done, we entered another phase of busy days, which is the processing of all military-related pensions, claims, benefits, and insurance. It's so exhausting and expensive, and we aren't done yet.

Anyhow, since my father was a veteran and a retired Philippine Army officer who defended the country back in the day, he was given a military funeral honor, which they called Honoring Those Who Served with the help of his co-retirees and friends.

The busiest night was the one before the burial. We were told that some retired and enlisted troops would be present at the vigil. As a result, we, the grieving family, prepared food for them as well as other wakers and guests. It was the first time I had ever seen our home crowded with people, both inside and outside, military and civilians. Two enlisted troops were stationed on either side of my father's coffin, and after a while, others would take over. The remainder were stationed outside the home on guard. We were guarded, as if we were VIPs. The vigil went on into the following day.

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On the 2nd of this month was the interment of my father's cold body. It was the last day we would see his body, and soon his soul would leave the earth. It was the toughest day in our life and a lot of emotions were expressed. Our eldest brother took the initiative to express our thoughts and forgiveness toward our father in front of his coffin before the funeral procession. As he stated, that moment would be our last chance to say whatever we wanted to say to him. The house was then filled with emotions and tears.

At nine in the morning, we started the procession from our house to the church for the funeral mass. This is another part of Filipino funeral customs. I, on the other hand, stayed beside my mother inside the funeral car. We were both emotional, but I was more worried about her. She looked unprepared to be alone. As if she couldn't live without our father.

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We reached the church at ten in the morning and waited for the priest to come for an hour. The schedule was supposed to be twelve, but we arrived too early. We rather wait for the priest, than let him wait for us.

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The people in the photo below are retired armies and my father's friends. They were those who initiated the military funeral honor with the help of my uncle (my mother's sister's husband), who is also a retired army. The priest arrived at eleven, and the ceremony started. At this point, I realized that my father wasn't bad, because he actually had a lot of friends.

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We've been too emotional throughout the funeral mass. Not just our family, but also the attendees. Although many in our place hated him because he was strict and somewhat arrogant at some point, many remembered him when he passed away. That's what matters most.

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Before the mass ended, one retired army officer and my oldest brother spoke and gave their last messages. I was moved by them, and my tears kept flowing uncontrollably. I was asked by my brother if I would do the honor to speak in front, but I declined as I thought I couldn't bear to speak publicly, even in front of my father's funeral. Besides, I can't talk well when I'm too emotional. But in my mind, I had so much to say that I just spoke out silently.

At the end of the mass was the picture-taking. The people below are the Philippine Army officers who did the last vigil and veterans who initiated the military funeral honor.

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Last was our family. I never imagined that our father's death would be the way to reunite us again for years. We had a lot of chances back when he was still alive, but we lost them. I just hoped he was happy to see us complete. For sure, he was. It would be a relief because I felt guilty at that time. I know he'll understand my situation. He, himself, doesn't want to see me suffering because of his shortcomings.

IMG_20231007_095454.jpgOur family, sis and bro-in-laws, and niblings, including my father's favorite pet Duterte

After the mass, we proceeded to the cemetery, where he was laid to rest. It wasn't our choice, to be honest, because my father's wish was to be buried at his farm. As he said, we don't need to buy land for his grave anymore. He knew that his end would come soon. But he was too selfish to share it with us earlier, so he was treated too late. However, due to the difficulty of getting the permit, we had no choice but to choose the public cemetery near our place.

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Next was the draping and turnover of the Philippine flag to the next of kin, my mother, along ith the playing of taps performed by a military bugler. During this part, a lot of realizations came to mind, and I felt proud of my father. He may not be perfect; he was strict, and many hated him before because of his negative character, including us, but we can't deny the fact that, despite all his flaws, he was a good man and defended the country back in the day. Most of all, he never left his family. And I wouldn't achieve whatever I have if not because of him.

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After the turnover of the flag, the volley shots were performed by the military firing team. This was made as a salute to the veteran. As this was our first time witnessing such an act, we were startled, especially my young nephew.

After the ceremony, we, his children, had a chance to hold his hand for the last time. We bless his hand, which is a Filipino gesture to show respect toward parents, grandparents, and other people older than us. For the first time, I touched a dead body. But I wasn't scared because it was my father's. As if he was alive. I wished he was.

The last day was also the funeral custom they called pa rosaryo or praying rosary for the soul. With this, we had a gathering at home. This includes the military group and all the people who attended the burial. For the first time, we hired a catering service to serve all the visitors. We even laughed at it since my father doesn't like such expensive services, but it happened at his funeral. We had no choice because we were too busy.

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He was finally laid to rest, and we finally heaved a big sigh of relief. The moving on stage had just begun, and it was still hard for us to accept the fact that he was gone, and we could no longer see him. But our memories with him remain in our minds and hearts forever.

(All photos are mine)

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46 comments
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That must have been a hectic week for you but nothing is to much for familia. There is an adage here that says, you don't know a good person until they pass away because when they are gone, the good things they have done will reflect immediately and that's why you have a lot of people turn out for dad's burial.

I am sure he was a good man even though he has his flaws. I pray papa soul continue to rest in peace.

Sending the family a huge hug... We love you all.

