Finding The Value In I!
I have been taking part in an abundance meditation challenge and I am almost finished. It is my first time to every take part in anything like this and also my first time to really meditate, in the conventional way. I have always found and connected with myself when I dance and when I have created ceremonies, so I never felt drawn to meditating in any other way.
But this challenge came to me when I was feeling really overwhelmed and low in energy. It came to me, exactly when I needed it the most.
It has forced me to take time for myself everyday over the last 19 days, something I have always struggled with. Convincing myself that I there just wasn't enough hours in the day. But of course their is, I just had to take that time and start finding the value in myself, the value in I.
When I started, I didn't really know what to expect. I certainly wasn't prepared for how deep I was going to dig. Each challenge involves you writing your discoveries,so that you end up expressing things that you may not feel comfortable saying. Having a pen/pencil gives you a certain amount of freedom and it has always been one of my favourite ways of expressing myself.
One thing I realized early on, was how much I have been holding myself back.
On the one hand I have always had faith in my connection to the earth, it is what has carried me all these years and it is a huge part of who I am. But my journey to where I now, has had some very dark moments. I have survived by building a wall around myself, a wall to protect me from others, but that wall has also prevented me from receiving what I need at times.
Because we need to be open to receive, we need to believe that we are worthy. My wall was a wall of resistance,resisting help, not allowing myself to ask for help. If I did not seek it, then I would not be disappointed when I never received it. It was always easier to shut myself off.
From a young age, I learnt that the only support I had was from myself. I was let down so many times, so I build this wall and even though it has soften in the last few years, it is still there. It is still there, because that child in me still feels neglected.
I am so feckin head strong and so determined, I fought so hard to be seen as independent, I literally ran from my home when I was old enough. And I did it, I proved my independence, but I still carry that fear of being dependent on others. And that is what has been holding me back, what has blocked me from receiving.
This journey has been so insightful, I always thought I was pretty in touch with who I am, but I guess we are all full of surprises and we can get so used to our walls, that we don't even notice them anymore. That wall got me to where I am, as much as my connection to the earth. I needed it to help me navigate my way.
But Now, now I need to let it all come down!
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The universe provides each and every person exactly what is needed at the right time @trucklife-family. Wonderful isn't it?
it is indeed @angiemitchell, it is indeed xxx
I am only on day 4, but I have a feeling it is going to make me dig deep, as well! 💚
Awesome keep it up. Perhaps I should revisit this challenge myself :>)
yes I think you should xxx
Oh it is really powerful, enjoy xxxx
"... we get so used to our walls that we don't even notice them anymore." Nailed it there, sister. I'm on Day 18 and finding such immense value that I'm going back to Day 1 when the first cycle is done, and doing it all again. For the discipline, and to dig even deeper, and to FEEL it more in my deepest parts. Because it is truly transforming me in many ways.
Sending abundant love to you.
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you know I was thinking the same thing to actually just redo it, it is such a powerful challenge. Sending abundant love to you too xxxx
Querida amiga,
I understand it isn't easy to find alone time for self care, being a single mom to three young kids but yeah, this is so very true...
I made this little note lately, as I really tend to talk down on myself ( negative self talk ). It is an important reminder to treat yourself as you would treat a good friend, even if it's just the way you think. It makes a big difference.
Glad to hear that the abundance challenge has given you some valuable insight.
Un abrazo grande,
Vincent
I think I will have to draw that myself and stick it up, the main thing is not to beat myself up too much about things, about not making time etc, much love to you my friend xx
Yes, try to prioritize whatever makes you feel good where and when you can but don't beat yourself up ( that expressions sounds bad in itself ) over not doing something :>)
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My most powerful meditations comes in times of great sorrow, and often the only times when I actually NEED to do full meditations. Practicing this in these moments connects you much deeper with your inner self in my experience. I do however use a few different breathing techniques pretty frequently when I get stressed or overwhelmed - which are meditations of their own, but not so involved and lengthy.
So I just picked up this book known as: Gaia Speaks. It is about channeling with Gaia and the experiences drawn from that - written by a powerful Gaia channeler who also holds workshops and online events (some of them free).
I have about 10 more books otw to me that I am excited to grab. I am ramping up my spirit and really honing in and utilizing my abilities. These books will be great references when I do my etheric work. I will post about them when they arrive.
Great post - my wall actually failed anyway so what was the point lol! Probably so I could be shown another type of personal energy to be wary of and stay away from... expensive lessons. It is a good idea to keep certain types of people at a distance. Not all humans will have your best interest at heart.
Glad you are gaining insights from taking the 21 Day Abundance Challenge!
I'm just on the first part of the challenge but it has been having wonderful effects!
That is a big one to bring down the walls and being able to receive!
One thing I learned related to this is that the quality of the giver and the quality of the receiver is important too!
I imagine after so many years of being walled off that you will be very appreciative of what you receive making the gift all that much better!
Thanks for sharing!
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