Day 858: 5 Minute Freewrite CONTINUATION: Tuesday - Prompt: peacock

avatar

tj-holowaychuk-lssS7acGDls-unsplash.jpg

Source

A flustered peacock, unable to impress other male birds of importance with his plumage, likes to think that at least he ought to be able to impress a pea hen …

But what if she isn't a pea hen, but an eagle, loved by eagles?

Mr. Perseus Slocum, president of the Skyview Neighborhood Association, was having a bad day. He had failed in his main task of keeping the 60,000 or so relatives of the 12,000 or so Black and Latino servants who had perished in the Ridgeline Fire out of the neighborhoods where those servants had died.

So far as Mr. Slocum and most of his fellow homeowners were concerned, having served gave no rights at all to the servants to have any connection to the place once their service ceased – even if by tragic death. No use, no point in remembering or honoring – as it was before 1865, so let it remain. Mr. Slocum and his ilk had not even cared to report what servants they had lost; it took the coroner counting bone fragments to force the matter to light.

Those 60,000 relatives had made enough trouble as it was, driving in twice a day for a week and locking down Big Loft's downtown. They had cost the city uncountable millions in revenue, so why would anyone want that destructive force in their neighborhood?

However, Mayor Garner had refused to see it that way, and after that, Commissioner Scott had refused to seriously entertain putting up the kind of police presence that would show those 60,000 people that they really weren't in charge of anything, and could be pushed off the ridge at will – or at orders from the landowners there.

(Never mind the fact that Big Loft didn't have enough police to put on that kind of show of force, even if Commissioner Scott had turned out every single officer – Mr. Slocum and his ilk figured that the 60,000 couldn't count and were still likely to be intimidated.)

Mr. Slocum was a proud man and not accustomed to not having his way, and had not realized yet that, now that his world of privilege had burned to the ground, the rest of the world was not impressed by his displays.

At least, not the men … but perhaps the women still might be.

He had spotted her just before going into the commissioner's office … tall, ample and shapely, smooth olive skin, dark hair, dark eyes, really pretty, long legs … she was involved with supplies or some such because someone was making a delivery and she was going downstairs while her colleague delivered … some little pink-collar pea hen who needed to be rescued from a dead-end job.

And yes, he was married, but that had never stopped him before.

So, he came out of the commissioner's office, dusted himself off, took a few breaths, and put his charm mode back on … she would be coming back up any minute... and, sure enough, the elevator was rising … stopping on the second, then on the third … any second … .

Mrs. Maggie Thornton, secretary to the commissioner, always put time in on Fridays making sure supplies and such were laid in for the next week. That work on Friday made Monday less stressful for everyone. She had just gotten coffee and refreshments set up for the commissioner's first appointment when a shipment had arrived; she had gone down to talk with the supplier's representative just as Mr. Slocum had come up the stairs. She had just come back inside when the sound of Mr. Slocum violently and filthily cussing out the commissioner filtered all the way down the stairwell.

Mrs. Thornton had courage galore. It was her job, as the secretary, to get in there and cool things down and call security if necessary; into the elevator she went, only to have it stop on the second floor … and Captain H.F. Lee stepped in.

“I knew you would go to the fight, Maggie ... that's why I didn't just go up the stairs.”

The door closed, and in this moment alone, Mrs. Thornton found security and strength in the embrace of the man she loved.

“I've got your back, Maggie. Mr. Slocum is a pushover – and if he needs pushing over, I've got your back, so do your job.”

Captain Lee stepped off on the third floor, because he was going to alert the commissioner and then get behind Mr. Slocum, but before that door opened, he gave her a rare, sweet kiss on her forehead.

“I've got your back, Maggie – do what you need to do.”

Up she went, and there was Mr. Slocum, smiling away, just waiting for the elevator innocently, as if nothing had happened.

“Oh – good morning, beautiful!” he said, and tipped his hat as she got off and the door closed. “I was going to head down, but, how do you do?”

“I'm the commissioner's secretary, sir, and you just cussed out my boss. Go on downstairs and get out, because there's nothing here for you.”

