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I am looking for an explanation of what the subconscious is, of how it works, of our conscious relationship with it, and more.

I think what really riles me up, is that our brain expels more resources to the subconscious than our conscious mind. So it seems to me like we(consciously) are missing out on so much!

I am curious to know what that is and if there is a possibility to access the subconscious somehow.

One approach to understanding the subconscious is to examine the "mistakes" it tends to make in other people.

My personal favorite is the amygdala hijack,

And bias blind-spot is a close second,

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The next piece of advice he gave to me was to not give comparative stories (analogies/experience in order to illustrate strategies/solutions). He said that people (neurotypicals) don't react well if you tell them you have been through something similar, the same, or worse.

Prior to that, I thought being able to use a personal example tied to a solution showed empathy, understanding, hope, and also provided some answers (but again people's reactions --for the most part to this had been negative/hostile).

I still find that sometimes, a (funny) story that relates to what they're saying can make them feel validated and understood and connected.

For example, I was speaking with a co-worker the other day and they were telling me that they'd received (minor) complaints about one of their managers, and when they asked the complainer if they'd said anything to that manager (or otherwise tried to do anything to fix the situation), they said they hadn't. "Can you believe that!?" they asked.

I responded that I remembered an episode of the Simpsons where parents are trying to deal with an unruly child and they exclaimed in exasperation, "I've tried nothing and nothing works!"

My co-worker burst out laughing, with a huge grin on their face, and nodded thoughtfully, "yeah, it's like I'm dealing with little kids!"

Eh, well, I guess I'm sort of doing the same thing again now (use a personal example tied to a solution)!

I'm glad you liked the (amygdala hijack) video, I find it interesting to think of the brain as a system of input-output relays and processors and sub-processors and co-processors.

For a long time I also couldn't understand why people did things like punch a wall (and break their hand) when they got mad (or even simply frustrated), but now it makes sense. It's because they've temporarily turned into an animal (lizard) and their cognitive function has been cut off.

I also thought this related to some of our modern myths.

Clark Kent is a mild mannered reporter, he wears glasses, he's smart and good-hearted.

But when there's a "real" problem, he turns into Super-man and (amygdala hijack) smashes things.

Bruce Wayne is described in official documents as "a tactical genius", "the world's greatest detective", and "an expert in physics and biochemistry and industrial engineering".

HOweVER, Bat-man still can't figure out WHY criminals become criminals in the first place and his "A" #1 preferred solution appears to be (amygdala hijack) face-punching.

For example,

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Unfortunately, it appears that your coworker missed the point/misunderstood. It was not that the complainer acted like the child, but rather that he acted like the parents of the child.

My description wasn't clear, the complainer was a higher-rank than the manager, they are responsible for multiple managers.

My general experience is that people (neurotypicals) become annoyed when one tells them they've been through the same/similar/worse thing in order to illustrate a solution. I feel that they act as though they wish to be the focal point more than they wish for a solution. At times it genuinely feels like they want anything but a solution.

Eh, it's a bit tricky.

I find that people generally want to be heard and understood, and convinced that they are heard and understood, and are not going to accept a simple nod of the head and an, uh-huh.

I try to think of a movie or television show that relates to their situation, or something from my experience, but I make sure to -immediately- place the focus back on the original speaker and not get lost on a tangent. They want you to hear them and care about them, but they don't have the capacity at the moment (understandably) to hear or care about you.

I've never had much luck with the "I can't imagine what you're going through", but I have heard that technique is the preferred form of acknowledgment for the recently bereaved or someone who's been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I'm imagining someone who's overwhelmed with emotion and appears to be barely present. Those are tough, but luckily not very common in my personal experience.

Perhaps "I can't imagine what you've been through" might be a preferred response to military vets who absolutely -hate- being told, "thank you for your service" (by civilians). They mostly try to be polite and hide their feelings about it (understanding there is generally no ill-will), but that statement certainly doesn't help them feel either heard or understood or cared about.

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Yeah, I have never been concerned about being validated or told that someone cares about me as I am trying to comfort them.

Eh, don't you? Maybe just a little bit? Don't you sort of want them to acknowledge and or appreciate your brilliant solution? Or hear them say something like, "heck yeah, you know what I'm talking about!"? Or even, "thanks a lot, I feel a little better now"?

I also wanted to mention, when you said, "they need to find their own solutions", it reminded me of a con-artist.

A con-artist knows that one of the most powerful hypnotic techniques is to address a person, by name (people love hearing their own name) and to interject a simple, "you're right!" at every available opportunity. And once their guard is down, they try to make subtle suggestions that lead the mark to believe the action (scam) is actually their own idea. Usually by asking the mark for advice or assistance of some kind.

