pussy post (contains language that may be offensive and nsfw)

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(Edited)

you've all heard of a shit post. well this is a pissy pussy post. my personal bitchy rant. its long.


caveat: if you read this and become triggered, just shut the fk up and deal with it like a real man, please respond in a respectful adult fashion. if you cannot do this, feel free to stop reading. you may think whatever you need to in order to feel good about yourself. if you feel the need to comment, please speak out with civility and courtesy.

p.s. music courtesy of youtube is for entertainment purposes only. no really. listen to the songs...


this is a post about language bombs and troll baiting. its about the powerlessness we feel and the casual insults to our worth as human beings that we unconsciously accept. its about the passive aggression that we voice to others in the name of upholding our social identity. its about speaking out instead of silently condoning.



where is this coming from?

why do people feel its ok to to equate a womans vagina as something cowardly, weak or whiney when its thrown into chat as a casual insult, insinuating the undesirability and bad fortune of being a woman? not even a typical woman, but the most negative and insulting stereotype of a woman. yet the same word, pussy, connotes the ideal fuck, distancing the act from the individual, thus objectifying the female genitals and debasing women as people undeserving of respect or admiration.

theres a double edged insult in the word, yet we accept it socially, because if we dont we are labelled as uptight feministas. we act as if the implied message isnt really there, while claiming to respect women. we glory at calling our friends other insulting words that degrade women - cunts, whores, bitches, douches and occasionally, dicks, fags or assholes, ignoring the fact that it might offend more genteel individuals.



why do we do this?

we all know this kind of casual banter in chat. we accept it as standard. ya I know you think its funny. it is - until it goes too far. until it offends someone. then we laugh and try to blow it off, oh sorry, didnt mean to be offensive, was just fooling around. yet the damage is done.

we all know better, yet like naughty children trying to push the boundaries, we still use words as pruning tools, to weed out people who annoy us. we employ casual insults and sexist laguage, drop troll bait in chat in an attempt to stir shit, to shut others down. its a power play. we do it to look "cool" or win an argument before its started by offending instead of actually debating.

how do we respond?

did someone say something you disagree with? did you make fun of their fat ass, age, intelligence, body odor, whatever you think might shut them up? because thats "'murican as fk". high five ya you cool.... asshole.

dude it was ok when we were kids. because we didnt know better. we were taught as children that bullying is part of life, that some people are just assholes and we should not only accept the status quo, just walk away, don't make a big deal about it, "grow a thicker skin". or better yet, beat them at their game.

we act like it doesnt hurt when someone says something mean or derogatory, rather than mention something to the person who said it. instead, we blame the person who got offended by rolling our eyes and belaboring the annoying SJW, PC police, 'on the rag' virgin or uptight cunt who dared to tell us to grow the fuck up. really? I am gonna rethink that blame for you.



but tor! why you gettin so aggro? they were just having a laugh, no harm meant...

don't get me wrong, I love teasing people myself. I love witty repartee. If I step on your toes by accident, please let me know. at the same time, try to be aware of the language you use oh so casually. look for the hidden bombs that set people off.

imho, people who dis other people for a laugh are immature. back in grade school, people used to bully me for stupid shit. not brushing my hair. having clothes that didnt match because we were too poor to afford new. my lack of coordination, awkward social skills, and a last name that could be used as an insult were all used against me. kids can be mean bastards. they will mock the weak link or the non conformist to make themselves look better.

but we are adults now, right?

sure. yet now we get the "adult" version of the same thing, the borderline teasing that gets edgy really fast if we dare to contradict or give back insult as well as we got. its not that these people were trying to be mean. maybe they are passive aggressive and we need to love them for who they are. they were just so unaware that they were being offensive and mean that they didnt actually understand what they were saying. ... ya sure. or maybe they were just being dicks.

so we should just let it go? and let it go. and let it go...

we let it go - until we blow up and blast someones ears off. and you all wonder where it came from, wondering if it was you. what did I say? but I always act like an ass, thats just who I am...

im writing this, so that next time you wonder, i have something to send to you that you can think about.