Mr. Slocum's mouth fell open and some dirty words came out as Mrs. Thornton scooted past him, but when he turned around, there stood Captain H.F. Lee right behind him, with Commissioner Scott closing behind him. Mrs. Thornton kept going to her desk … “Security!” she said after pressing a button on her desk phone.

Captain Lee's entire division came off the elevator – five strapping young lieutenants, alert to the fact that there was trouble in the commissioner's office. Meanwhile, other officers from the second and third floors started coming upstairs, so, Mr. Slocum soon found himself surrounded.

“You wanted a show of force, Mr. Slocum,” Commissioner Scott said. “Here it is. I'm not going to say it again. Get out. Captain Lee, would you be so kind as to escort him out – and Mr. Slocum, if you watch the news at all, you better know not to try any tricks on Captain Lee!”

Mr. Slocum's eyes went wide as Captain Lee pushed the elevator button … oh, yes, he knew about the Angel of Death … and clearly, the angel was already angered … and that elevator was really small to be with him alone, the death just oozing off his body … and that voice, so cold … when they got to the ground level …

“I'm going to give you a ten-second head start out of the building.”

Mr. Slocum's level of terror went from one to one million, and then to one billion … .

“Ten!”

From the fourth floor, everyone laughed hysterically as Mr. Slocum went running through the streets of downtown Big Loft, all his pride plucked from him like the feathers of a peacock left scattered in the street.

As the other officers went away, the commissioner turned to Mrs. Thornton.

“I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Mrs. Thornton,” he said. “If I had known you were coming back so soon I would have called you and told you to take your time.”

“No worries – it's all done now,” she said.

The commissioner smiled.

“Captain Lee and his keen hearing … his timing was impeccable.”

Mrs. Thornton knew he was teasing gently ... he knew all about it.

“An amazing officer,” she said, and smiled back.

“I'm going to be crying in December,” the commissioner said, “but all for me. You? You're just going to your reward!”

Photo by Tj Holowaychuk on Unsplash



0
0
0.000
4 comments
avatar
(Edited)

I wish I could have selected your piece for a future "finish the story" contest for you are the great writer. But for a 750-word story your beginning it's too long. More importantly, it's setting is so thoroughly attached to a certain place and the style is so true to a certain local colloquialism that no other writer in this club would be able to adequately continue this story. :)

0
0
0.000
avatar

With all due respect: this piece was not written with your needs in mind, so judging it by what you would like it to be is not wise. But if you were to ask respectfully for something that fits your specifications, I would consider crafting you something that could work. Also: don't count out our fellow writers, a number of whom are very good and have been reading my daily work for a while. They might not come up with what you or I would come up with, but this community has some very strong writers.

0
0
0.000
avatar

I know you didn't write it to the spec. So let me tell you what's going on.

Last year we had @Zeldacroft who ran the contests by offering her prompts every week. This year she got sick and then very busy in her school and there were no contests. A couple of weeks ago I asked @wasco to run one and she did by tweaking a little bit her daily freewrite entry. I think everybody was happy with that contest. I certainly was.

That gave me an idea to run the contests by selecting entries from daily freewtites. I talked to @mariannewest and she agreed to conduct a contest for a best future contest prompt. She agreed to try it out and possibly soon, once she will decide on the format, she will make an announcement.

My task was to select several existing freewrites as a possible contest prompts. I did select six of them and looked at your entries, but they weren't written to that spec. :)

You might ask me why am I so enthusiastic about the "finish the story contests"? Two reasons

  1. I don't have a popular account and the same story posted for the purpose of contest would have much more reads than posted otherwise.
  2. A more complex one. I am an immigrant I don't have insider knowledge of American culture and of the English language. I can write in English but a trained eye would immediately categorize me as an outsider to the culture and to the language. American English has so many shadows, slangs, and drolls and one has to truly feel the language to be able to take advantage of them. More importantly, I don't have a true feeling for what "my fellow American" feels and thinks and when I write I make a wild guess. However, when I have a beginning written by someone else, I just need to understand the character and the narrative and follow along. Usually, that is a much simpler task. )))

Cheers!

0
0
0.000