Breaking News: Tron acquires Golos // appoints @berniesanders head of new division

in #steem9 months ago

FOR-IMMEDIATE-RELEASE
Satirically Yours is pleased to break the news that @berniesanders has been appointed CEO of a new division of the Tron family. Tron has just acquired the Russian fork of Steem called Golos. We asked @justinsunsteemit about the decision.

Justin: "Well, we thought it was a good backup plan after softfork 0.22.2. If Steemians don't want to stick around to see the opportunities available through a partnership with Tron we're confidant we can arrange the same benefit with the Golos Chain. Tron is a 1.6 billion dollar marketcap coin. There's a lot we can do to elevate the Steem ecosystem in the aftermath of what appears to be Ned's purpuseful anniliation of Steem prices. We tried to get more details about what he'd been doing for the last 2 years, but he screened all of our calls from his recording studio. We've since focused all our attention on Golos."

When @berniesanders was asked about his plan he had this to say.

@berniesanders - "I'm pleased to announce this new partnerhsip. While all the spineless, weasely witnesses of the Steem blockchain were busy learning new autoerotic trantra from @jerrybanfield the real work of protecting the chain was getting done by me and Justin. With this partnerhsip we're sealing Steem's doom, pissing on all the disgusting and worthless witnesses, and moving beyond Steem to form a new Tron/Golos dynasty."

When asked about the plan for the new venture he desicribed how @ats-david would be serving as chief techincal officer and @jackmiller would be serving as the primary community liason role.

The new venture named TROLOS will function as a venture backed Steem front end in Russia for Tronics to interact with. @berniesanders says he's looking forward to developing the blockchain with new comrads in Siberia while he hopes everyone else on steem will enjoy eating his shit while dying.

Satirically Yours will stay on top of this story and bring you lastest news from Siberia!

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Lmfao.. I remember @jerrybanfield. That shit was funny right there I don't care who ya are 🤣😂

Can't believe he got one of my votes when first creating an account here. 🤓

  1. GOLOS has Fair DPOS now, voting power is divided to number of voted witnesses. No DPOS*30 situation.
  2. GOLOS has no pre-mined stake, it was frozen via hardfork!

Steem could learn something from Golos.

Golos people panicking in the background. Great post.

me LOLing in the background.

Thats fucking hilarious LOL

Finally, some truthful and honest reporting!!!
This interview was perfect, it was great, nothing to worry about, it was great!!! May the Sun shine bright orange!!!

The new venture named TROLOS

Portmanteau-pun game on point!

Haha cracker

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Wait where did this news come from? April Fools is still a month away from today

 9 months ago 

it's satire

what is this?

 9 months ago 

satire

 9 months ago 

So who has the original Steemit, Inc. keys on Golos?

null

good time for investment

I thought it was a real new. ;)

Which golos?
.io or .id?

Because if it is .id, I just don't know.

lol

The new venture named TROLOS

All trolls unite! 👍😂🤣🥳

TROLOS coin swap immediately, port all members to Tron! Tron community each get 100k golos for holding 1 tron

Satirically Yours will stay on top of this story and bring you lastest news from Siberia!

Manic Monday...

TROLOS... sounds like some trolling there. =)

There are several cheap forks available for those who want to save the chain.

Golos, whaleshares, bearshares, weku...

:)

When you come to a fork in the road, pick it up. It might be useful...

This ignorant user is spreading dangerous lies in order to attempt to gain popularity and attention from the new commie overlord. Ignore the ignorant twat bag, you'll immediately feel better about your life.