I can be an ass too.

don't get me wrong, im not innocent, i do it myself. I pick on people who piss me off with their attitude. its pack mentality, yo. I'll pick on clown because he picks on me. I think he understands that I love him, in a snarky way. but it's a bad habit imho. I can do better. I can also tell you all that I love you, and I do. but I'm done taking the insults. I can speak out and say that I do not condone the casual disparagement of my sex. I might not make a big deal of it, because if i did, I'd turn into a social pariah really quickly. and we both know that. so stop pushing me there.

there's that oh so fine line between teasing and being a jerk, and its not easy to understand how another person might take your words, or react to your percieved "weakness". some people are brought up to believe that if a person speaks out, its a sign of weakness, something to be ridiculed. they will laugh when you feel hurt, and tell you to grow some balls - because men have balls, therefore they must be superior to the "pussies" - or the whiney bitch you get your pussy from. because its better to act like you arent hurt by someone treating you like an ass than to speak out.

"I'm a man, I can take it". ..ya, but should you?

I think about this, I think about this in relation to our attitude about politics, business one-upmanship, and other relationships in our lives where we need to keep our mouths shut rather than speak out, and how that affects our attitude towards other people we call friends and neighbors. we just seem to take it up the class/race/sex entitlement ass in the realworld, and accept that we cant change anything, so we might as well accept it.

why bother voting when everything is corrupt, why bother fighting for a better job or that raise we deserve? why do we tolerate that guy at work who stares at our boobs and happens to be our boss?

we tolerate it rather than protest, rather than look for another job, because who says the next president or boss or job wont be as bad, or worse? we put up with it because we are taught its useless to fight the system. thats just the way it is.



its just too much negative emotional energy, too much drama, so we pretend that it doesnt bother us. we play nice to keep the peace, to maintain the status quo. We let other people have their laugh at our expense.

as parents, maybe we see our kids going without if we arent on the ball. even with a two income household, some families can barely afford rent, food and health care for their kids, because some asshole CEO needs to be paid five million a year and benefits while his workers get minimum wage and no benefits for their two part time jobs.

why? because part time jobs dont require a company to pay benefits. loopholes courtesy of the political system that favors businesses over peoples basic human needs. It isn't right. Yet we accept this

but what can we do?

we shrug our shoulders and say, what can we do? we accept the lack of power inherent in a crooked political system. and then we react by putting down people we care about and act like its all a joke. because we feel powerless and out of control. because its unmanly to confess feelings. its unfeminine to express anger. thats changing a bit for the younger generation, but i still get that message a lot.

we see kids deal with these same challenge in schools, yet now we have terrorists on top of bullies. if we dare to speak up, we are told that its wrong to want to ban guns that might kill our kids, that we are left wing crazies trying to take away someones rights. if we speak up about bullying, we are rabid social justice warriors. if we object to Trumps racist sexist mentally deranged edicts, we are called commies and socialists and told we can go back to where we were born. and the left is equally as emasculating. theres no end to the negative pissing contents we wage in the name of upholding our fear based opinions.

we should be speaking out, attacking the system that keeps us tracked in this negative feedback loop.

some people think that being stoic and thick skinned and pretending that things dont bother them, that this makes them strong. some people think that if they viciously silence people thru negative insults and slurs, that this makes them right.



what is strength?

I see strength more in our ability to join as a community, to speak up with reason and conviction in the face of racism, cruelty, and greed; to speak out against thoughtless people who laugh over misfortune, who selfishly belittle anything or anyone they dont agree with.

people fear change because they fear the loss of something, be it power, money or social status. we remember the lessons of the bully in grade school, the rigged politics that enforce "shut up and take it or else", and we dont think beyond that. or if we do, we become the bully, out of fear. we do what we think we need to to survive, and screw everyone else. now where did we learn that from?

having respect for myself sometimes means telling people when they have crossed my lines. its funny because i do care what people think very much - until i don't. i have this pitiful need to feel liked, as cope might say, the "hooman condition", that often gets disappointed because of my need to tell people to go fuck themselves when they are being a thoughtless jerk.

maybe its a defense mechanism, a result of my childhood. maybe its because im more aware as a woman and a social reject what it feels like to deal with baseless discrimination and bullying. thankfully, it's not enough to shut me up when someone is being a douche.

