In Times When We Address The Most Rhetorical Of Questions.

in psychology •  last month 

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If you ask someone out on a romantic relationship and the person objects and refuses, do you still go ahead to be friends with them? I see this question as more of a rhetorical rather than rational or reasonable, the truth is that, communication is a problem especially in societies where people aren't sound in a particular complexity, Truth is i believe everyone has a tenacity to always guess what a gesture means, the true meaning behind a smile, the small things that doesn't seem like the huge sacrifices they are, but of course we often exhibit plausible deniability yo thinking like love, romance and dates just so as not to be in an awkward position of having to say yes or say no but in truth deniability leads to time wastage, it leads to regrets and sometimes it leaves a psychological scar and fear.

Truth is when friendship becomes something more there's need for a one party to define their goals, I've learnt that building a relationship before asking people out sometimes is the reason why people get hooked on alcohol or heartbreak. I think people understands that they need to evolve when it comes to matters of the heart but because of the sensitivity that comes with it, people are always stuck making the same mistakes over and over again, simply because sometimes we need to experience, in other to understand the magnitude of the lesson in earnest. Liking someone should be the basis through which you want them in your life. Sometimes the people we actually desire might not desire and when we understand this concept it makes us thread carefully when doing things like sending them a warm text, smileys, emojis and alluring birthday messages with deeper meanings

I'm not saying it isn't cool not to fall in love with a person, I'm implying that there should be a certain limitation through which you can allow yourself to be led. I believe people should lead their feelings rather than allow their feelings to lead them, it's easier to feel less heartbreak than more heartbreak and let me tell you why people go through a downward spiral when their advances are rejected, it's because they threw cautious to the wind, building up memories and connection and allowing themselves to be sucked up, let me remind you, people make up their mind about what they want from you the very first moment they meet you, this of course even if this isn't 100% certain, we need to let people decided if they want to be with us, simple things without deep connection would be great and if these people we're trying to impress to maybe Fall in love eventually says NO it'll make it easier to leave such experience with your sanity and mental state intact.

That said, love is beautiful but only when it's reciprocal, it's often ugly and painful when it isn't, firstly when you meet people you want in your life, try to communicate what you want from them through little gestures and nothing really serious and if they're intelligent enough, they'll see through your shallow advances and give you feedback either through bridges or building walls. However this mostly works in advanced human societies but in some other places there's the factor of plausible deniability that is, a person sometimes naturally sees your advances but then they deny the possibility in other to either take advantage of you. Sometimes people are lost with what they actually want and this makes it impossible to see you in a romantic light and loving this kind of people is often dangerous to the core. That said, don't be close friends with someone who you intend to make advances towards, so that eventually when they say no you might even continue your friendship with them by default without shouldering any pain. In essence love shouldn't really be a thing, I believe it there should be rational sensibility as to everything we feel and let's not think we're not in control of what we feel, we actually are, the only thing is we let down our resolve voluntarily. In essence we're what we are and we can't change our inbuilt features or characteristics but we can only be more better and sophisticated in handling precarious situations.



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My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian student who is a Dtuber, 📷 Psychologist, Poet And Sports Writer/Analyst. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off steem can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers


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