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Thanks George. You are as kind and supportive as always.
I guess that's true. When people die, those who remember him/her will come. The not genuine ones won't.

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Sorry for your loss, but seeing how people rallyround him show he lived his life to the fullest. He had fought and won for your nation so he deserved a befitting burial. I'm glad to see those soldiers giving there last tribute.

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He deserved that.. And we were glad some people remembered him and gave tribute..

!PIZZA

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Our deepest condolences, sis... May your father's soul rest in eternal peace... Sending you hugs and prayers❤️

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Thanks sis..this phase was done.. Another busy days will come.. I'll go to Manila with my mom to process some things..

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Keep safe sa byahe, sis and hope the processing will be smooth.

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I think most times the good side of people will come to light more when they are gone.

Your Papa fought well for his country and his family and that is what great men do.

I wish that his soul will continue to rest in peace. And I wish you and your family the strength and courage to get used to not having him around anymore. !luv and hugs 🤗 to you.

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Sorry, the LUVbot is currently out of LUV!

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Thanks !LADY I hope he's at the right place now and resting well. That's what he wanted.

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(Edited)

PIZZA!

$PIZZA slices delivered:
jane1289 tipped tengolotodo
jane1289 tipped coolmidwestguy
jane1289 tipped toluwanispecial
@jane1289(1/5) tipped @beeber

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I don't know what to say because I am not good when it's about consoling. I pray to almighty for you father and hope his soul is resting in peace.
Stay strong because it's a hard blow for your family.

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My condolences to you Jane. !HUG I can only imagine the grief those 11 days took on you and family. The military customs are much like ours. I find those type of ceremonies are harder than normal ones. I still remember those shots during my father's funeral so long ago and seeing my mother trying to keep it together and be strong as she was handed the folded up flag.

He will be in your heart and memories forever. I'm sure he will watch over you all looking down from above. I know you will move forward and get back to a new normalcy. He would have wanted this and I believe you will do this not only for yourself but for him.

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Thank you..
Was your father a veteran as well? It's the same custom I guess with those in the US..

I need to move on for my fam. But it will be harder...might take time..

!LUV !PIZZA

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(Edited)

Yes my father, myself, my grand father and beyond were all veterans. It will take time and everyone has a different timing to get through. Death is saddening but we also change from going through a loved ones loss. I know you will get through it Jane and I will keep praying for you & family as you transition from this 🤗 🙏 💚

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My thoughts are condolences are with you and your family Jane. I lost my father and then six months later our mother passed away. So I know too well what you are going through with grief and sorting of affairs.

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Thanks Ed..
I remember your post where you mentioned about it. Yours was even worse because you lost two of your beloved in a year..

!PIZZA

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Yeah not easy it was. No sooner than just about got to grips with losing one then bam mother goes too.
Oh well you know where I am if ever you need an ear Jane.

!HUG

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I stopped by to say hello and came across your post and this unpleasant news of your father's departure.
My condolences for such a great loss.
It only remains for me to tell you that I agree with what you say in relation to the fact that in spite of everything, of his bad character and his strict way of proceeding with his children, without them we would not be what we are today.
Receive my embrace.

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Thanks @gertu..
He somehow changed for good to make up with his family. But I guess it was too.. We didn't even have a quality time together..

!LADY

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Now you only have to live to remember, respect his memory and forgive yourself for the memories you can't get over. Now he will go to the righteous judge and needs your masses, prayers and rosaries.
A big hug sweetheart.

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oh so sorry to hear that Jane. May your father's soul rest in peace. It must be a hard time for you and your family.

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That's life.. We just need to move on .
Thanks btw

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Yes, you're right. I think the lost people will be happy somewhere to know that the alive ones lead a good life and do good things.

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Dear Jane, so sorry for your loss I send my deepest condolence 🙏
Dealing with so many guests in this situation, not an easy task. Maybe he was strict in his life, but I also see a lot of love. For sure he loved seeing family reunited.
I wish for you to come good to this times finding inner peace and love with whatever has been. Thanks for sharing with us and feel hugged ❤️

May your father Rest in Peace 🙏

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Thank you. It may be hard to deal with things today.. But we'll move on soon

!PIZZA

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Sorry for your loss Jane. My deepest condolences. and prayers are with you at this time.

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(Edited)

Oh, dear Jane. I am very sorry for your loss. Your publication conveys serenity and that is important to keep the positive with you.
Time will mitigate the pain but not the memory, which is the best way to honour those who are leaving us. A big hug. ❤️
!LUV !HUG

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Bless you Jane and your family. Thanks for sharing this very hard and tender part of your life. That is a blessing to get to see so much of your family. Hope your heart heals soon.

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Me too during my father's funeral, my brother talked instead of me because I can't talk well when crying.

I haven't witnessed this kind of service yet pero I salute military team for this kasi kahit retired na, vinavalue parin nila.

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Sorry I totally missed thus post Jane as I've been traveling.

Sounds like you all had a complicated relationship with your father,it must have been mixed emotions for everyone at his funeral. Now he has left you all, maybe the relationship and feelings you all have towards him can move to the next stage, with just the good leaving the bad behind

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He changed for the better to make up for his shortcomings.. But it was like too late..
🥲

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