I try not to look the other way when people are insulting or being obtuse. sometimes i try to hint, or tell people how i feel, but usually i get laughed at, or mostly ignored. this bugs me. even tho I might lose respect, or "friends", or monetary gain, i feel that its better to stay true to who I am than to constantly give in to the pressure to accept what is demeaning.



it's ok. we're all friends.

so as a friend, im telling you. it's not ok. its not ok to insult me, disparage my sex, assume my religion, or troll bait my political views because you think its funny, and want to pressure everyone else into thinking its funny too, or because you feel you must educate my ignorant opinions. perhaps you havent the common sense to realise that just maybe my opinions and thoughts come from my own experience and research, and being on the earth twenty years longer than you.

steem discord is a social bubble, a giant fish tank cultural experiment. and yea we espouse freedom of speech, but that doesnt mean it comes without consequences. we are trying to onboard new people from other countries, with other languages, and you all are asking what can we do? how do we keep people? how do we make them want to stay?

I'll borrow a phrase from Crim... Kindness * Costs * Nothing.

simple. be respectful. dont ignore the new guy because he's a clueless newb. be attentive and aware of how you come across. allow people to say how they feel. don't ignore women in chat because you want to mancave with your buddies, it's rude. calling people a troll or deluded or ignorant because you disagree isnt respectful social discourse and you know it. If someone tells you they are getting annoyed or upset, take a minute to stop and ask why. all of the common sense things that we often forget to do on a daily basis because we forget to be mindful, and caring.

yes, even me. Im guilty. feel free to call me on it if im being snappy.

now I know someone will read this and take the mickey. Go for it. but do it gently, do it with love.




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I noticed you slipped a casual "dude" in there and actually and in all honesty I have offended women in the past by using "dude" in my own speech on Discord! Which to me, and the era I grew up in, "dude" is not a male-gendered term. Which of course was neither here not there when I offended a woman by starting a response to her with "dude". Words are tricky slippery beasts and emotions even moreso. I think you are right in that people need to call it out when they perceive something offensive is happening, and even moreso need to be willing to accept the validity of someone else being offended. It is all too easy to take the anonymity afforded by computer screens and usernames and use it as license to be shitty. Remembering these are all real people with real feelings and totally different perceptions and experiences can be hard, even overwhelming - but we should all try :)

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I also use "you guys" as a second person plural pronoun without regard to gender, unless told otherwise.

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I've grown quite fond of the expression, "people", which is inclusive and not indicative of a specific gender.

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haha yea i did that dude on purpose because I kinda dislike being called dude, but it seemed to fit the casual insult mood. its a love hate word. words are lurky spells that cast influence that are - exactly - tricky slippery slopes. Throw in ESL people, different cultures - tis a malestrom.

It amazes me how people who dont know me well assume I'm a guy. then stop talking to me the same way after I tell them I'm a woman. Like they cant identify with me anymore. shrug.

Ive had a few guys scoff at my opinion, literally say to me, :"well you're just a woman", as if that explained everything. I understand that its cultural most times, but it still floors me that this attitude persists. Calling them on it is trickier because they dont accept my authority to do so.

On top of it we are fighting the backlash against people that get offended at the stupidest things.

I wrote this more for the people that I care about, who I realize just dont think about the words they use, or who are so stuck in their patterns that they dont understand that just because they didnt mean to offend doesnt mean that what they said isnt offensive.

And I'm also battling my own sex that casually accept the language that belittles them. They accept that status quo and dont understand why I make a big deal about it. For instance when I was 16, I loved it that my bf refered to me as wench. I thought it was funny. yet when I was older, and a little wiser, another bf didnt understand why I objected to him calling me "puta" as an endearment - none of his past gfs minded. or never said they did. culture and context.

Mostly I think people dont understand how words are perceived by outsiders, how they latch on to the fact that if a guy I know calls me a bitch and I allow it, that its ok for a guy to call any woman a bitch. they dont understand the context of humor or situation, or that maybe women do mind but are afraid to speak up. I want to give everyone that freedom to say something, and think about whats ok to say in a multicultural setting.

I think silence and passive acceptance sends the wrong message, and the only way to fight it is to educate people about what they are passively condoning.

