He cannot see himself as part of the world. He feels he doesn't belong here.
He is only 16.
Everything that used to make him happy doesn't make him happy anymore.
He has lost hope in everything. He just wants to lay on his bed. He has no energy. He feels heavy.
It is more than just feeling sad.
It goes on forever and everything in his life slowly slips away because he cannot fight off these overwhelming feelings he has.
He locks himself away.
He feels ashamed.
He feels jealous of his friends that don't struggle with mental illness. Living their simple easy lives. As he sits trying to think how to just not feel suicidal anymore.
It affects his personality.
He tries to suppress it
But in doing that it is like disowning a part of who he is.
And as he tries to live through the darkest times embracing the better sides of it and tries to accept this is beast that takes over him is a part of his life he doesn't need to hear "Teenagers being depressed is just a normal thing!".
Some people think it's simple. "Just push him to outdoor activities," they say. But it's not so easy going outside when you feel like you're in chains most days.
"Keep his mind occupied," they say, that will do the trick. When his mind is already busy, racing and whirling so fast he begs for it to stop.
"Just get him medicine it helps people with bipolar" like pills are the answer to everything. When they only subtly ease his pangs.
When he laughs too hard, he mustn't have had his meds.... because he is bipolar.
When he cries, he mustn't have had his meds......because he is bipolar.
He just wants to be him without judgment.
He is bipolar and just wishes he was understood. Communication and connections are what he craves and needs.
He wants to know he isn't alone when feeling all alone is all he has.
He wants to feel accepted.
He wants to belong.
He doesn't want to hurt anymore.
He wants you to try and understand.
If you are interested in reading an older post about my sons journey with the big black dog and bipolar in a previous post https://busy.org/@mumma-monza/fuck-bipolar
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My father is bipolar II and it was a hell of a ride growing up.
He's better now being on Lithium but we have some fond memories of his episodes.
Like one time he had a meltdown over missing sock, holy shit that tirade is still etched in my memory.
I love my dad. He's a hell of a character. Used to be an OB/GYN. One time he was on his way to deliver a baby and cop was trying to pull him over for speeding.
A high speed pursuit ensued with my father reaching the hospital, running towards the deliver room, and IIRC he had jumped over tables which in my mind I picture happening like Dukes of Hazard over the hood of a car.
Crazy stuff
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Mama I feel your pain. I too have a teenage son who is struggling with some similar issues and some days are just discouraging and painful...
hugs
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I remember reading your first “bipolar” post.
I am sorry for this pain - if I was close by I would take you some coffee and sit while you talked about it.
Sending love.
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Very moving post. So many folks with mental health issues are misunderstood. It is a shame. Medications do help, it is just finding the right ones. The doctors do the best they can, but everyone is wired different.
I empathize with your son's pain, and even more your pain. It is difficult I am sure to do one's best to protect their child but, be powerless in such an areas.
Thank you for bringing this topic to folk's attention on the #PYPT Podcast. This post will definitely be resteemed by me. G-D bless you, your son and all of your family.
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Thanks for engaging with posts presented on PYPT
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Sending love and reiki energy your and your son's way right now, @mumma-monza. Thank you for sharing. ☔✨💕🙏
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I've dealt with anxiety & depression (including a severe bout of postpartum depression) for as long as I can remember, and I've heard those exact same suggestions, coming from well-intentioned people (which makes it all the more frustrating, because they think they're helping). My heart goes out to you and your son, and you did a beautiful job of presenting this on #PYPT. Bright blessings to you and your family, @mumma-monza.
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stalkingfollowing you on Pinterest... 😉😊)Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
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I'm known with that as well, my mother is bipolar and that has been a tough ride for me as well once that came out . There's no such thing as a simple answer that will work for a person that's bipolar. Every person is different and needs something different. The worst part I remember, that when my mom went into deep depressions, she got picked up like she's some kind of criminal. Maybe I will write about it some time.. I was so mad that she got treated like an animal instead of a person. Just sedate them for weeks and they are quiet and cause no trouble. I've seen many places filled with people struggling with all kinds of mental illnesses and it made quit an impact. Now I think about it, those encounters were probably the very first times in life that I (as a teenager) asked myself what's wrong with the world to treat people like that.. as if they like being ill, and asked to have a disease like that. Hope your son is treated better, but as far as I can see he has a supporting and loving family.. ♡
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Thank you for sharing the struggle in PYPT this past week. What a terrible thing, and so sad that others dismiss it so easily, like popping a pill or going outdoors can cure all ills, magically. I wish him much success with getting on top of this problem... 💙
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Thanks for sharing on Pimp Your Post Thursday
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