How to ask for what you want?

in valuation •  9 months ago 

How to ask for what you want?


My dad always said to ask nicely for what you wanted. I said “what if they say no! My feelings will be hurt!” My dad replied that No would hurt, but only for a few minutes or seconds, but Yes would make feel good the rest of the day or longer, depending on what I asked for...”.

I think it’s not as simple as asking nicely for things anymore, but knowing how to ask for things is important and probably determines our success. Certainly manners and tact are important, but I think there are other things that help as well. I read an interesting article yesterday and I wanted to share it with you. It was on this website called Stand up for success.

Follow These Five Steps to an Effective Ask

Here’s a process that will prepare you to ask for what you want. (I’ve carried through with the example of asking for a raise, but the process is equally effective when you want a promotion, an exciting assignment, time off, better working conditions, or help from your family with household chores!)

  1. Know Your Value — What do you bring to your company or team that they would otherwise have to do without? What have you accomplished for them? Can you put a dollar figure on the clients you’ve won, the time you’ve saved through good management? Even intangibles like increasing team morale can sometimes be quantified (“our team lost only one member last year; the other teams all lost two or more”)
  1. Do Your Research — What do others at your level, in your field, get paid? How fast have others in your company been promoted? Are you being fairly compensated (often, women and people of color are not)? Should you be making more than others, because you supervise more people, manage more projects, or have special expertise?
  1. Develop Your Strategy — You know your manager! Are they best approached at 8am on Monday morning? Over drinks on Thursday night? After a difficult project has wrapped? Should you make an appointment, or have a casual conversation? Do they need time to process, or pressure to decide? And WHAT is the argument that will win them over? (To answer this question, think about The Four Public Speaking Personalities.)
  1. Plan Your Speech — Don’t leave this important conversation to chance! Work out what you’re going to say (perhaps using the Instant Speech format), and then…
  1. Practice, Practice, PRACTICE

You’re now ready to prepare an ask.


What do you think?


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Hi @shortsegments, I featured your article as one of the top 5 articles I reviewed, curated by @project.hope. Here is the link to the article review:

Thank you and I will check out your project!

Thanks for the link. I will read the article.

Dear @shortsegments

Another great choice of topic.

I remember that when I was younger I was afraid to hear "no" as an answer. I was afraid of confrontation whenever someone is saying "no" to my values, ideas, goals.

Somehow during my life I've learned that hearing "no" can follow with tons of valuable feedback. One just need to know how not to take "no" personally and need to know how to listen.

Hearing "no" can become an amazing lesson to learn and process.

Thx for sharing this article. Good read.

Will upvote once my vP will reach 100%.
Yours, Piotr

Hey @shortsegments, here is a little bit of BEER for you. Enjoy it!


  ·  9 months ago (edited)

Thanks @shortsegments
Very good tips for everyone

@tipu curate


!glyphy good + job
Thank you for the good explanation

Posted using Partiko iOS

Ask and you may not receive, but not asking guarantees it.

Funny, but true. Ironic how simple solutions to problems work best.

Resteemed already @shortsegments. Full upvote on the way :)

Hi @shortsegments

Wow. Excellent advice. The wisdom of parents will always be passed on to us and we are the ones who can follow that legacy.

Know how to ask without begging or in a polite manner, but with great ownership of what you ask for.

Only two options of answer the one that will be favorable with a yes, and the one that will hurt with a no.


Thank you are quite right, one must always from a position of strength.

Hi dear friend @shortsegments.

When we think about asking or requesting what we want, perhaps our first thought leads us to a passive and submissive attitude. But in these fast times that we are living this attitude must change, it must evolve.

These tips you give us are totally valid, but I think we should add a touch of topicality and modernity to get the recipe we need.

What do I mean?

Taking these tips into account, we must add a proactive attitude and total positivism, where we must ask ourselves that "we will not accept a NO as an answer".
In this sense it would be worth knowing a little about the interlocutor's psyche and taking a step forward.

Sounds like a hoax? I may have a bit of that, but the end would justify the means.

Your friend, Juan.

It's difficult, but it's the modern way.


Funny that you put value first. Have you heard of the term IoV (Internet of Value). It is being used to describe a blockchain based Internet.