We-Write #7: The Customer
@Zeldacroft here!
This week's We-Write is special, because we're celebrating the launch of the first book from the Freewrite House Beta Readers Group! @ntowl is our proud sponsor and a friend to the freewriting community here on steemit, and now an author!
Her book, On the Outward Edge, is a short-read (about 90 minutes) full of sci-fi goodness and interesting characters. You can read more about it here, or better yet you can read it for free on Amazon for the next couple days! Getting reviews as an unknown author is really important, so if you check it out be sure to leave some stars!
Our prompt this week is brought to you by @ntowl! It's actually an extended version of a freewrite she did on steemit a while back. Enjoy!
The Prize: 5 SBI Sponsored by @ntowl
100% Upvotes from the FreeWrite House for All Entries
What is a We-Write?
If this is your first time coming across a WE-Write post, have no fear! It's all quite simple.
Every Monday we'll give you the beginning of a story. Use that beginning and keep writing. Most people do the 5-minute freewrite method, but a little longer is okay, too.
Then, publish it as a post with a link to this post AND drop a link to your post in the comments below this one. To be eligible to win you must comment on this post with a link to your entry.
Or, you may publish your story as a comment to this post.
Please tag me, @zeldacroft, and @freewritehouse in the beginning of your posts, and add a link back to the contest. Also, please make it clear which part is the prompt and what is your ending. Thank you!
How Do You Win?
Each week the winner will be chosen randomly from the entries. The deadline for entering is Sunday night at 9:00pm EDT, aka the same timezone as Boston, USA.
The announcement will be made the following day in the post for the next week's prompt! If you're the winner, @ntowl will send you your SBI then. 😊
This Week's Prompt
by @ntowl
The Charged Up Cafe was dead. Not because its tables didn’t have the power to charge devices as promised, but because no sane person wants coffee in the middle of the night.
So I loitered at the cash register looking out at the emptiness. Benches lined the walls and a single line of small circular tables were set up between them. The space was small - the owner liked to call it "intimate" - but it felt strangely cavernous being there alone. Now and then I'd walk back to the kitchen to chat with Henry, the night shift cook. But tonight he wasn’t in the mood to talk and simply grunted at me in response to everything I said. Still, I kept going in since just seeing him made me feel a little less alone as the hours dragged on.
Somewhere around midnight I left the kitchen to clean the tables, again, and saw I had a customer. He wore a black business suit with a long blue tie and white shirt. His face looked like hell. It’s not that he was old, but the skin around his eyes and mouth sagged a little. It's how I imagined doctors look after long shifts in the ER. When he saw me he shuffled past the benches and tables towards me.
"I need to charge," he said. I looked at him, wondering why he was telling me. Every table had a charging station. Why didn't he just go plug in?
"Ok. Pick a table and plug in. I'll be over to take your order in a sec."
He looked at me, then at a table. After what seemed like forever he sat down. I took a deep breath knowing that this would be one of those nights. You know, the ones filled with weirdos and oddballs. Like the guy a few months ago that came in wearing pajamas. Pink unicorns and balloons on the pants and a purple shirt that said "I Believe". It was cute, but didn't match his bushy beard and mohawk. Another time a woman tried to order "fuzzy wuzzy coffee". She was rather insistent, even when I explained to her that we only served regular, non-fuzzy or wuzzy coffee. After yelling unintelligible words at me, she screamed and ran outside.
My mind tried to figure out what the dude-in-the-suit’s thing would be. I was fifty fifty on whether he was high or exhausted. I grabbed the coffee pot and went over to his table. And, of course, he's sitting half bent over staring at the fake wood pattern surface. Nothing plugged in.
"I thought you needed to charge?" I said, regretting it immediately.
"I need to charge..."
His words slurred together, like a toy when the batteries are running low. His head dropped onto the table hard, making me jump back. That's when I saw the back of his neck.
