Universal Law Says That If You Buy A New Board, There Won't be Any Swell

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This week has been a surfing week. We might live near the coast, but not all weeks are surfing weeks. Work, wind, swell, tides - so many things can disrupt the dream of surfing every day. But then some weeks just come together and before I know it, I realise I haven't showered for a week, my hair is encrusted with salt and my muscles are aching, and I've likely got a few injuries from falling off my board or overdoing it. I love surfing weeks. I don't think of much else but the smooth roll of the ocean, and it seeps into my dreams so that I have a sensation of movement under me even when at rest. I bounce out of bed and whilst hubs is rubbing his sleepy eyes wondering who's stomping around the house pre-dawn, I have the kettle on for a take away cuppa and the keys in my hand begging him to hurry up already.


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Local surfbreak, Victoria

We're meant to be back at work this week too, or we would be if we hadn't taken a year off. As luck would have it, we have had a good swell and offshore light winds - perfect for our local break. From Monday to Thursday I had 3 hour sessions, resulting in me limping up the beach happily. In the water, I feel no pain. Out of the water is a different story - elbow tendonitis, achilles tendonitis and a sore knee. I feel like an old woman sometimes. Hubs tells me to take it easy but I'm not entirely sure how to do that, and I staunchly believe that saltwater heals everything.

Today was smaller and quite windy, so rather than take out the stand up, I took out the mal - it's a 9'1 board shaped by a local shaper called Ashley, who's since retired and given up shaping. I used to ride shortboards and mals before getting on the stand up, but after learning to SUP I had so much fun I didn't want to go back to ordinary boards. My SUP is an 8'3 All Wave Fanatic - it's super easy to throw around and turn, riding like a short board, and I get tons of waves on it. However, there's so many girls on longboards these days I've been tempted to relearn. Maybe they might even talk to me - there's a bit of snobby attitude with some surfers about SUP, which is kinda funny, as the old hierarchy used to get annoyed about longboards. There's a few girls I talk to that have asked me to go longboarding with them, and each time I decline in favour of the SUP, but I kinda wouldn't mind hanging out with the grrrls having a laugh. I'm going to need to practice to catch up though - it's been years since I've ridden one and my muscles are all tuned for paddleboarding. I tend to jump up and wonder where my paddle is - it's the paddle I used to speed up, slow down or even turn and balance.


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As I was waxing up, my Dad, Uncle and his mate rocked up in the carpark too. Being all retired and all over 70, they can surf whenever they like, but they don't last longer than about half an hour in the water these days. Dad's got two fractured hips due to his chemo treatment weakening his bones, but he should be in for a hip replacement soon, now he's got the all clear. I was surprised to see him there as he can barely walk and is taking a lot of painkillers just to deal with it. But he thought he'd go out for a paddle anyway - literally paddle and ride on his belly. I was stoked - I miss being out in the water with my old man. You have to remember that my whole life has been revolving around the beach and surfing. Some of my earliest memories have been on the beach waiting for Dad to come in from a surf. Whilst my sister wasn't interested, Dad got me hooked, even though I had a good few years living overseas and not surfing at all. Even now I float around in the ocean catching myself looking toward the shore for the familiar sight of Dad walking down with his board to the water's edge.

My red mal was okay, but it was weird standing up on it - my instinct these days is to use the paddle to stablise and propel myself and turn. Your muscles get used to the same repetitive actions, so as soon as I got to my feet, I wasn't sure what to do with myself when I was up! I wasn't as keen on the board either. There wasn't a lot of room for movement and it felt decidedly unstable. I ended up stealing Dad's board off him and took that out, which felt much more comfortable with the extra volume and thickness, though they're both 9'1. Dad's was half an inch wider too, and a bit squarer in the tail so easier to get waves, and it felt more stable whilst still having room to walk up and down it a little.

As we were getting changed, I noticed Dad sitting down with his wetsuit half mast, towel wrapped around his hips. He looked at me and laughed, slightly despairing. His hips were hurting too much and he couldn't take off his wetty. I had to go and take it off him, remembering the times Dad had done it for me as a kid when I was wailing that I couldn't get the wetty over my ankles. I felt so much respect for him, though his brother was teasing him and telling him he was too cripple to surf anymore. How hardcore is it to know something is going to be really hard, and is going to hurt, but to do it anyway? That's the pull of saltwater, too. Doesn't matter how old you are, how sick or how crippled - you still want that buzz, that feeling of cool water on your skin, the meditative, freeing feel of the ocean. Nothing comes close to it. I hope I'm still trying to get in the water when I'm 70.


