Hive feature film 1st draft review

Yes you heard it right. We have finally received the first draft of Hive's very own feature film script thanks to the epic efforts of @killerwot and @thedeltron at @filmmaking4hive .
Its taken me a few days to get round to it because its been a crazy week (....and a crazy summer if Im honest) but I have JUST read through for the very first time and I figured now would be a good moment to scribble down my first impressions.

NO SPOILERS

First of all, just to be clear, I have signed a non disclosure agreement in order to be privy to this first draft so I will not be revealing any specific aspects of the scripts content. This is a general progress and flavour review with a few of my initial thoughts thrown in.

My First Impressions

It was always going to be a tough ask to try to capture the incredibly complex series of events that took place during the hostile takeover but Im happy to say that Im impressed with how things are looking so far. Don't get me wrong, there's a long way to go from here but just getting some comprehensible narrative out of such a convoluted situation is admirable in itself. @killerwot has managed to identify some key story threads from various corners of the community and weave them together to ensure that we get multiple angles as we navigate the confusion of this historic web 3 scandal. This ensures that there is plenty of room for laughs as well as drama and even an element of mystical insight amongst the tech jargon and crypto politics! The humour really shines through on a number of occasions and the potentially dry office dramas are handled very well. I felt a palpable sense of excitement and tension as the events began to unfold and the pressure began to ramp up amongst the cacophony of different interested parties. It isnt a full script yet (80 pages so far!) so I was left biting my nails when the story was cut short.... I cant wait to read the next installment to get a feel for the full arc of this mad tale. Endings are often hard to get right but somehow I feel that this ones genna be great! ;p

Improvements

Its crazy to start talking about improvements at this early stage but hey, Ive got to churn out some content here right?

Honestly, it really is too early to be making suggestions because the primary focus for the team right now should be to get a complete, full length draft out, even if it feels a little clunky. so if you're reading this @killerwot, just ignore me and keep writing! With that said, here are some thoughts:

My main bugbear about the script so far is the way it deals with the basic concepts of crypto blogging. Obviously it was always going to be a major challenge to give a viewer a crash course in to such a complex system but somehow I feel that this first draft is approaching it from the wrong angle. Im not sure whether this counts as a spoiler or not (Im sure @thedeltron will let me know if this needs redacting) but currently the basic functions of the crypto blogging economy are learned by a noob character as he encounters new concepts, gets confused, asks questions and receives info from other characters around him. I was in some of the initial discussions at the start of the year and I remember we all agreed that this could be a good way to try to unfold this difficult info and lay a foundation of knowledge for any viewer who is new to the subject matter. However, seeing it in practise gave me an uncomfortable feeling.
1: It feels a little forced and stale and certainly doesnt make for entertaining dialogue.
2: At times it can read a bit like a poorly disguised advert. It feels too much like everyone is 'onboard' with the concepts and like the viewer is being coerced in to learning about something instead of watching a captivating narrative.

This is bound to get ironed out in further drafts but I cant help feeling like an entirely different approach might make for something more entertaining. Adam Mckay has tackled these sorts of complex info dumps very creatively in films like The Big Short and Vice by breaking the fourth wall, using incongruous imagery (margot Robbie in a Bath Tub!) and throwing a bit of arrogance and cynicism in to the mix to ensure that the viewer KNOWS that they should feel out of their depth. Ive been on this platform for years and I STILL feel out of my depth, so if we make out like it is something that can be easily summed up or understood, we are risking alienating a large section of our audience very quickly. Equally we don't want the audience to feel patronised so its a difficult balance to strike. Somehow the Big Short managed to make it ENTERTAINING that a system way too complex for most people to understand was screwing us all over.

Hopefully this film can achieve something similar. Hive is a super confusing geek party where a FASCINATING seminal drama played out across a digital network. Stay cynical, stay cutting and let the revolutionary aspect speak for itself. Entertainment first.

Im genna stop there because Ive already managed to make one criticism last longer than the entire review. Sigh. I cant help it I just get excited. This script is already shaping up really nicely and obviously I want it to be the best it can be!

In Conclusion

Im super impressed by the first draft and relieved that the project is in good hands. There is every chance that this can be developed in to a killer script that will have production companies drooling over it and fighting to sign us up! But BE PATIENT everyone. A good script takes a lot of drafting and redrafting before it becomes a diamond and theres no doubt that this story is more complicated than most. If you want to see a fantastic film get made, then give this team as much time and support as they need. It'll be worth it ;)

Big love and Hive on!
Basil



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21 comments
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Wow this is a great review man, I'm really glad you like the script and are happy with how things are shaping up. I'll deffinatly be making not of your thoughts on the noob characters introduction to the space, I don't want it to be heavy handed, boring or feel like an advert. Thanks so much for your review, it'll be a huge help in striving to make sure this script is as good as it can be!

!PIZZA !LOLZ

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hey no problem man. You've done a great job so far. Happy to be able to contribute in whatever way I can. I VERY much look forward to seeing the next installment ;)

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I look forward to everyone reading the next part too! Also, it'l be great to make some changes to this first draft down the line which gets us closer to where we want to be with it!

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exactly. dont even think about changing stuff yet, just plough on and we'll workshop the hell out of it when the full script is complete

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(Edited)

no spoilers

haha, we were there, we know what happened 😅 😘

like that time I found an old DVD of Rumble in the Jungle and couldn't remember the outcome 😍

actually, you've just reminded me of the excitement and tension of the time. like your idea for the 4th wall breaks a la The Big Short. I thought that was well done. I hope the bit about it's an alternative economy, not just another fund for the 1% to get their greedy mitts on, is in the story somehow.

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lol.
'....that time when you ARE the ending of the film you're watching'

And in regards to that last comment, I personally think we ought to lean in to making it LOOK like its the 1% getting their greedy mitts on all the cash, because lets be honest, thats what steemit inc AND tron basically tried to do. I think the average joe will be far more on board with the entertainment of it if they get to sit on the cynical side...UNTIL....!!!! The end of course, when the community really shows what its made of, and the viewer gets to sit back and say....wow....thats actually pretty cool! When does that ever happen?

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Nice one @basilmarples. You gave a very honest review of the first draft of this script and these will be instrumental in the next big step that will be made by the team.

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thankyou my friend :)
its always nice to get feedback about feedback. And look, now Im giving you feedback about how your feedback of my feedback felt!

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Niceeeeeee. You get the gist.

The feedback mechanism we are seeing is adorable. It helps massively.

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Looking forward to this one, 80 pages.., but no filming yet?

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waaaay off dude. I should think they'll need to go through at least of couple of redrafts before it feel ready to start putting under the nose of production companies and looking for funding etc.

we're in this for the long haul ;)

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Yeah, no filming yet, with so many considerations that goes into filming a feature film we'd need the script to be completely nailed down before even thinking of picking up a camera.

At the moment, I'm thinking there's another 60-80 pages left to go and then the entire script needs a going over to make some changes. Then refine that second draft again in the third draft.

It's got plenty of work to go, but we're getting there.

!PIZZA

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I can't wait to see the results, when it's all done. I can somehow see it all play out in my head but that's probably because I've seen it all play out haha. Great review although not giving away too much. Well, nothing we didn't know anyway.

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unfortunately im not allowed to give anything away! I think Im just here to create a bit of fuss around the script so that everyone knows its still happening! hehe. Except more vague reviews from me as time goes on.... :)

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Well not just that, we'll be organising meetings within the next few weeks to go in depth privately so we can make notes of any changes and hear any concerns and considerations.

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