So what happens next is up to you! I'm really looking forward to reading your continuations. 😊
As always, any resteems and upvotes will be eternally appreciated (but aren't necessary for the contest or anything). Let's spread the word and get writing!
Want to be a Beta Reader or get feedback on your writing?
The Beta group is an initiative by @freewritehouse to help writers prepare for publishing. Find out more here!
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I looked at the plug system in his neck, it was certainly bigger than a standard USB charge slot. In fact it look a lot like an electric dryer plug. Then it hit me where I had seen it.
"Henry, I need help out here, quick". I took a look in the parking lot, I didn't see his car but sometimes he parked out back.
"Damn-it Madge, how many times do I have to tell you call the co...", oh stuff it Henry, he ain't drunk. He came in mumbling about charging, I told him to take a seat, and then he flopped forward. Look at his neck will ya!", Henry leaned in and took a good look at the neck, he saw the plug and scratched his head.
"Damn, that looks a mighty lot like my car charging cord. I bet it would fit. What do you say, should we give him a power boost"?
"Yeah, I think we should, did you drive in today or get dropped off, I don't see your car"
"Taxi day I forgot to plug in again last night, but I got a spare cord in my locker, I'll go get it".
I lifted his head to take a closer look at his face while Henry was digging through his locker for the power cord. I swear he had a strange resemblance to Elon Musk, but that could not be, we all knew Elon despised AI in any kind of robotic body.
Hi @Zeldacroft,
Just wanted to show you how I reworked the story about public pool so you wouldn't worry that your prompt would be in any way plagiarized.
As I perhaps mentioned, I need the prompt as a springboard, to put myself in an unusual situation, where normally my imagination wouldn't go.
So thank you for those challenges.
Cheers
https://steemit.com/fiction/@mgaft1/the-swimmer-an-short-story
And here is my part... have a great week! ^_^
https://steempeak.com/@iamraincrystal/good-ole-pot-of-joe
Here is my entry for week #7:
https://steemit.com/wewrite/@free-reign/just-one-of-those-customers-wewrite-freewrite-week-7
Hi @ntowl. Congratulations with the publication of your book.
My wifi was willing and after trying twice I could leave you a comment.
Good luck with the series 👍💕
This is only about finishing the story not writing with two writers for..x.. minutes?
Now I am a bit confused.
🤔
Posted using Partiko Android
There are two versions of the we-write. You're thinking of the partner one where you find a partner and write for a set time.
I might add that kind back in soon, but for now it's the simpler one where everyone just writes the endings. It's still a collaboration, just everyone shares the same beginning. As for the time limit it's all self-imposed. Five minutes is fine, but some people like to write longer endings.
Thanks for explaining. For me this would be easier indeed with a slow connection as mine if I can load the story. Will see if I can join once now.
Wish you a great Sunday with live 💕
Come on...do you really want to create a soap opera out of this? )))
Since I have no idea what you mean I better not answer this.
Let me clarify this. A story is a literary work that encompasses several important structural components such as a theme, an idea, and some other ones, which are the reflection of a writer's outlook on life, the system of his or her values and convictions, his cultural roots as a prism through which he or she sees the world and what makes the world tick.
That's why two stories with a similar plotline could be extremely different in their writing style, the underlying idea and overall cultural impact. That relates to a short story and even to a greater degree, it relates to a novel.
In a story and even more so in a novel, the plotline is a device to expose the author's views, his esthetic, cultural, philosophical and often political position on the current issues or on the eternal issues.
The main difference of a soap opera from a novel and a story is its absence of any philosophical conclusion, of that prism that allows a reader to evaluate the writer's ideas and values. It is just one endless chain of the various plotline void of any underlying philosophical meaning.
The exercise that we do here is a fair challenge for a writer. The author of the prompt presents an amorphous (I think deliberately amorphous) writing sample with many embedded clues, allowing each participating writer to move the story in his or her unique direction. It's a springboard, an opportunity for each author to develop his or her own vision on the startup circumstances. Thus the resulting stories could be very much the creation of those authors.
