Colored Pencil and Pen & Ink.

I made this Auragraph trying to find out WHY I have had sciatica for the last 3 months. As it turns out, it is as a result of a sigil i made thinking it was a cool idea but without knowing the amount of baggage I was going to unearth insodoing.

I made this Sigil, above,

Collage, Colored Pencil, Ink, & Oil on Found Wood 11" x 16"

put it in this painting above and then promptly, my back went out, I got a chiropractic adjustment which had always worked in the past, and I got a bulging disc from it from which came TERRIBLE 24/7 sciatica, and I have been lying around for 3 months living on air somehow, waiting for the settlement from the car wreck that brought all this on...

Me, stating to my subconscious mind that I now stand on my own 2 feet with God. It was as if an earthquake took place in my psyche as the new idea clashed with the old idea...because...

I have never stood on my own 2 feet - I have either had an overbearing parent taking care of me, or my inheritance from that parent, or Section 8 housing or food stamps - I have never been on my own.

The Auragraph shows that in order for me to change (sundog) and find my Inner Compass (sun), I am going to have weep more tears from my history (hair) - in order for my flower (vulva, pelvis, birthgiving Source) to open to the world

supported by it's own stem and roots -

I have to look in my childhood AGAIN.

Those tears will wet the dry soil and I will find the reflection of my Compass in my life and be able to live it.

The fact is I came from a very violent beginning. Alcoholism, Sexual Abuse, Trauma, years and years of it. My niece called me from back home because she is having an awakening of her own. She and I have a lot in common. We have been talking. Opening up the old wounds. Airing them out. She had the same upbringing and she also was bullied by me when I was a kid taking it out on her. I have made my amends for that. She is meeting me on different footing now - we are equals in a sense but I have things to offer her as well.

The sciatica is abating. I put that Sigil on there because I had destroyed the other painting to try to put the Genie back in the Bottle - too late. So I decided, what the hell. I will just put it back, I might embed it in the drawing somehow are put it in the painting.

I have to go through this mess in order to Stand on My Own Two Feet, With God - and I don't want to live my life dependent - I don't believe that IS my path forever in this life. I believe with God all things are possible and He wants me to be dependent on Him only, not on people or money or social constructs.

That's my personal Auragraph Reading for myself - anyone else want one?

I will do FREE Auragraphs this week

What Is A Sigil?

https://steemit.com/esoteric/@in2itiveart/how-to-make-a-sigil-a-positive-statement-of-intention-that-speaks-to-your-subconscious-mind-and-works

Why Do I Use Sigils?

I have a peculiar mental condition - it's partly my Astrology and partly a spiritual illness - I am weak willed. I change my mind constantly. I use sigils for things that I know that I want to have happen that I normally would change my mind 10,000 times about. They help me keep my mind aligned with God's will for me. I also use positive affirmations and mantras and I try to stay positive about what's going on in the world - like I add a statement every time I have see something about some horrible thing going on in the world, "but with God everything will be ok" - And that's my experience... because praying for help in every situation that is untenable brings a Supernatural Answer.