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Thankyou for your lovely comment here, @carlgnash, that proves it's not all men who are disrespectful asses. It definitely isn't entirely about gender, and I'm never going to be offended at being called a dude, until someone realises I'm not and then calls me 'too sensitive' or, as they used to say 'hysterical'. Ugh.

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(Edited)

Hear hear! As a guy that often plays the role of antagonist and is quite blunt I do hope my intent to help us all grow together isn't overshadowed by my dirty words and derogatory comments..

I try to pick on my targets equally and inspire them to do some self reflection.. I absolutely don't intend to belittle people due to circumstances completely out of their control but I'm sure I've crossed lines as I admittedly stray from the safe, PC, socially conformed patterns purposefully.

BTW, were you choosing to be ironic when you used the word douche to describe someone that is being hurtful or annoying? 🕵😜 You also said you have a "pitiful" need to be liked and I'm sure you're well aware we all share this need as social beings and it's of course in no way pathetic or pitiful..

Anyway, I get your message and I respect that you and others have boundaries, I myself also have feelings and can be quite sensitive. I too would prefer that people like me, especially people I like and respect.. I never really bullied anyone but the bullies as a kid and I think I'm still the same, though I've probably extended my scope to include anyone I see as I having ulterior motives or being fake not as a defense mechanism but to curry favour and/or cheat people for personal gains..

Social media can be a brutal reflection of society at large and as an international and innovative platform we have a special responsibility to be kind, compassionate and universal..

Kindness indeed doesn't cost a thing but it can be priceless when someone needs it most.. Hugs and 🍪 cookies to you... I've stayed out of discord lately as it was getting too dramatic for my taste.. And I've got all these Rcs.. 😂

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Most guys are like you and Im ok with that. one of my fears is that people would read this and think im being preachy or fussy over nothing. So I threw all the pussy videos in to make a point. The douche word was totally ironic. I loaded that post with all the bad mouthed bitch I could, to illustrate how casually we accept words that are also used to harm.

I think everyone has boundaries, and Im sure I cross them with others, but this habit some guys have of holding in their feelings and pretending they dont care wht other people say hinders the whole process of open communication. totally agree with you that we have a special responsibility in realizing that how we act is reflected back at us.

thanks for the cookies! hugs .

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Cool! I didn't get the preachy, fussy, soap box vibes. For me it was an authentic appeal or desire for people to be more conscientious of the language they use. This is even more important online when we have no body language or tone of voice to help us figure out what's actually behind the words.

Do unto others should not be such a difficult concept but it definitely is and maybe that's because on some level sadly, being hurtful feels more familiar or genuine to many people that have been ridiculed and abused more often than treated with respect and dignity.

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I love good banter, but the rule is that it's like sparring: you never go further than each can take. Offensive humour is my defense against the darkness, but it doesn't suit everybody. We all have sore spots.

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Let's all become asses.
Witnesses are our idols and at the same time the biggest asses.
This is a platform of greed and exploitation.
Have fun

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(Edited)

some witnesses are asses. some are not. the ones that i know are lovely people. maybe you are just hanging out with the wrong witnesses? I agree that theres a lot of greed and exploitation. theres also a lot of love and caring. I'm trying to encourage the latter part and downvote the rest.

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I'm talking about the top witnesses; they are the ones who have something to say

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all people have something to say, if you dont like them dont vote them. three top witnesses I know all work very hard and do or say a lot if you listen. two have radio shows every week where they talk to people. I dont always agree with what they say or do but they do much to improve the platform. maybe you should listen?

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maybe you should first look at my witness votes before talking bs to me?

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why should i need to even have this convo? this post is not about witnesses. i'm not here to prove one witness is better than another, i'm simply giving my opinion.. im suggesting, out of courtesy because YOU raised the point, that if you are upset about witnesses that you should go listen to them and raise your concerns there.. and not in a post that has nothing to do with witnesses.

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Bravo Torico, I love a good rant!

Calling people out for being offensive causes them to feel ashamed and shame makes for bad feelings. So I guess the reaction is either to apologise or to lash back to try and push some shame back onto their accuser.