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I am trying to bridge why this phrase "they need to find their own solutions", would remind you of a con-artist.

Something just clicked for me when I realized, as you pointed out, that people generally (but not always) don't like to be presented with possible solutions.

However, they do seem to like being led to a conclusion that they think is their own idea.

Have you ever tried to tell someone about what you thought was a terrible movie or television show or album and they ended up liking it? It seems like people are often more motivated to "prove you wrong" than to try and "prove you right". If they "prove you wrong", then they get the credit all to themselves. "Proving you right" does very little for their own self-esteem.

The only example I can think of where a person intentionally guides another person to a particular action while making the mark think it's their own idea is a con-artist. Reporters sometimes do this, "we report, you decide" and advertising/marketing/PR firms do this, "these happy attractive people like our product, but we won't actually promise you that our product will make you happier and more attractive, draw your own conclusions" but I would consider both of these con-artists.

I was saying that by helping them regain control it would be more impacting for them to also find their own solutions. (Like learning how to solve a similar problem the next time.)

Kinda like teaching people to think logically. Identify your AXIOMS.

I am not sure how effective it is to just hand people solutions. Do they become dependent? Do they still learn how to arrive at those solutions themselves?

I think some people can take a solution and generalize it down to its principles and apply it to multiple scenarios.

Others will test your solution blindly and if it "works" (or not) then they are more (or less) likely to ask you for more advice.

A con-artist also takes advantage of this tendency, often promising "double your money" on some "sure-thing" like a horse race, fully expecting the mark to make a small bet to test the waters, then the mark follows up with a larger bet, which also doubles as predicted, but watch out for the third bet, which is when the mark typically goes "all in" thinking their overconfidence is justified and instead, they get "taken to the cleaners".

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Hmm. My first thought is to say no. I believe that I have relatively little to no need for acknowledgment.

That seems prudent. It makes me think of someone who enjoys picking out a present for others, and doesn't need to see the look on their face (to vicariously experience their joy) when they open the gift. This is surprisingly rare. I only learned quite recently that it is very polite to open a gift in front of the person who gave it to you and make sure you express appreciation to the best of your ability, otherwise you are unlikely to receive additional gifts.

I know my effort and my intent. That seems to be good enough for me. I validate myself.

You know your intent? What would you say is generally your primary motive for interacting with others?

I am quite comfortable with aberrant perspectives/thought. I am quite comfortable with people dismissing my ideas/thoughts.

I think I get what you mean here, it seems practical to expect people to act like small children and cherry pick what they like and to be openly rude or silent if they don't care for what you're offering.

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Yes, I added it, I thought the con-artist stuff might sound a little strange (left-field), and I remembered this movie being a great illustration of how cognitive-bias and confidence (trust) building are (or can be) used. Plus, David Mamet, Ricky Jay and Rebecca Pigeon...

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Hi @akiroq
When I followed your profile back from your message on my post, I was initially confused about why you had so few posts ... until I checked your comments. It is good to see you bringing out your thoughts so that others can see them ... not just in replies to others.

I am afraid, I have arrived a little late to the conversation so am not sure if I have anything to contribute that will be of value. I have only two words that may or may not add to your thinking. Those two words are inhibition and cowpath.

Inhibition

Humans tend to operate exactly oppositely to the way we would believe. As a form of illustration, I assume you do not swear all the time. As a polite person, you have assumed the behaviour of not swearing in polite company. You inhibit your predilection to swear. Then you stub your toe. Your inhibition becomes inhibited and the air around you turns blue.

I mention this when it comes to your question about what the subconscious is. The subconscious accepts data with no filter. When your loved one says to you that you are beautiful, your subconscious internalizes that information with no filters. Meanwhile, your conscious mind questions that statement wondering if your loved one backed into the garage.

Cowpath

The human brain works in a way that is very similar to the way cows forage in a pasture.

Where a straight line might be the quickest way to a certain point, the human brain takes the path of least resistence. Over time these pathways become well established and well travelled.

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I did read in some of your replies your identification with Asperger Syndrome (or Autism). I actually had to rewrite a couple of times because I started to slant my conversation in that direction. Maybe I am a little blind when it comes to observing others' emotions or maybe because I just refuse to be held hostage by my own emotions, I am not particularly good in that area. I also came across the idea that people with AS-like (or autistic) tendencies tend to have mixed emotions about NT (neurotypical?) interactions. Bearing that in mind, I hope that if I inadvertently offend you, it isn't because of malice ... just ineptitude.

