Tall Dark and Handsome

in #hive-1611554 months ago (edited)

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"Bigfoot was my lover..." Barbara randomly commented in a senescent warble across the table instantly pausing the dinner party host's monologue and causing the other guests to raise a quizzical eyebrow or two.

"Damnit Barbra! He was not! " Barry barked slamming his hand down onto the table hard enough to rattle the dinner ware and glared trembling with fury at his wife's outburst. "Now for the last time will you stop doing this at every dinner party we're invited to!"

"But he was!" She insisted with a half vacant wistful look in her eyes.

"Um Barry? Is your wife not feeling well? " Nancy asked with the cultivated politeness being the head council woman to the town for 20 years embued in her.

"I don't know what's gotten into her - "

"Bigfoot!" Barbara blurted interrupting him.

"Oh my!" The councilwoman exclaimed putting her hand over her chest trying to mask her shock.

"You really should see doctor Harjani and make an appointment he could probably get her diagnosed" Henry offered smirking at the situation as he stabbed at his plate and forked more mashed potatoes into his mouth.

As Barry thanked Henry for the recommendation, Barbara's attention wandered towards the window and her eyes lit up gleefully. There he was just outside the window and looking every bit as handsome as she remembered.

Bigfoot pointed at her and then began to lewdly thrust his hips with a huge grin on his face.

"Oooh..." Barbara cooed as she stared.

"Barbara dear. Would you like a tea? Perhaps that will make you feel better?" Nancy offered.

"He's here! My tall dark and handsome!" She said pointing at the window.

"Don't be rediculous ." George, Nancy's husband chimed in. " There are flood lights on sensors in the yard. Theres nobody out there. " He continued, noting the darkened yard and empty window.

Barry buried his head in his hands and began muttering about how humiliating this all was.

"Let me get you that tea Barbara. I have some Earl Gray." Nancy got up from the table and headed toward the kitchen.

Barbara's head lolled back towards the window and began giggling. Bigfoot was back. This time crudely gesturing and poking one finger into a circle fashioned with its other hand while nodding enthusiastically.

"Yiieee!" Barbara squealed happily bouncing up and down on the chair clapping.

"Er...ah. I think we better get going now." Barry cleared his throat tood up from the table. "Come on Barbara"

"Call doctor Harjani" Henry shouted through his full mouth as he watched Barry try and coax Barbara towards the door.

"Um. Yes. First thing in the morning. " Barry said flustered.

"Bigfoot knew how to treat a lady. " Barbara bit back as he pulled her by the arm out the door and into the driveway. "Like a real man!"

"As I recall, he brought you right back no less than than thirty seconds after you weryou were snatched off the veranda and promptly promptly dumped you on the porch! Now get in the car." Barry growled as he marched her by the arm toward their car parked at end of the now fully lit driveway.


Barbara had laid in bed staring at the ceiling a good hour listening to Barry snore next to her wondering why nobody believed her when a faint tapping drew her towards the bedroom window.

Bigfoot flexed one of his arms and pointed at it with the other. Then he began flicking his tongue suggestively.

"Oooooh". Barbara clucked almost too loudly as Barrys snorted and stirred in his sleep momentarily.

Holding a finger to her lips she shushed herself and looked back at the window wide eyed and smiling. Bigfoot was still there making more lascivious gestures.


Barry and Barbara are at it again. Thinking of making them an ongoing series. Hope you enjoyed the read.

  • hidave

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Great opening line - it got my attention! At a dinner party, "Bigfoot was my lover."

"I don't know what's gotten into her - "

"Bigfoot!" (has gotten into her, LOL)

"Oh my!"

But this lascivious big furry dude outside her window: eww, he doesn't do it for me. :)
We shall see....

Well I'm intrigued! Disappointed that there was nothing more to read!
I look forward to reading more.