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Dad's mal, bought when he thought he was going to die, because you only live once, right?

Last summer I was talking about buying a new mal, but was talked out of it. Realistically, I wasn't going to ride it that often, so it didn't seem worth the expense. But now, I don't know. Surely a bit of cash for a bit of joy is worth it, and if I don't have it, I won't ride it. Plus, it gives me a reason to do more yoga and exercise so my hip flexors are supple enough to bounce to my feet. I don't need to get to my feet on a mal as I'm already upright. I also get a bit jealous of babes on waves hanging out together and hooting each other into waves. They don't talk to me as I'm on a stand up - some weird hierarchy, even though I surf better than many of them and have been surfing all my life on this coast. Of course, there's a few that do, and they keep saying I should come out with them on a mal, so I thought that'd be fun too.


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Dad and my uncle, post surf banter. Sitting round chatting with folks is part of the surfing culture.

So, on the way to the morning cuppa with Dad and the 'boys' we went past Angelsea surf shop to see what they had. They have the same board as Dad - but blue. They're a little cheaper than online because they're seconds - usually a tiny fault in the spray or shape, something insignificant. I decided to go with the squarer tail as it'll be a bit easier to catch small waves on. I deliberated about the 9'6 for a while but these things aren't easy to carry, and it'd be a tight squeeze in the back of the van! I guess if I decide I want a 9'6 I can sell it and get another one next summer and only lose out a hundred bucks or so, as long as I don't ding it!

Dad sussing out the length of my new mal at the local surfshop.


My new board.

I also decided to sell my Ashley 8 foot mini mal. It's an awesome board and custom shaped for me about 15 years ago, but realistically I'm not going to ride a board that short anymore. I should be able to get at least half the money I need for the new board, so figure it's worth letting go of. It's just been in the shed gathering dust anyway. The tail needs a bit of fibreglass so it doesn't take in water but it's in good nick anyway and it's a great board for someone! I love the rasta colours on it too. Though I adore it, it's only a bit of nostalgia, and the money'll be good as new boards aren't cheap.


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We also looked at what other old boards we had in the shed - a couple of old paddleboards might fetch 100 bucks each. In the end the new board should only end up costing me a few hundred, and the rest will come from selling stuff. Unfortunately, I've almost hit the stage where I have nothing left to sell. The price of minimalism, huh?

As luck would have it - or perhaps some kind of surfer's law - there's no waves today. It's 40 degrees celsius out there and windy, and big storms coming this afternoon. Looking at the forecast, it might quieten down before sunset and I might get some tiny waves just before dark, if I'm lucky. At the very least, I'll just paddle it around for a bit and get used to that. It's going to use a different set of muscles than I use for stand up, so I expect to be moaning and groaning after the first surf or two!

Well, unless you're a surfer, none of this probably made any sense, save my joy at doing something I love. I don't often write about surfing, because I always feel it's a private stoke that I can't quite convey into words so that anyone would really understand it. I'd give up a lot of things to just surf every day, that's for sure. Not much has changed from being a 14 year old kid cutting up surf mags to stick on school folders to me writing about it here, dreaming of endless summers and endless waves.



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I went surfing once. One of my brothers was trying to teach me...It was on the Gold Coast and the waves were kind of big. Crashed and burned a few times...Yeah, surfing isn't for me.

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It's not easy to learn, that's for sure - you gotta persevere.

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Yes, so I was told...After I almost drowned, spat the dummy and vowed never try it again. 🤣

Actually it wasn't all that bad. Had another crack at Byron Bay a few days later...Managed to get up. I think the surf at the Gold Coast simply conspired against me whereas the Byron break took pity. 😁🙈

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A touching write about your father...sorry to hear about his suffering in these later years.

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Thanks lovely. He acknowledged he has had a good life and it could be worse. It's been hard, but he's circumspect about it - and is thankful for his fitness for getting him through it in the first place! The man's a legend.

