Changing the past
This is my post for #freewriters Tuesday prompt emerald eyes hosted by @mariannewest
My eyes are green but I would not say that I have emerald eyes.
Have you ever looked back on your life and think if you could would you do things differently? I would like to think that I would BUT there would be a price to pay. How do you choose which choice you would have done differently? If my Dad would not have made me quit school after the 9th grade would I still turn out to be a fisherman or would I have gone on to college and become a teacher like I thought I wanted to be?
If I had not gotten pregnant at 16 would I still have my daughter with the most beautiful emerald eyes? She has people stop her from talking just to tell her she has the greenest eyes that they have ever seen.
Would I have married because I was pregnant? If not, would I have had a son that has brought me so much joy? So many what-ifs. If I change one of these things my life would be so different.
There are things that I would change, I would tell my youngest brother with the emerald eyes who has passed away not to go to work that day, he was unloading 3/4in plywood from a train and the metal band broke sending the plywood on top of him.
I would tell my mother not to take my oldest brother to the hospital where he got combative with the orderlies and they beat him to death.
There are many more things that I wish I could change but that is for another day.
This stuck a chord in me. I find myself contemplating the past a lot and wondering much of the same. If the delicate threads of fate were woven differently, how would the tapestry have turned out? If I could alter them how would I?
I like the idea of changing the past up to a certain point. I'd be afraid of losing my wife and the life we have together
great post, very thought provoking. Sorry to hear about your brother.. how utterly tragic.
thank you for reading my freewrite and such nice words. It is something I have wondered about and have decided that we can not go back and change anything because one thing could change everything.
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You have the most interesting life of anyone I know. Loaded with trauma, but here you are today loaded with grace. I am so happy to have come across you. Great freewrite.
Thank you, my head is swelling with these replies. I never thought of my life being interesting, I guess it is like my childhood I never saw it as anything special but now that I am older and see how most people live, growing up at a campground on an inlet was an awesome childhood.
I agree with what @owasco just said. You have had an extremely eventful life, not all fun and games, but here you are, catching fish and living fully. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if we hadn't moved the times when we did, or if I'd made different decisions. We could make ourselves crazy thinking about it too much. So I try to just focus on the good that has come from the places I've been, the people I've known, and the decisions I did make.
Well said!!!
Thank you, we can always dream of the what-ifs. Yes, we can not dwell on our mistakes and keep our sanity.