However, once we have five-minute writeups by different people, it never adds up to a complete story and becomes just a writing exercise voided of any meaning. In other words, it becomes a miniature soap-opera.
That's all I wanted to say.
Cheers!
Okay, thank you so much for explaining now I understand why you made the remark. You gave me the idea it was wrong to finish the story (although you do it with @bananafish).
Might be the 5 minute freewrite can not be a complete story but that all depends on how you work or... think.
If you start writing after you read the prompt you probably write about the first thing you think about. You will not if you read the prompt first, write later if you have time... it gives the time to think out the story already and you just need to type it down.
Happy Sunday 💕
Happy Sunday to you, sweetheart!
I have no problem with finishing the stories. I do this all the time. For that matter, there is nothing wrong with participating in Choo Choo trains as well.
I just saw samples of your writing and think that you are completely capable of expressing your own ideas and standing up for your own values.
Cheers!
Well, I wouldn’t say that a five minute freewrite has no meaning 😉 In many ways the we-writes are really meant to be a fun exercise. Don’t get me wrong, I love a long story when it’s done well, and definitely appreciate the effort that goes into longer endings. But not everyone might have the time to write one, and not every piece of writing needs a philosophical or deep meaning. Short endings/continuations have their merit, too 😊
As a side note, I don’t think the prompts are “amorphous”. I do have to be open-ended to allow writers more freedom in their endings, so my aim is to create a situation with characters that people want to elaborate on. Still characters I wrote, mind you, but I try to cut the story at a point where it could go in different directions. Launching into a bunch of backstory or personal opinions probably wouldn’t make for a fun prompt 😅
Well, I don't think freewrites are a crime in any shape or form. In fact, a freewrite could become a complete literary piece.
My contention is that if we extend the prompts to a Choo-Choo train, let's say of 5 extensions of a story one after another one, then it cannot be a complete story as it will become a mixture of different writing styles, convictions, and philosophical views. This type of assemblage could, in my view, only be maintained on the plot level. In other words, it will become a mini soap opera. Actually, there is no harm in soaps as well. It's just not my cup of tea.
As for prompts being amorphous, it is in no way a derogatory evaluation. They should be amorphous and ambiguous as far as the theme and idea of the piece is a concern because they should allow multiple possible developments by writers of a different background, cultural values, and philosophical stands.
So you are cool and thank you for those challenges!
Hello @freewritehouse and @zeldacroft
Here begins the end of the story,
by @victoriaxl
I was stunned, almost paralyzed with astonishment, a feeling of fear invaded my being, I could not believe what I was seeing.
However, I drew strength from my trembling legs and, lying on the tables, ran to the kitchen where Henry was the night cook, when he saw the pale and confused expression on my face, he reacted somewhat nervously because he had never seen me like this before.
Many thoughts crossed at lightning speed through Henry's mind trying to imagine what was happening to me.
As soon as he could Henry asks me what happens to you ?, I stuttered trying to explain, but it didn't leave my astonishment, I finally managed to say with a lot of effort! It's an android!
Yes, the man in a black suit with a white shirt and a blue tie, he was not a doctor tired of his 24-hour run, he was a perfect android of the same that we see in science fiction movies, his battery had run out, such As he said when he arrived at the cafe, he needed to recharge, he had reached the critical level.
We tried to connect it to the electric power source, The Charged Up Café did not have the appropriate devices so that an android of this nature could recharge, that is why it was not connected to any plug and the reason why his head collapsed hitting Strong on the table.
That night The Charged Up Café did not die, but the end did come for the unusual client that surprised us, the droid that night died.
Until a next entry.
Victoria
#wewrite #freewrite #steembasicincome #contest
My Entry: https://steemit.com/wewrite/@sarez/energy-drink-my-short-story-for-we-write
https://steemit.com/wewrite/@mgaft1/we-write-7-the-customer
Here is my submission:
https://steemit.com/wewrite/@aduragbemi/we-write-7-or-or-almost-human