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Sorry, that was me, @riverflows - bloody account switcheroo.

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HaHa... I know how easily that can happen...Another reason I just stick to this 'one' for now...

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No worries, I understand everything you’re talking about, although I’m only surfing since about 5-6 years. I was always into boardsports. Started skateboarding in the age of 13 and did it until around 25. I was also riding snowboard in winter. So it was only a matter of time until I start surfing.

I think you should definitely get back on the Longboard. I’m thinking about a mini mal as well since quite a while, but also in need of a new shortboard as it begins to fall apart. 😂

Surf in Ballina is pretty bad at the moment. I also never surfed here before and I’m a bit nervous because of all the shark stories from that region. Still here for another 3 weeks and hope it gets better.

Have fun with your new board, it looks great. 🤙

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Thanks! I'm pretty excited. A shame the surf's been bad up there and yeah, the sharks have been bad too so no wonder you're nervous! I heard a great story about a mate of my Dads who last week was surfing New Zealand and A SHARK BIT HIS ARM! It let go, and the teeth hadn't even broken the skin - it was a juvenile shark but still the guy kept surfing as he figured he'd already been bitten once and it wouldn't come back! Crazy.

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It is a shame but I guess pretty normal for that time of the year.

Wow that’s a crazy story and while it makes sense to stay in the water you still need some balls. I would definitely leave and thank god that I still have both arms.

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Totally!!!

How's this, was just checking surf online and their fave board for today is MY ACTUAL BOARD! Its a sign!

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haha true, same on coastalwatch.com.au. Must be a sign ;)

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(Edited)

I am mystified by a neighbor of mine who lives across the street in the building that looks like it belongs on a beachfront (it reminds me of buildings along the shore in New Jersey growing up), who keeps a surfboard on their balcony propped up so I can see it from my bedroom window.
I live in Denver, which is over a thousand miles from any ocean, lol.
I don't think any of the reservoirs or lakes are surf-able, but what do I know, maybe they are. :D

Serious question about wetsuits though: are they genuinely hard to get off? I was thinking (if I have the money some day) of getting one just for regular swimming because of my vitiligo - it would give me coverage so I wouldn't insta-sunburn.

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Yes, they are hard to get off!!! But not that hard, not unless you had any physical problems that would make it difficult to get off. I'm sure you can get some kind of thin swimming suit, like an all over rashvest?

Ha, maybe your neighbour dreams every day of the sea - or maybe he's just trying to be cool!!

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Oh thanks, I didn't actually know that rashvests were a thing! I just did a quick Google and maybe that's what I'll end up with. I'm getting more and more spots, but the biggest one is on my back, right in the can't-apply-sunblock-myself-with-any-thoroughness area. XD
Maybe neighbor is a surfer who transplanted here for work or something, and takes a roadtrip every summer. It just tickles me because in my state usually you see skis or snowboards. X3

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Glad you had a surfing week. It’s cool to read about your family surfing history too. Your dad is a great inspiration. As are you. I didn’t catch my first wave until I was over 50 but it’s never too late ( despite being told categorically by some dude that would be impossible for me to surf at such an age 😆 )
I love that you are taking a year off! I hope you find the time to keep posting the experience as it unfolds. Much love to you 🤗

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Surfjing is not something I know much about, so much of this was over my head. But I think it's cool you get to do what you love, and that your dad came out to try.

Cool about your new board, I love the colors!

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It's all about the colour, right? I'm sure the blue will make me go faster :p

Thanks for reading even if it made little sense to you. I'm lucky indeed!!

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What a dreamscape lineup!

The shot of your Dad and uncle really gets me.

Reminds me i truly live in the worst, ugliest, most crowded, hideous "surfing" place in California. Whew...

I'm just looking at the background behind your dad and dreaming of seeing empty space...

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Not a surfer but I understood your love for surfing and your father :)

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So happy to see you doing what you love!
What’s a wetty?

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Well, unless you're a surfer, none of this probably made any sense, save my joy at doing something I love.

Thats why I read it. Idk a thing about surfing except that I think there's water involved in the process somewhere, but it's nice to read about folks doing what they enjoy. :)

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