Thank you for bringing Kahneman to my attention. I have been out of the academic milieu for so many years, that most of my conjectures are vastly out of date. My cowpath analogy in my mind is a physiological vs cognitive representation. If there is a slight impediment in a pasture, the cow will go around it. In doing so this new path becomes faster as the grass is trampled by successive travels. In the same way, this might be happening in the brain. When we first learn to walk, the impulses can go in many directions. As we continue to experiment walking, the neural pathways become better defined. When a person has a stroke, the nerve impulses don't travel through the damaged areas but need to re-route to another pathway.

It doesn't require physical damage for a "cowpath" to occur. In the literature, I can see two contributing factors that our society has added to our environment: plastics and glyphosates. Plastics have a pseudo-estrogenic effect and glyphosates at bare minimum binds and removes minerals such as calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper, and zinc. Additionally, it mimics glycine which is an inhibitory neurotransmitter.
Estrogen is a factor in many functions but at certain stages of development positively affects verbal memory. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a consistent cognitive effect so possibly in people showing some form of autism might have better pathways in some parts of the brain and less so in other parts of the brain.

High IQ autistics can have worse impulse control problems than those with a low IQ. However, ASD patients with severe executive dysfunction issues have also shown some overlap with dyspraxia, or issues of motor control.
Source

As I said in the previous post, people don't understand how inhibition works. A good example is to consider people in a coma. In a coma, people assume a fetal position. It happens the opposite to the way that one thinks. There are conflicting muscles in the upper part of the arm. The stronger are the ones that curl your arm while the weaker straighten your arm. When you are in a coma, the body succumbs to its uninhibited state. In order to consciously strengthen our arms, we inhibit the stronger muscles so the weaker can do their work. Aside from removing critical minerals which each have their own consequences, the glycine mimicking effects of glyphosates inhibits inhibitions. Our brain inhibits most things. Everyone has the ability to recall. Imagine being able to remember every time you heard the word "the" and were unable to block those memories. We see "total recall", hyperthymesia, in people with atypical brain development often starting as they enter puberty.

I wonder if some of the aspects of autism are things that are normally inhibited are a case of the inhibition is being inhibited.

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I will watch Kahneman after I respond to you so I can do it justice. I disagree with the assessment that people exhibiting Aspergers or Autistic tendencies have a disorder. One doesn't describe Usain Bolt as being "lame" because he is able to able to run at 23.35 mph. (I am an old school Canadian so can describe things in both imperial and metric ... can you tell me your country so I can adjust ... for the present, I will assume the US). While he might be able to run very fast, maybe he has no sense of direction so is running the wrong way.

A person with Aspergers or Autism sees the world with a greater vision than a non-autistic person. Much like the ability to run, I think everyone is "Autistic" but not everyone has the same focus, and perception. I am sure that you can "run" faster than I can metaphorically as I can "run" faster than most people I meet.

To give you an idea of my background, I was one of those people described as a perpetual student. I went to university for ten years (1978-89). Unlike most people who would choose to go higher, I chose to go wider. I studied everything from A to Z (Apiculture to Zoology) with an unusual degree in Batchelor of Science in Agriculture, Economics and Business. I have additional areas of interest including Psychology, Computers and English. This just goes to show that only know enough in any topic to just slightly get into trouble.

I am also an INTJ which has many similarities with traits found in people diagnosed with Asperger's. I have read that the difference between the two is that INTJs try to get the big picture, while "Aspers" tend to get the details. That might explain why you haven't encountered my attempt at "present[ing] this perspective" before. An INTJ might attempt to describe why people are the way they are while a non-INTJ correctly deals with the daily nuances of what they are.

With that bit of background behind us, perhaps we can consider one aspect of autism - obsessive/compulsive behaviour. My thoughts are that by looking at some of the treatments, we could identify what is going on. One of the treatments is a drug called Clomipramine. It is also used for the treatment of body dysmorphic disorder. We have two separate conditions that are on the rise that can be treated by the same drug. This suggests there might be a common underlying cause.

Clomipramine is a serotonin reuptake inhibitor. As an analogy imagine you are going bowling. You have three balls to know down the pins and then there is a mechanism that picks up the pins ending your turn. Also, imagine that you could disrupt this mechanism allowing you to bowl more times. The mechanism is the serotonin reuptake process while the inhibitor prevents the reuptake to happen.

There is an association between estrogen and serotonin.