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(Edited)

i dont always see it as a shame thing, unless a person is being a jerk on purpose. I see it as a communication thing, like "hey what you said wasnt nice, and here's why". its the other persons prerogative to feel shamed and do backlash, or to react in a caring manner by either apologising or discussing it. The very hard part, what I often fail to master, is doing this before I get so pissed off that I go for the jugular. ;)

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I would feel ashamed if I accidentally offended someone. Maybe that's just me. I hope you would be gentle on me and pull me up before going for the jugular! 😆

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you yes.. some other people need to be bitten.. xD

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It is So true that we use all these words very lightly and it has a weight ! Wow , we are so programmed , are you a woman ? Are you a cookie ? Have you done the poem ? Thank you so much to open our eyes on this very important message ... we all lack a lot of respect for one another .

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i am a woman and a cookie and I am so sorry because I proscrastinate everything!! the poem has been sitting there for days and I was going to post it next but this thing about pussy came out of my mouth instead. I have ten other things I wanted to write...ha I have squirrell brain.

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(Edited)

It’s amazing how much hypocrisy is displayed in each paragraph. What’s equally amazing is that you demand others stop doing things that you don’t like, while demanding that they just go away if they don’t like what you are doing while complaining about how you think society should change for the benefit of an individual while asserting that the individual should not be forced to contribute to or withdraw from the society.

One demands others mandatorily contribute to her cause and at the same time demands that she be exempt from mandatory contribution.

I applaud the hypocritical foolishness of your socialist ideals.

The most important thing about ideals, comrade, is that they are dangerous. Equality is great because some are more equal than others.

Don’t think, just do as the subservient masses do.

I do enjoy free rent.

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you have a habit of demeaning women for no other reason than you derive pleasure from it. even when im not in chat, you have been casually dissing me, just to see if you can get a reaction. you've told me to shut up or ill get raped. you've insinuated that im so horny that i'd fuck anyone that asked.

i know sexual harrassment when i see it. i have nothing more to say to you.

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Its always easy to play the big man at the internet when you are a worm in your life. It gives you a major satisfaction and you forget that all day you crawling on the ground! Really @nathanpieters, you said those things to a girl? You are really fucked up...

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If you’d like, hit me up on discord and I’ll pass all interactions to you.

Listening to this empty shell of a human is about the same as putting a metal bucket on your head and hitting it with a hammer because your ears hurt.

She is a liar, plain and simple. She had no counter to my summary of her post and now she is making up her “me too” moment to distract from the real issue.

She’s a toxic loser who thrives on making others miserable.

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I will not hit you on discord and i do not want to see private conversations of other people. I know her and frankly i will not have used all these words even for my worst enemy. But if you feel this way, my advice is plain and simple: DONT SPEAK TO HER AGAIN!

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I’m not taking this shit lying down. Bitch hit on me, admits it then gets shitty when I call her out. 1AC65C51-E718-4CE9-8A3A-38D21823223D.png

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@torico when I call you bitch, it’s describing your behavior and mannerisms. When I call you slut, it’s because you throw yourself at men.

You have no respect for yourself and that’s why I hate you most.

You’re a pathetic, disgusting and dishonest piece of shit.

Always the grain of truth with you.

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Lol sexual harassment? YOU OF ALL PEOPLE need to stop those accusations.

I’ve never said any of those things. What I have said is that people posting about loneliness and their selfies might want to stop when you’re around because you’ll intentionally take it the wrong way.

This is a good example.

Nobody has ever threatened to rape you. Nobody wants to.

And yes, I make fun of your desperation. You’re a clown yourself, and you need to try painting a picture with something other than a sand covered paint roller.

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I am retracting my assertation that nathan told me to "shut up or you'll get raped".

when reading the small print of chat as it was streaming, I misread the thread because the words were so hurtful to me, given that he was saying something so demeaning in a room full of people whose good opinion I cared about.

what he actually said was, "she ambushes people with sex harrassing, you have to be on your toes.. or you'll get raped". while not quite as threatening, i consider this language as equally as disturbing, compounded with other past statements made by him derogatory of my morals and virtue.

while i formally apologize for my mistake in the reading, i did not purposefully and knowingly lie, nor do I condone his continuing actions in trying to smear me.

definition of sexual harrassment: behavior characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks in a social situation.

