Life on LOCKDOWN - How to safely buy weed during lockdown

Life on Lockdown life tip #4

Buying Weed
For many, weed as a way of life and as essential as medicine is to others. With some sort of lockdown in most countries with very limited travel and possible fines given to those that are too far away from home, getting your weed has become harder. On both sides of the coin, dealers are not getting product and stoners that can find someone with something will have to overpay for it so be prepared for weed prices to increase over the coming weeks and be wary of dirty motherfuckers beefing up the weight of buds by spraying dirty shit like spray glue on them. This is something you should always be aware of but more so during weed droughts.

The Goal
To be stoned for all of the lockdown,

Smoking weed and being stoned for up to 12 weeks does sound amazing but be aware that to achieve such a goal, you will need to display disciplines such as setting daily/weekly smoking limits, resisting the urge to reply to your dealers txt's he sends to everyone when he's restocked and most importantly don't tell anyone you got shit. Your brother txt's you asking, you tell him your out. Your best mate of 15 years asks if you can spare him a few grams, fuck him. Your not getting it back for months if ever. Ordinarily, it would be no problem, I would throw 5 gams but desperate times and all that. Keep that shit to yourself and dont tell nobody, not even your kids.

Please remember that no lockdown will stop a stoner from visiting his/her/its dealer to get that sticky shit and lets face it, being stoned all day is pretty cool. Dealers, in general, are highly interactive with others and run a high risk of infection so i have made the stoners guide to getting your weed as safely a possible during the lockdown.

1/ Buy in bulk & limit trips
I would suggest spending as much as you can in one go for 3 reasons. First is it's cheaper to buy more, second is you are on lockdown and the chances of getting stopped and searched are highly increased and third, chances are prices are going to go up as time marches on.

2/ Get Protected
Remember that dealers interact with many people and mostly dirty people, so you'll need to protect yourself. Blue food gloves are a good start, a face mask is another great addition, you can use a rain poncho to protect your clothes and if you have welly boots, i would put those on as well. I would not care about looking like a dick, safety is number 1 here.

3/ Doing the transaction
When doing the deal please remember social distancing. There are few different ways dealers do bussiness so i have tried my best to provide advice for everyone by splitting dealing up into 3 main types. There are 4, but if you have access to the 4th, you dont need this post.

• Out in the open dealer
  I would advise you to leave the money under a rock and tell the dealer where it is and to swap it over with the weed. If your dealer is not cool with that and wants a normal transaction, take a deep breath as you cross over the 2-meter mark, do the swap as quick as you can and get out of that 2-meter danger zone before you need to breath again. If your deal coughs, bail.

• Drive-by car dealer
  If your dealer arrives in a car, stand 2 meters back, roll your money into a ball and throw it into the car, your dealer should respond with a WFT look and drop your weed onto the ground below the car window before driving off. A dry day is better than a wet one.

• Deal from home dealer
  This is the highest risk of deals. If you are forced to go to a dealer's premises, conduct your business through the letterbox and make it quick as possible. If your dealer insists you enter the house, tell him you're in a hurry and try to conduct your business in the hallway and get out of there in under 1 minute. If your dealer coughs at all, bale and get out of there asap, forget the weed.

4/ Cleaning your weed before smoking it
As you have completed the deal, you will need to clean that weed before you can smoke. You have no idea who hands its been through. I find the best way to clean weed is to hold it in front of the hover and let all the germs and corona get sucked off. If you have brought resin, wash that shit with melted butter and dry it in the oven on it's highest setting. After the cleaning process, your weed is safe to consume.

The 4th type of dealer is the home delivery dealer. If you have this option, i assume you can pay with a mobile app and your dealer literally puts it through your letterbox meaning you only have to walk to the front door. I would still advice cleaning before taking as a precaution

I hope that this post will help a few people to get their weed safely during this time of weed shortages and limited travel. As time goes by i would think things will get worse before they get better. Please ration out your weed to make it last you, don't forget that cleaning out an old grinder can unlock a few spliffs worth of keif and taking second hits from bongs is nasty but economical.

I personally have access to a home grow that overproduces so im not really giving a fuck. All the shit i smoke is organically grown and with love so it's super tasty. I would not say i have an unlimited supply but i have more than i can smoke in 3-6 months, much more. I consume around 1-2 grams per day, not that much as i mix tobacco with spliffs.

Anyways, smoke on, stay safe and stay stoner (when possible)