Estrogen boosts tryptophan hydroxylase which helps convert tryptophan to serotonin. What happens when our society is flooded with pseudo-estrogens? I suspect that they block the Tryptophan - Serotonin pathway giving people a deficiency.

Working under that assumption, I have been distilling my water for a couple of years now. Unfortunately, I am not detail-oriented enough to track down every source that this might be coming from.

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You are being astute when you say ...

I am not convinced that either one is on the rise. I believe rather that knowledge about Autism and OCD is on the rise. Plus, a lot of the new diagnoses are actually adults who were never diagnosed(earlier in life).

My son has a form of dyslexia which would have been undiagnosed 50 or more years ago. He probably wouldn't have been diagnosed almost 20 years ago when he was in school except he had been in French Immersion. He had been memorizing and repeating what other children had been saying when it came to recitation. As it was they didn't catch up to him until grade 4. At the time he was rated as having a grade 13 vocabulary but only had a grade 1 reading level. I was never amazed that he had a form of dyslexia, I don't understand why the more don't have it. Historically this would not have presented a problem as only a few people would have had more than a rudimentary training. It is only since the 1950s that our technology has required that more people have more than basic skills.

I don't really have an opinion on OCD, as I am unaware of it being a behaviour aside from a few eccentric people historically. As far as autism goes, I believe that while all people fall on the spectrum, there is something in our society that is stimulating the expression of more extreme behaviours.

Estrogen is believed to increase levels [of] serotonin.

Let me explain myself better.

  • Estrogen is part of a natural process that helps create serotonin. A lack of serotonin can sometimes contribute to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. .

  • Phytoestrogens might be able to supplement a certain level of production when natural production is low. For instance, Ginseng might have a positive effect on ADHD. Without getting too far down this road, it affects the dopamine pathways. Aside from the positive effects of estrogen, it is also is correlated with breast cancer (“estrogen-receptor-positive”). While normal amounts of soy products haven't affected women in one study, one early study ... soy supplements were shown to “switch on” genes that encourage cancer growth in women with early-stage breast cancer.

  • Synthetic Xenoestrogens such as Bisphenol A have been shown to be disruptors. They are seen to cause profligacy in some process but inhibition in others. At some point, Xenoestrogens can increase the growth of the endometrium, while at another it makes the uterine walls thinner and fragile. In other words, it doesn't supplement estrogen levels as phytoestrogens might, it interferes with proper regulation.

This is my conjecture. Xenoestrogens bind up the estrogen receptor sites. Like many binders, the body doesn't have the ability (maybe enzymatic deactivation) to dislodge these chemicals from the receptor sites. This would be like jamming a switch to an on position. There is an enzyme tryptophan hydroxylase that is activated by estrogen to convert tryptophan hydroxylase‐2 to serotonin. It also uses a cofactor iron in the process. Tryptophan hydroxylase‐2 is the rate-limiting enzyme in the synthesis of serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine, or 5HT).

My thoughts are that by jamming the on-switch too much TPH2 is produced ... inhibiting the production of serotonin.

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I've watched the video that you included in your post (Body Language) and while I knew everything that he said, I never put it consolidated it the same way. While reading your self-description, it made me think that aside for two things, I have Asperger's too. The first is that I am very funny (but that is just the way I walk) and my oddness is self-inflicted. During my life, I have made decisions such as "the not allowing my emotions to hold me hostage" rule that are just additional bricks in the wall. When I was in my twenties, I envisioned forming relationships as pulling down my personal wall to allow me to get closer to another. Over time I found it was no longer worth the effort. Now I think that I open windows through the wall but no longer make true connections. It probably is a social anxiety reduction thing. People see the clown but never know the clown.

As far as not seeing jokes, I have a cousin whom I can tell a joke to (with a straight face) and she believes me every time until the punch line. At least she gets it quite quickly. I used to love telling jokes to my ex-mother-in-law ... she would laugh three times. The first time when I would tell the joke; the second time when I would explain it to her; the third time a year later when she got it.

Why I relate to imperial over the metric system

Many aspects of the imperial system use a base 12 (dozenal) numbering system. In other civilizations, this was the one that they used. It was the numbering of the market place. If you hold count the joints of your fingers using your thumb, you are able to count to 12 on one hand. It is possible to divide 12 by 2, 3, 4, 6 while the decimal system is limited to 2 and 5.
With the weather, people are able to distinguish temperature acutely when it is within certain limits. For instance, a comfortable temperature is 72 degrees F (22.22 degrees C). A person is able to perceive easily the difference between 72 and 71 degrees F (21.67 C).

While the metric system is the one that is preferred by most people ... it was created by the French (I am joking).

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