The best feel good medicine available is exercise - there is no substitute or shortcut. You must remain consistently active to have balanced energy levels, and it also does wonders for self-esteem.

I have been going through quite a rough metamorphosis this year which has forced me to gain more perspective on what I am actually not happy about in relation to self. Self image is a vital construct to the human experience, and if you are not happy with something about yourself, and you have the ability to improve that aspect of your existence, then it is in your best interest to do so. The longer you procrastinate change in this niche, the more your unhappiness with yourself will compound. This will not lead to pleasant places.

Pin I picked up in a free box during Oregon Country Fair 2019

There are features about myself that I do not love. Some of these aspects I cannot improve indefinitely (mostly due to my economic position) - like having my hair fall off my head and onto my back ha! In the past I was constantly wishing things could be different in that arena, but now I choose to take conscious action, and prioritize grooming these areas to my liking so I will feel more comfortable in my own body. This includes visiting a esthetician at a waxing studio once every 5-6 weeks, and while I plan on asking her about my head issue as well, I have already taken it upon myself to purchase old school US manufactured electric trimmers to buzz my scalp down (just waiting for the right moment after my consultation).

Previously I would have been too embarrassed to seek professionals for these issues (let alone post about them publicly), but on that note - I am DONE not being happy with the way I look to myself. Others may not care or notice, but that holds no sway in my own mind.

At the beginning of this past summer (2019), I was gung ho about working out and eating healthy. This changed when a series of traumatic events sent me into the worst depression of my life. I stopped working out, stopped caring about what I was eating, would wake up in such a depressed state every day that I wouldn't want to get out of bed (even though I always did and pressed on anyway), my internal clock was in a spiral, I was loosing friends... it hasn't been pretty.

That down spiral made me gain a ton of weight, severely tainted my body's daily energy flow, and generally just made me feel bad... worse than I already was feeling from the depression and severe anxiety I was experiencing. Even though I am still not completely healed from the trauma that was created inside of me, I decided it was time to throw a wrench in the helpless engine - and go start exercising again.

When I work out, it is coupled with healthy sustenance consumption. I make sure to include cardio, lifting, sauna, stretching, and sometimes yoga and swimming laps. The type of food you ingest will have a strong influence in determining the pace and size of your progression with building muscle and loosing fat as well. That is why I always consume high protein foods and drinks after workouts, and high nutrient consumption on resting days in between workouts.

This is my log for Be Healthy: Day 1 (12/7/2019) - 10 days before my birthday.

I ran 1.2 miles, completed a full body workout on weights, then spa - sauna - shower. Came home to eat tomato bisk with quinoa and oat fillets, then directly after drank a large glass of coconut milk mixed with non-gmo/organic hemp protein (clutch). Small fire roasted authentic Italian pizza for dinner actually imported from Italy (I love Grocery Outlet). Plan to repeat workout every other day while varying types of lifts and healthy food, and increasing distance of running and weight amounts/# of reps slowly. Will be drinking homemade organic smoothies with more than 40 ingredients on the in between days, and coconut milk/hemp mix on workout days (always post workout). Stretching before and after workouts is also key for proper muscle development and injury prevention. I will be throwing some swimming laps in the mix occasionally as well (gym has indoor lap lanes).

...I ate squid pancakes last night and they were bomb - Thanks to my bro Nick Johnson for the pre-work out fuel.

Day 1 pre-workout photo

After reading all this you might be thinking, "he really puts a lot of weight on his physical state rendering his happiness and self-love" - and for me, yes I do, but don't get it twisted. I have a ton of love for myself - I love my creative ability, my intelligence, my ultra high level of honesty, all my internal gifts and attributes are top notch in my mind, and even still, I constantly strive to expand more in those areas regardless... I am simply now putting more emphasis on addressing the one part of my being I am not completely satisfied with - my physical.

Now don't get me wrong, I do see myself as an attractive person, and I know I am not that out of shape, but I want to be able to present myself to myself, in all my naked glory and say, YES - this is what I want to look and feel like, and now I AM THAT! Doing this will also strengthen all my internal attributes and energy levels, improving my creative tuning to an even higher degree than previously harnessed or even imagined.

Looking good to yourself helps you feel good about yourself - its that simple. I want to love myself all the way, not just for who I am in the middle, but who I am on the outside as well. Like everything else I pursue in my life, I will apply this simple but tried and true personal formula - take small steps every day that you can handle to improve your situation, and your life will improve. Lessen the things that complicate your life, and your life will be less complicated. Do what needs to be done, do not rush, and do not stray from your goal while flowing with the river of life. Know what you want and make the sacrifices to get it - little by little, you climb the mountain.

While I am not sure about what I want in some important phases of my life at the moment, this is one phase where I am positive about my desires. I will check back about this in 2020 to chart my progress. Clocked in at just over 220 lbs on the scale today - yuck. I am aiming for a healthy 190-200 for my height of 6'1, with much less body fat, and much more muscle (and tone) than I have now.

Provide the Strength!

Intent Grounded

Blessings everyone & stay tuned - into the right frequencies

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