My 1am Thoughts on Socialization
All throughout my life, I have never shared personal stuff with people I never met before. Why? Cause I thought they would never understand how I feel. So I closed the thought of socializing and went to being an introvert who only talks to her close friends.
But that was when I was a kid.
When I graduated college, I happen to let myself and my doors be open to other people. Even if the process is slow, I was really trying my best to start a casual conversation with people I don't know. It slowly started in dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. Though your objective is mainly for "fun", but a part of me was just lowkey finding a new friend to talk with. Just share deep thoughts with.
I thought sharing deep stuff to them would just get them bored and don't give a rat's ass about you. Well, some did, but some did not. And those who "did not", are the ones you can think of "hey, this person is literally for keeps."
I have always been shy and intimidated when I speak to strangers especially if they're boys. I don't know why but it makes me damn anxious to even stare at them. A simple Hi would take a lot of GUTS for me to build up and do. It's hard. But, gradually, I have learned to talk to them casually and I've tried to do eye contact slowly so as to engage a more sentimental talk. When we chat or text, it's like, we've known for 10 years. I thank them for giving me the courage to do what I cannot do before. :)
So sharing my depression, my point of views, my opinions in life to them was quite surprising because, I thought they would never understand and would just judge me quickly, but instead, they didn't. Cause even they themselves feel the same way as I do. They too are depressed, sad, and anxious.
To all the new friends I met personally, thank you for befriending me.
To all the new friends I met here on the internet, especially in Hive, thank you for not judging me.
To more new friendships with you all.
