When Should You Apologize?

As social beings, we will always be around people, and these people come from different backgrounds, which is why they might get offended by our actions or word of mouth.

Apology is a very good tool or a skill that fosters a peaceful atmosphere with people. Have you ever wondered why a crying baby stops crying just at the sound of sorry? Although the pain might still be there, sorry goes a long way to show how empathetic we are, how genuine we are, and how much we care about people around us.

I read a particular love story about how a dude abandoned a lady whom he had been dating for over three years for another lady without closure, and when the lady told her part of the story, she said all she craved was closure, why did he leave, and an apology for leaving her in that manner. We all know that the apology will not mend her broken heart, but then it's like a soothing balm that enables one to heal faster and also adds to the art of letting go of unnecessary burdens in the heart.

Apology also means taking responsibility for one's actions, expressing remorse, proving to the other person that one is ready to turn a new leaf, showing genuineness, rebuilding trust, and acknowledging one's wrongdoing, which I consider an attribute of the meek because a proud person always looks for ways to justify their actions no matter what.

Growing up, my dad taught me through his actions the value of apology. I watched him countlessly apologize to my mom, even though he was at fault or not, just to maintain a peaceful atmosphere. He even extends this act towards us after harshly disciplining us; he'll call us when he's calm and then apologize for being so harsh on us and then tell us why he disciplined us in such a manner. It's really rare to see a typical Nigerian man do that, and it was so beautiful to see my dad so emphatic, loving yet firm for what is right. Through his loving attitude, I learned without a word that, after all, a sorry will not change who I am or what I'll be in the future. I have practised this with my friends and family, and this has saved my relationships from crashing. I've apologized for saying something wrong or misbehaving, for misunderstanding someone's point of view and the like.

As much as an apology has a great impact on relationships and communication, there are certain scenarios in which I will never apologize, even if it means pointing a gun at me.

Scenario one.

Supposing I work in a firm or company and I am being denied my salary without a genuine reason, and then I politely ask for it, only to be treated like a beggar or my life depends on the job. To make matters worse, let me say my boss flings my salary on the floor out of annoyance, and I chose to walk out on him without touching the money. No matter how people make it look, he is my boss, and I should give him his respect. I promise you, I will NEVER apologize. I'd rather leave the company than apologize because I cannot apologize for being disrespected even though he is superior to me.

The reason why I will not apologize is that, firstly, my salary is my sweat and I worked for it; secondly, I am not a slave or a piece of sh*t that you throw money at me.

I place so much regard on myself, and my self-esteem means a lot to me.

Scenario Two.

Supposing a friend of mine, let's say friend A is plotting evil against a mutual friend because they are not on good terms. Let's say I know about and decide to save the mutual friend from danger, and friend A thinks I betrayed him or her and demands an apology. I will NEVER apologize. Reasons why I will never apologize:

Firstly, such kind of people are toxic and manipulative, manipulative people. Makes you feel guilty for doing something right, and that messes with one's mental health. Second, life is involved; I don't want to live with guilt for the rest of my life, and such a friend could also do the same to me.

Scenario Three:

In a situation whereby I am in dire need of financial support and I run to you for help, let's say a trusted friend of the opposite sex, and demands I pay in kind before he supports me. When I respectfully decline and he tries to do anything funny, and then I end up defending myself by taking drastic measures, I will never apologize because I cannot compromise my high moral standards for anything, no matter who you are or what you own.

Lastly;

In a situation where I am being honest about what I did not do, you are forcing me to admit what I didn't do and apologize just for peace to reign, I will never apologize or admit what I didn't do.

Let's say someone damages something in the house or company and it is wasn't me; no matter how angry you are, I will never admit I did that because I cannot apologize for being honest and accepting blame or punishment for what I did not do just to make peace reign.

In summary, I will never apologize for upholding my core values and religious beliefs like integrity and honesty, nor will I apologize for who I am, for being morally chaste, for being disrespected or taken for granted, and for exposing wicked schemes.