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What's wrong with socialism??

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You could ask my entire family. You’ll need to find the mass grave they are buried in. I have always felt it is just north of Cienfuegos.

I dream of them being killed but I’ve never met them.

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Sorry to hear that. I can see why the word might be used as an insult by you in that case.

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don't ignore women in chat because you want to mancave with your buddies, it's rude.

This has happened to me a lot tbh. I feel like I'm walking into a man cave and so I walk straight out again. There can be some very disrespectful talk about woman in there and I'm too scared to come in and say 'hey, that's not okay' because I'll be dismissed as a hippie, a leftie, being too 'PC' or whatever else they might want to come up with. Or I'm just plain ignored, because they want to talk about cars, woman, and whatever else, so .... maybe they do need a #mancave channel, but with some men in it that'll call it out when they are being sexist, misogynistic, disrespectful assholes.

Social media can be a brutal reflection of society at large and as an international and innovative platform we have a special responsibility to be kind, compassionate and universal..Kindness indeed doesn't cost a thing but it can be priceless when someone needs it most.

Thanks @skramatters for perfectly summing it up here. I like to think we keep that stuff out of @naturalmedicine, and the one time I did have a sarcastic, patronising voice in there I messaged him and politely asked him to stop, with love and respect. He did NOT take it kindly and lost his shit, pulled his delegation and disappeared as he thought I was picking on him - even though I said 'I know you may not have meant it that way, but please know your comments could be seen as quite demeaning and cruel, and you have upset the person you were talking to'. It made me feel sad.

I also know what it's like to be called a dude or a brother here, and when I correct them, they disappear and don't support me anymore. I also know what it's like to be less well regarded because I am not a male whilst watch male leaders in similar positions to me being pandered to. And there's nothing I can do about it and nor do I want to as I don't want to be trolled or hated or attacked. You are an amazing person for speaking out against injustice, inequality and the damn asshole-ness of society - a society that is mirrored on Steem despite our efforts to create an amazing place where people are 'free' - when we're not. The same laws apply - the ones that divide and isolate us, bully and patronise us.

Thankyou to the men who are NOT like that here. And I do say MEN, as I have yet to see the same behaviour of a woman. Point me in that direction and I'll stand corrected, happily. Fucking ego power plays and limited, childish minds who can't understand we are all in this together.

Just be you, @torico. That's all we can do - continue to model behaviour we wish to see in the world. Then you can rest easy knowing you have done your best.

But yes please, can Discord be a safe place for woman, and a respectful one? It's hard enough in real life.

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I'm too scared to come in and say 'hey, that's not okay' because I'll be dismissed as a hippie, a leftie, being too 'PC' or whatever else they might want to come up with

Speaking as an anarcho-capitalist who is almost virulently freedom-oriented, I think attempts to enforce political correctness are a good thing. That might come as a surprise, since an-caps are seen to lie maybe more on the conservative end of the spectrum, but when we express discontent about someone else's speech (which is not censorship; only governments can define "illegal" speech) we're engaging in what free-market economists call "market forces." That's how society self-regulates, as opposed to looking to centralized governments to regulate our behavior for us. We regulate each other, and that's how societies and markets work when left alone. Anarchists aren't opposed to following rules; we'd just rather the rules were derived laterally by the people involved rather than by government. And if people respond to your attempts to civilize the conversation by saying you're "too PC," remind them (or inform them) of this! When enough people express the need for civil discourse, our complex adaptive society will continually respond democratically to this self-regulation -- not all at once, across the board, but person by person, chat room by chat room. 😃

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I had no idea that so many groups that mention the female genitals hehehe

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im sorry to downvote your comment. im trying to nullify the visibility of the comment below you.

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Hi @torico!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
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(Edited)

"yet the same word, pussy, connotes the ideal fuck, distancing the act from the individual, thus objectifying the female genitals and debasing women as people undeserving of respect or admiration."
How true is that! This could be vie wewed as derogatory. However, you raise a lot of interesting points. Interesting read

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thanks. its not anything that hasnt been said before, just a reminder for people to consider and be mindful of.

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