Sometime at the beginning of the pregnancy, I quit social media.
I didn't quit it for wellness reasons, but that's what ensued.
Of course, I am still socially connected. I have text messages, I am on whatsapp in two specific chat groups, one with lots of family members, and another one with all my cousins and my grandmother. I am also on discord, though my discord activity went down significantly.
My quality of life went up.
I do still spend a lot of time on the blockchain, playing games like holybread, steemmonsters, and drugwars. Overall though, my internet usage went down.
I found myself reading books again, having a much more neat home, having days that I go workout, and even having more time to meditate. The laundry monster is gone and has been replaced by a nice little laundry pet.
Then yesterday, on my whatsapp, I saw a screenshot of my cousin and his wife announcing to the world that they were going to be parents again.
"I am so cute that my parents decided to do it again." Read the sign with a cute picture of the little family in the background. Suddenly I found myself in guilt.
I didn't do a baby announcement
Instead, my middle kid begged me please be able to tell my dad, who "only" told his mom, who in turn announced it to everyone who would listen.
I didn't have a gender reveal party
I was so excited that I guessed right that I didn't contain it and let it slip to my oldest and my son (who cried cause he didn't want another girl) my other kid saw their reaction and knew, and there went the party...
I am not having a baby shower
I would rather spend my $$ on new windows...
The guilt started getting to me.
Am I not celebrating enough?
Am I doing it wrong?
Am I a "bad" parent?
Then I laughed at myself, and thought about my cousin who had the cute baby announcement on social media with the cute picture to go with it.
The truth is that even though his son is VERY cute, his son is also a tantrum thrower who loses it often. It's kind of funny, cause I have a bunch of kids, I know tantrums happen and they suck. BUT, them embarrass him and his wife and his mom so bad, that it becomes a thing, a big deal.
We just don't know how to handle it they explain to me as my sun squirms for attention next to me.
My cousin with the cute picture has his dad upset all the time because they rent instead of own, and don't live in the "right" neighborhood. Once they finally moved to the "right" neighborhood, his dad complains that he has to help them with rent "all the time."
My cousin with the cute picture, does his best, but sometimes forgets the Christmas gift exchange presents (so embarrassing, according to his sister in law), always has to leave parties early and in a hurry because they have other commitments, complains about his wife and her department store credit card balances, is always complaining that he doesn't drive the correct car, and worries too much about what people think.
I stopped feeling bad about my inadequacy and sent my cousin and his family lots of love.
Just because they do social media "right" doesn't mean their life is perfect.
And. If it was, shouldn't I just be happy for them? Why does their "rightness" lead me right into guilt?
Because that is what social media does to you.
And I am glad I got off it...