It's a common and often closely held belief in our world that we "should be happy."
Of course, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy! Happy feels good! Happy... well... makes us feel happy.
Light on the water
When we Objectify Happiness
Consider, for a moment, times when you feel really happy.
For me, it is when my cat comes and curls up in my lap, purring, when I am watching TV. Or when I have cooked a new dish, and it turns out really well, better than I had even hoped for. Or when my kids come to visit me for the weekend. Or when I finished a really good piece of artwork. Or when I walk on the beach with my husband.
You can come up with your own list, and consider this small exercise.
When you look at the list, what do you see? I'm willing to guess there's a very high likelihood that your experiences of 'being happy" are fairly brief and fleeting moments, not a constant state of being.
What I have learned from talking to thousands of counseling clients over the past couple of decades is that the potential downside — and sometimes actual source of DEPRESSION — to being "in search of happiness" in our lives is that we end up trying to find a permanent version of something that's a temporary emotion!
And it simply doesn't exist!
And so, we end up frustrated, maybe stressed, maybe feeling like something is seriously wrong with our lives, maybe even seeking counseling and being advised to take mood enhancers for our "depression."
Evening light by the ferry dock
Side Note: Those "Happy People from Denmark"
You have possibly seen articles and commentaries about how people from Denmark (or one of the other Nordic countries) are found to be The Happiest People in the World.
I happen to be married to someone from Denmark, and even though my husband has lived in the US for decades, we have occasionally talked about what's behind these studies, and their findings.
He insists — after also consulting with his relatives, who still live in Denmark — that the whole concept is pretty silly. Danes aren't any happier than anyone else. That the "happiness" described in the studies is really more like a sense of "life contentment and well-being" than actual happiness as most people immediately interpret it.
Then he points to Denmark's fairy high rates of both alcoholism and suicide.
Forget About "Happiness," and Focus on Something Else!
In the vast majority of cases, this sense of "happiness" we seek is more likely a bi-product of feeling like we have a measure of control and security in our lives.
What I often tell my clients who are struggling with this issue is to focus on removing stress factors as well as toxic situations and relationships from their lives, to whatever degree they can.
Think about where you are focusing your energy. If you are repeatedly doing things — or finding yourself in situations — that cause you distress, work towards changing those, and it is likely the desired happiness will follow, as a result of not having to deal with them.
And remember this: "UN-happiness" tends to be just as temporary and transient as happiness. The problem is that we get bogged down in ruminating on the negative, sometimes to such an extent we forget the positive!
Thanks for reading and have a beautiful day.
Bright Blessings to all!
(This is post VI in an ongoing effort to raise funds for the White Light Express to become a legal 501-c-3 Non-Profit Organization, using UpFundMe and Steemit. Every upvote we get brings us a little closer to being able to afford the legal expenses to take this next step for our 18-year old organization! Thank you in advance, for your support! As of this writing, we have saved 219.927 Steem Power, 484.568 UFM tokens and 1.55 SteemPower Investment tokens via @spinvest. Totals updated with each new post!)
You are not alone!
(Graphic is our own)
The White Light Express Mission Statement:
Since October 2001, the mission of the White Light Express has been to offer healing and transformation through focused positive intention, meditation and prayer. Right Thought is the first step toward Right Action and consciousness. We believe that “holding the vibration” is a profound task and our divine destiny.
We appreciate you following us and upvoting if you feel moved to do so — we also really appreciate comments and feedback! If you enjoyed this post and think others might enjoy reading it, please give it a re-steem! We love you already, because across all the myriad beliefs we hold, Love IS the answer!
Support Rev. Sarah's work with the White Light Express by becoming a Patron of Supernatural Passport!