Comforting A Loved One In Grief ?
There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people....voltaire
This is never an easy pill to swallow.
Late this afternoon, I received a call from a friend who had earlier told me she got mixed up in some sort of offence and that a panel was being set up to investigate the matter. Initially, I had advised her to just explain herself clearly to the right authorities and hope for the best, most importantly, so that she was not going to be punished unfairly...this she did anyways
However, today she was told that she would have to extend her service to the state for another month and mehn this was the most devastating news ever because we were all looking forward to her coming back to us.
Things don't always turn out the way we want, I know, but I hated the fact that I had to have this conversation of sympathy. It sucked at this point.
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Most times when my loved ones are sad, I just go mute, simply lost for words. I hurt inside for them and feel my silence and presence at that time will do them a whole lot of good than just repeatedly saying things would've turned out differently "IF" they had done things a certain way.
Likewise, whenever I'm hurt by anything, I wouldn't want my comforters to take me down the lane of "what if's"....what if I had done this, or what if I didn't do this?? Nooooo! Just sit, give me some tissues to wipe my tears (I'll most certainly be crying🥴), and shut tf up.
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Anyways, we all process grief differently. We are unique this way as individuals. So, while some would want to shut people out completely, others may enjoy being surrounded by friends or even choose to rely on alcohol to numb their pain at that moment.
Whichever way, respect their grief handling process, be patient with them, be the very positive one and the light at the end of their very dark tunnel....while nudging them gently and slowly out of grief.
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So in my phone call today, it was a 17 mins talk, about 4 of those minutes in total ,were spent in silence. Wanted her to know I understood how she felt at that moment, and would give her a hug right then if it were possible.
How do you deal with grief associated with loved ones?
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Have a great weekend guys😊