I am refraining from nagging and it is actually a lot easier than I thought
Today my middle child who has been displaying extreme bouts of middle child syndrome got the best of me.
I was in the middle of telling her that her decisions were affecting the whole family and putting our safety in danger (not an exaggeration!) when my oldest caught my eye and said:
"Mom, you're yelling."
"I'm not yelling!" I responded. "I'm just talking loud."
My oldest laughed and said: "Mom, I'm pretty sure that's the definition of yelling."
To which I responded... nothing.
While I did not think I was yelling at the kid (I was sitting down, the child being spoken to was not cowering at my voice, I was not gesticulating with my hands or trying to intimidate with my tone) I was able to recognize that I was indeed, nagging, loudly.
I sent my oldest and my youngest outside to get some exercise, so the middle child could have time to herself.
Then, I practiced some mindfulness, and stopped my talking.
I realized that no amount of telling her was going to get her to listen
So I stopped.
And that is how one stops nagging. They simply stop talking.
The lack of my speaking really confused my child. She stared at me while I pursed my lips and put my hands together.
In my head, I was thinking you already did the talking, now she needs silence so she can do the hearing
She had a hard time by herself while she could hear her brother and sister enjoying themselves, and I don't think she was able to grasp that she was given time to think, but she was able to grasp that she was having quiet time while everyone else was having fun.
Instead of telling the 7 year old what she can do differently, I am changing the environment. I am limiting the tv to one hour, and we are watching kid movies instead of shows. I am lowering their sugar content significantly. I am serving dinner earlier. I am making sure they get plenty of exercise. I am being more mindful and spending more time with them.
It sure is a lot more work, but I am already seeing the results of happier kids, and I am hoping that my better decisions are contagious.
If not, we have a whole lot of quiet time in our future (and lots of other suggestions that moms in the information age have at getting their kids to get ready faster and be more mindful of their safety and surroundings.)
No talking means no nagging
Actions Speak Louder than words
No Spanking, No yelling, No nagging
Want to see my other post on nagging? Here it is