Friends with enemies?

in philosophy •  4 months ago  (edited)

It would be incredibly dishonest, or naive to be more accurate, to say that I don't have enemies. I guess in a way, we all do, but it's not as dramatic as we think most of the time. In other words, yes, there are people who don't like me, who might never like who I am, what I believe in, but this doesn't mean that everyone who disagrees with me is my enemy. It's my conviction that in that particular detail, in that fundamental change is where we've began to see social cohesion decay.



Of course I can only speak from my personal experiences. Everyone's situation is different and thus It's probably not fair to generalize. But, I've come to found that intolerance is most of the time a sign of poor character and lack of maturity. People who I would consider grown ups become so because they've learnt to deal with conflict, and thus found the best way to surf the waters of solutions. (when they can be found mind you).

It seems to me that if I can't be friends with someone who is different, with someone who is not a member of my "political team", religion or music tastes, that says more about me than anyone else. In other words, if in the name of goodness, of kindness, I refuse to be good and kind to people who don't think like me, It's likely that I'm just a virtue signaling hypocrite with a voice.

You see, fornication in the name of virginity, is just as logical as aggression and hate in the name of peace and love. It seems to me that socially speaking the lines have become somewhat blurry, and that there's a group, not a big one at that but nonetheless significant, that is waiting for the opportunity to be outraged and express their moral superiority via all mediums available.

I think I would find this to be comical, if it wasn't already quite sad. It's not secret that I'm a very liberal minded person, I truly believe in the live and let live philosophy, but I do have lovely friends who are conservative and I love them dearly. Yes, we disagree, sometimes the discussions get intense, but never in my life have I considered hating any of them, because it was my belief that they are dead wrong.

A great piece of advice given to me as a younger human was to never discuss religion of politics with friends. I think in theory it's all good and well, but in practice it's almost impossible. If we can't discuss the things we deem important in our lives, then we are probably not good friends after all.

My friends know very well where I stand politically, I make no attempt to hide my positions, and yet we remain good friends. I realize some would grip their pearls and tell me that I'm an idiot, that a true liberal would never befriend a conservative, but I beg to differ. My desire for happiness and wellness to humanity does not stop because someone supports I president that I don't support. If it did, I would be betraying my supposed ethos and diving head first into the paradoxical pool filled with concrete.

And with all that being said... I think that until the day we turn off the hateful messages that monetize our division, we won't truly heal. I just hope it happens as soon as possible.

MenO

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It seems to me that if I can't be friends with someone who is different, with someone who is not a member of my "political team", religion or music tastes, that says more about me than anyone else. In other words, if in the name of goodness, of kindness, I refuse to be good and kind to people who don't think like me, It's likely that I'm just a virtue signaling hypocrite with a voice.

great read

The truth is that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. On the interwebz, banning and muting are as close to this as is possible on most platforms, but on Steem we have flags. In the real world, every single human being alive disagrees with every other person about something. Society depends on restraint, and violence results from incapability to refrain from imposing on others. I have a very good friend in meatspace that I have learned a great deal from, but who is incapable of restraint on certain topics, which I have learned to simply not discuss in order to maintain our friendship, which I dearly value. You and I disagree on many issues, but I deeply respect your integrity and underlying purpose, which I value very highly.

"If we can't discuss the things we deem important in our lives, then we are probably not good friends after all."

Because I refrain from resorting to efforts to impose my views on you, I am able to learn from you, and your differing positions have enabled me to reconsider my own and change my mind. It is perhaps criticism I value most highly in discourse, and your differences from my own positions have been fundamental to helping me to become more factually correct. It is not out of some sense of superiority and benevolent tolerance that I do so, but humble recognition of my own fallibility, and a purely selfish recognition that you have much to teach me.

Thanks!

Some time ago an American Liberal friend of mine shared a picture of him and his wife on Facebook - they were in someone's house, smiling immensely, picture of Trump in the background. He immediately got comments on why he shared time in a Trump-loving house :') He just told them 'I love these people dearly but they have some different political views'. He then shared the photo again in the comment and replaced Trump with Obama :')

Loved the exchange.

Yes we can be friends with people with different views, I even think that might keep us more sane than if we only had friends who confirmed every thought we already have :-)

imagine if most people had your mindset Rosa.. what a world could this be.

I agree with you, my friend. Beautiful text and thoughts .... saved in my bookmarks to read eventually and show to others....

Have a good day fella. We are ONE. Cheers

what i like to do is getting into conversations with almost everyone that wanna talk. Then if i see that i am wrong i will simply admit it, the things that i lose by admitting that i am wrong are far less than those i earn. I am correct i will try with arguments to make the other person understand the essence of the argument without being aggressive.

If he/she gets it then at least we have a logical person that we can make many talks and become friends. If they don't wanna admit they are wrong, i simply move forward, try to avoid them and never let them get into my inner circle of people. I won't let them think they won though :P i wanna make it clear that we disagree :P

hahahahah you described my tactics...

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