The Shane Saved My Life....and Simultaneously Almost Sent Me to the Hospital! Woohoo!!!

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(Edited)

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So there I was trying to relax, minding my own business when my sandwich tried to kill me!!!


A stupid piece of my stupid sandwich jumped down my windpipe!

How rude!!!

So, I started choking....and dying!!!


The cats freaked out and started running all throughout the house.....the sandwich went flying through the air...at least 30 seconds of my life flashed before my eyes...it was complete mayhem!

I went running into the room where The Shane was. He ran toward me....swung me around...wrapped his arms around me....gave me the Heimlich Maneuver.....and cracked my ribs!!!


The Shane saved my life! (Yay!!!!!)

The Shane cracked my ribs in the process! (Booooo!!!)


It was a strange moment of intense relief from no longer choking whilst simultaneously experiencing intense pain.
It was....
Glorious.

I think the worst part about this whole thing is that I was only halfway through this delicious sandwich when it turned on me and decided to end me!
And I kinda lost my appetite after almost dying.

Anyhoo.....

I am immensely grateful for The Shane saving my life.
I was in pretty severe pain for a few days, but each day seems to be getting better.

In closing....
One of my favorite memes.....which seems to sum up my life fairly accurately lately.

palnet life story newsteem blameshane
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49 comments
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well, on the plus side, you have a really good excuse not to move any boxes

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I still had to move boxes because The Shane hates me

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(Edited)

Oh my goodness, for surviving that I feel we need to
roll the portal credits. I don't envy you the pain, but
I hope that you heal up extra super-duper fast!


BTW, Orphan Black was fucking awesome Sistre.

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I Hope You HEAL Back Soon. The Ribs will be a Little Uncomfortable.............@isaria

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Broken ribs suck but you didn’t die so...

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Hi, @isaria!

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(Edited)

Why am I laughing at this? This is not the right time to be laughing. I'm lucky I'm not eating a sandwich right now. That thing would be painful flying out of my nose like milk or apple juice during a joke. I need to go rethink my life. Get well soon!
I'm just playin...

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lol thank you...I saw your comment when you first made it and it made my broken ribs very happy. It has taken me 8 days to respond because I apparently have gone through some sort of time vortex fugue state.

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Had to add a disclaimer because, you know, some people don't get that kind of humor.

I can't even remember what I was doing eight days ago. How the hell did I get inside this room...

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Help me I am trapped inside this little computer box thingy
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Damn you killer sandwich - your revenge has been foiled and your people continue to be consumed.
I think "you have the karmic debt of a sandwich" will be my go to insult for a day or two.

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lol this comment made my broken ribs happy

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Wow! Blame Shane for the ribs! :)

Glad you are okay

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Omg! That was crazy! I am glad you are okay! 🙏❤️ I hope your ribs heal up soon!

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That is some scary shit when it is happening!
Glad you made out alive.
Now don't cough or hiccup for the next 3 months.

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I know.....coughing and laughing are the worst!

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This is why I don’t text and eat I like to sit and enjoy what I’m doing and chew every bite and savour it as it goes down, Yoh never know which bite will be your last!

Wishing you a speedy recovery and chew chew chew chew chew like a train lol

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Pretty cosmic as on Friday I almost choked on a mini cheddar ( it's like a small biscuit) as I bit into for some reason a bunch of crumbs went down my windpipe and I froze . My friends saw me go quiet but all it took was a few hacking coughs . Hope you and Shane well

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Oh damn....glad you are ok!

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This is the best near-death experience ever written :’)

Kinda glad Shane was close <3

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lol thank you......me too!

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I am glad that Shane knew what to do @isaria otherwise Shane will be free.. Uh I mean it will be a great, great loss for him and us :P
It sure hurts to live I am sorry about your ribs tho, it will heal.
Take care Ma'am.

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lol thank you Cryptopie

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(Edited)

That darn sandwich D, urgh!! Big Up to the rib cracking hero of the day though, thank you for saving D's life Shane <3 <3 <3
I am happy to read you are on your way of recovery cat-woman <3
Love & gentle huggins from Germany <3

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I bet that sandwich was really good... almost to die for - jokes aside, I'm glad that ended up well, a few broken ribs are nothing compared to what could have happened. I admire Shane's ability to stay calm, other's would have panicked.

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Thank you Ruth.....yes I'm very grateful that Shane was there for sure

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Terrible situation! As well that you were in apartment not one!

You are lucky that you have such a loving friend who will not get lost,
and will provide the necessary assistance in time.

God grant you health and happiness!

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Great success and good mood, dear @isaria

1408383362_youloveit_ru_pixelnye_kartinki_marie_koty_aristokraty10.gif

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Glad you are ok I have to say that is one of the scariest things ever when it is happening to you. Such a small simple thing makes you really rethink life and how fragile it is.

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It’s always the dumbest things that end up almost killing you. I bet one day I am going to die while eating a pistachio or something. Or I will slip in the shower and then my family will be stuck with a huge water bill because the shower will be on for so long.

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great that you got help.

I had a smilier experience when i had a bad cough. I was lying in bed and having a cough drop. Suddenly I had to cough and it got stuck deep down my throat. I could not breathe and panic immediately set in. In order to get help I had to run downstairs, but jumping down the staircase is already came back up.

Lesson learnt: Never have cough drops while lying in bed.

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When I read the title, I knew there was a huge story behind, and I'm not disapointed at all hahaha. Choking is so scary! I can't imagine what went through your mind those seconds, but I'm glad it has an almost happy ending.

I would assume Shane scored points for the rest of the year hahaha.

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lol yes he scored all the points this time!

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Isaria!!! I'm so glad you have a Shane to blame. Seriously – what if, like me, you lived alone?? Scary thought, that....

I'll definitely be more careful whilst consuming sandwiches, lest I find myself choking on gluten-free bread. Definitely don't want to die by sammy, no matter how delicious.

Love you, Isa. Sending gentle huggles.
xo, zipps

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I know! Please be careful eating Sandwiches Zippers!!!
Loves and Hugs💞

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