The Culture of Victim-Blaming is Alive and Well

Two women: one is upset with me for talking about my abuse; the other is upset with me for refusing to specify which family member. Two women with two differing opinions, yet who share one common factor -- their contempt for the VICTIM, as opposed to the ABUSER.

(This image was created on NightCafe using an AI art generator)

Two women: one is my aunt; the other my mother. The abuser was my maternal grandfather. Hopefully one can infer which woman is which: my mother is upset that I talk about it, and my aunt is desperately trying to save her own deceased father's reputation. For both women, their egos are more important than their blood who was abused.

Here I am, just wanting to acknowledge the matter whenever I mention my faith, for it is through God that I survived and overcame, and both women are more intent on their pride. One of them -- my aunt -- considers herself a "devout" follower of God, yet had THIS to say to me. And it wasn't even her father that did it!

(A screenshot of the conversation between my aunt and I; I am blue)

Meanwhile, my mother doesn't like to affiliate the acts with a man she still idolizes -- the classic "There's no WAY my daddy would do that!" deflection. "Hates hearing about it" -- imagine having lived it.

This act happened almost 20 years ago, yet this is still how kin chooses to react to it. One would think that it happened to them, given how personally they take it! (To be fair, my aunt DID try invalidating my lifelong experiences with the abuse by saying "a doctor" did it to her "once"). This was literally the first message from her that greeted me:

For context, this is the post in question. Both my aunt and mother are shaking over the fact my grandfather took up one line of text in a six paragraph post. Meanwhile, I mention my SISTER also abused me in the sentence after it -- nobody bats an eye 🙂

(Makes me think of this scene from The Dark Knight 😂)

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read! 🙏 I am grateful that I have managed to come to terms with my abuse over the years, but it's absolutely terrible that nearly 20 years later, I still have virtually no support from family. If you have ever been in a similar situation, know that I completely understand, and I am here for anyone that needs to talk. In the meantime, please take care, everybody! 💛