IWAS -- Vol. 2 No. 11 ~ Happy Ne'kid (Cake) New Years (A Theme For The Holidays Seems To Be Developing Here) ~ QSFW* ~
Whereas We Learn Something New on New Years Eve
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New Years Eve Day
Rainy, Wet and Nasty
There I was at the grocery market, wandering around, searching out more snacks for my big New Year's Eve Celebration. Something to go along with homemade pizza and root beer, and a few good DVD movies. Yes, I know, really exciting stuff. But I feel one really should try to find joy in the smaller things of life. Much like the grainy sands of the desert, packed and schmooshed over eons of time and earthly pressures, year after year, until one day ending up as huge, triangular stones, which are cut and stacked up 'just so' to make a grand pyramid or two. Nothing like it, those tiny, unassuming, oft un-noticed building blocks of life's daily adventures. And this was one of those times to be noticed. As that one saying from somewhere or another goes: "Don't sweat the small stuff, embrace it, like a chubby pet hamster."
On With The Story At Hand
There I was, at the grocer's...wandering aimlessly about the baked goods area...when what reached out to snag my wandering holiday peepers ? Way, way over beyond sweet rolls and cupcakes, in a curved glass display case? A yellow tag. A yellow ON SALE tag. Hollering out to anyone within eye-shot in none-too-subtle visual fashion, "Hey, you there. Yes, you. Standing by the crescent rolls and popovers. Come on over here, and check me out. I'm a deal, a GREAT deal...and let's face it, you can't afford NOT to buy me".
I edged closer, and there, next to the other whimsically odd, hand-crafted cakes, pies, cupcakes and cookies, was the cutest miniature cake I'd ever seen. All white, with funky noodle-shaped tubes, strange white balls, and other, hopefully edible bakery decoratives and doodwaubles, scattered all over the top of the cake. The thing reminded me of an upside down, miniature Abraham Lincoln top hat celebration cake. Only Abe's hat wasn't white. Or a cake. And didn't have baubles on it. But the cake was still COOL.
Our Diminutive Cake In Question
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"How can a whole cake be only $2.99 ", I wondered aloud. The bakery lady behind the counter with big, curly hair explained that it was a 'no show' cake. Whoever ordered it, didn't come in to pick it up. Sort of a Charlie Brown cake, I suppose. And that's why it was on sale. Then, as an afterthought, she blurted out, "it's a naked cake".
I mumbled out a faltering "pardon", all the while envisioning sitting at my assigned table at the wedding of two local nudists in their colony. Me, with drink in hand, staring at the cake one table over, just waiting for the cake cutting ceremony to begin. My daydream didn't even GET to the actual bridal couple showing up, but was limited to the small, plastic cake decorations perched on top. Two plastic people standing holding hands, sans tuxedo, wedding dress and all the rest. Not a pair of under-fineries in sight. Both just sporting nice tan skin in all their splendiferous, as-born glory, atop my little cake.
Breaking through my obvious puzzlement, the bakery lady went on, "a naked cake is one that has very thin frosting, on the sides".
I blushed a bit, as if she could read my mind, still messing about over at the nudist nuptials. I finally eeked out a feeble response, "oh, thin frosting. That makes sense." (As if it did).
A Very Naked Cake Side
Half naked icing on its vertical walls or not, I was still darn excited about this find. A cake for this cheap is a steal. A WHOLE cake. For $2.99! I could barely contain myself. Who sells a hand-made cake for less than 10 dollars? You can't even go to a movie by yourself for that price. Plus there's never any cake at a movie, unless you sneak it in under your coat. Or in a backpack. Which makes a real mess. (Pizza is a lot easier).
I looked at the tag, noting my cake was marked down from $15. That's over 80% savings! The New Year was already shaping up and looking good, and the official starter ball hadn't even dropped yet on the TV back home.
There was only one thing to do...take the little cake home. I gave the bakery lady my $2.99, and smiled as she tried to wrap it up. Unfortunately, the cake didn't fit in the official small cake box too well. Too tall. So she pasted it down to the bottom of a huge cake box with an old discarded cake label, so it wouldn't tip over on the ride home. I appreciate such small gestures of competence, so as to not ruin my new snack cake on sharp, fast turns in the road. And it soon got home, in one piece, and the rest is confectionary history.
Doesn't get much better than this. Happy New Years to me!!
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It's All In The Details
My Cake In All Its New Year's Glory
At first I thought those little tubes were noodles. They weren't, though I'm still not sure what they are. I ate them. They were good, in a rather odd, sweet, pasta-consistency sort of way. As for the balls, they were like little sugar marbles, and almost as hard. I haven't eaten those yet. My dad was a dentist. No doubt he'd be proud of me for holding to hard candy abstinence.
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Proof Of Size
As you can see, this is one small cake.
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Procedure, Procedure, Procedure
What'd She Use, Baker's Super Glue?
I got really excited about my new cake when I got home. I was in a hurry to try it, but the woman had really plastered it down to the cake box with the very sticky old cake label. I had to pry the cake off with a spatula. Once my cake was out, I took the requisite photos, then cut into it to eat. THEN realized I'd forgotten to take a photo of it in the box. Yikes! Once I put it back in, it stuck very efficiently to the sticky box label once more. REAL efficiently. I had to pry it off again, but my cake 'slice' tipped over in the process. Wow, proper bakery cake procedures are stressful at best.
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Dreaming Big In 2020
A Bleary-Eyed Cake Monster of SOME Sort
I'm hoping one of these mondo cakes go on sale next year, on December 31st. Wouldn't that be something. Though in hind sight-induced forethought, this may not be the next best idea. After eating about 16 pounds of that yellow frosting, I'd probably stay awake for days. I've done it before, consuming a pint of Häagen-Dazs Chocolate Sorbay at 11:30 PM.
Laying in bed most of the night, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, wishing against wish for sleep to fall, those little chocolate caffeine monsters in my brain laughing at my plight. I'm pretty sure eating spoonfuls of that yellow frosting above would put a midnight Chocolate Sorbay buzz to shame, if truth be told. I think I'll stick to the mini-cakes on sale in the year's to come. Oh, the trials and tribulations of a major snack-meister gone wild on New Years Eve Bakery Sale Day.
And so, with that tasty cake under my belt...
~ Happy Ne'kid New Year's Confectionery To All, and To All, A GREAT New Year! ~
~ Finto ~
*QSFW: Quite Safe For Work
Thanks for stopping in and viewing a bit of Confectionery New Years Cheer. If you have any thoughts about small cakes, great deals on snacks, how to eat a lot of sugar after 10 PM and still get to sleep, New Years wishes, or anything else this post reminds you of, please feel free to comment away in the spaces below. I'd love to hear from you.
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Posted: 01/03/2020(WOW!)@ 12:12 ~ Post No. 327
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