Timing the Markets with the experts

in hive-167922 •  4 months ago 

If you frequent the twittersphere, you might believe that there's a good chunk of would be professional traders who are masters at timing crypto markets and all. I often find myself reading through comments, attempting to find reasons why things go up or down, but up until now, I've never found anything valuable in them.

What experts?

There seems to be a formula to be a crypto trading expert, and it's not at all what any other market might have. I've broken it down to a few elements. Let's see if these make sense to you:

  1. Have a ridiculous name. Some examples/suggestions:

CryptoPoop, Scam-a-holic, SatoshiNinja, Cryptofungi, RektBTC

  1. Use an avatar that looks like you are still pre-pubescent if at all possible.

Cute baby animals are a good choice, but don't just stop there. You could very well use a poop emoji with a hat, and this is highly encouraged of course. The point is that you avatar is your fingerprint and it needs to stand out like a fart inside an elevator. If you are not making a stench online, you are nobody.

  1. Call everyone a scammer.

Very important, and something you musn't forget to do. If you are friendly to other avatars, you are a nobody, and thus not a single soul will take you seriously. I would suggest you start with low hanging fruit to begin with, but then move all the way up to Brian Armstrong from Coinbase, and CZ from Binance. They need to know you are out there defending the funds of the little guys.

  1. If at all possible, get good at making memes. As a matter of fact, this might be the best way of being noticed by all the noobies who are constantly entering the space.

No you are truly ready

Now that we've revisited all the steps you need to take into account to become a crypto expert, you might be wondering. Ok, but How do we time the markets? - and yes, I would not blame you for asking. But the truth is that you don't.

You see, you say you knew, you say you called it, and you got the memes and the tweets, and the posts to back it up. (Cherry pick the correct predictions to make your case). Double down on everything, and meme away... And then.... only then..... You will become a Crypto expert.


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