Perfect. All the more so because it takes courage to write a story that will displease people. The safe way to go is for the righteous to win. Just like 'real life', right?
There's no way to tell you were straining to conform to a rigid format. Your verbal acrobatics seem effortless.
May I be presumptuous and recommend a blog by @chriddi? The blog is in German--I used Google Translate to help me catch all the bits. I think if you read the blog, you'll see why I relate it to your story. Or maybe I'm just too impressionable :))
Glad I stopped by to check you blog. A treat.