Grow in the dark

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If we were to write an autobiography I believe that most of us would submit the hardest parts of our lives as evidence as to what shaped us to explain or excuse our behavior. I think that humans tend to learn much more from the negatives than the positives and this is probably why loss has twice the impact of gain on our emotions.

But, our experiences as individuals can't be compared to that of any other as even when identical, the variable factor that holds the most significance isn't the event, it is how we feel about the event. While one person is victimized, another can be empowered - and this can be polarized even under the most horrific and traumatic circumstances, like as a prisoner in a Nazi death camp. Personal victimhood or survivor status is an accurate determining factor of later life.

What I question is whether we have lowered the bar much too far when it comes to what qualifies as hardship to the point that what raises our emotions to feel victimized is much lower than in the past. Will the autobiography of coddled children speak of the hardship and trauma of having to go to school with the shame of carrying an iPhone7 instead of a 10?

I am grateful for the life I have been fortunate enough to be born into despite having a myriad health problems from a teen that affect me greatly still almost three decades later. I am glad I was bullied as the coloured kid at an all whirmte school by children and teachers. I am glad that my family had a lot to be desired when it came to being a family in do many ways.

The reason I am grateful is that without these experiences, I wouldn't be who I am today and while perhaps I would be better in other ways, I do not think a life of ease develops compassion and resiliency and likely fails to build a toolkit that enables us to cope with a full life. No life is going to survive unscathed from facing various kinds of adversity and if one doesn't have the skills to deal with failure, loss, cruelty of humankind and the random acts of nature, life is going to be a hard ride.

I think that a great deal of my ability to carry on regardless of conditions is because when it comes to what I face today, I have the sense that I have survived worse and therefore, I back myself to be able to do it again. While I might fail, I have also survived failure also, as well as senseless cruelty and nature's roulette wheel that has left me oftentimes physically crippled.

While we as humans eternally seek the smooth lit path going forward, the road that has taught us the most in the past is likely dark, twisting and filled with obstacles. We are all here though, despite what kind of road led us and while some are bitter and twisted from life, others are optimistic and grateful.

Attitude matters and when it comes to determining how we feel about the life only we alone can experience, the choice is ours as to whether we carry the past as a burden or a lantern.

Taraz
[a Steem original ]



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Two points really stood out to me:

  1. What I question is whether we have lowered the bar much too far when it comes to what qualifies as hardship to the point that what raises our emotions to feel victimized is much lower than in the past.

  2. Attitude matters.

The analogy about the iPhone 7 versus iPhone 10 is spot on. We need to have a attitude of appreciation and perseverance. Seems both are lacking for many people today. Thanks for sharing.

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We need to have a attitude of appreciation and perseverance.

Appreciation usually comes when something is earned, and perseverance when what is earned requires work one has to improve to complete. Success is cheap these days as the feedback from irrelevant activity makes us feel like we are advancing, even though nothing needs to be learned.

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I agree, it is through hardship that one grow stronger. Having it easy in life is not a guarantee of happiness!!
Just look at the happy homeless person and the depressed rich kid!!

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I have some sense that having it easy leads to a much harder life in time as a person becomes conditioned for the environment of ease, and that'll never last a life time.

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Will the autobiography of coddled children speak of the hardship and trauma of having to go to school with the shame of carrying an iPhone7 instead of a 10?

😂 yep. I am distraught about still being stuck with a 5s. The shame.

I remember my dad telling me, if you are living off more than a bowl of rice a day and don’t need to walk 10k for a glass of water, then you are good.

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I had an amusing moment of synchronocity earlier as I was reading this at our centre when a child I know started chatting with me and they were telling me about how a movie "ruined my life" and made them hate all movies in that genre and I commented that kids' lives are ruined by the weirdest things, causing one of my older friends to chuckle in agreement, and the kid to sheepishly agree XD

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Kids don't understand that there are only three things that ruin lives. Teach them the three Ds. Drink, Drugs and Dames - they all start off so much fun... ;D

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