More musings on Positivity

This is Kenneth, I moved to Vancouver after meeting him. Even though we broke up a long time ago, he is one of my closest friends and someone I could rely on through the challenging reality of Covid. He is very kind and generally well meaning.

Aside from talking about this handsome fellow, we will also touch on Positivity, as a part of my current series.

Sometimes he seems to be torn between a strong sense of his own identity and the mythical charms of Hollywood and all of its values. Something a lot of people struggle with so in that sense, he is very relatable.

He loves to cook and has me over for dinner often, I was happy to find a place a mere three blocks away when I moved out, a year and a half after we separated and therefore lived as roommates. This would make it easy to be there for each other.

We met at a club in Montréal 10 years ago, for him, it was love at first sight. He wanted me to work on an animation project, one that would turn out to be arduous but then, I became a fitness instructor.

Where he sometimes lacks in conviction, he makes up for with humour and with the beauty of his lifestyle. He knows how to make everyone happy.

He is not always as easy to communicate with. Like on the day I took this selfie, he felt a bit strained at taking care of Simon his nephew who is a teenager but what with him being differently abled, it adds a twist to our experience. We were out camping, this was in early September right after I came back from Quebec after living with my mom for 8 months. She taught me translation and in exchange, I looked after her just as the virus appeared. She is my best friend my mom is.

That day, it made me mad that Ken and his nephew plugged in all their devices, including power banks, at a pub, right after Simon turned down the sunflower maze and did some damage on a sign. There is a little history of tantrums there that is harder for Ken to manage than I as he is hosting his beloved nephew who comes from the island to visit.

I was somewhat upset at other practical things as well, but I mostly kept quiet let it pass. I love to nurture my ego once in a while it makes me petty but also a little bit badass. Drinking can be a cheerful experience or it can feel like sulking, in this case, it was a mixed bag, far from a complete waste!

Let's call putting on a brave face a little white lie, as such, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it to preserve other people's mood or do you need to be vulnerable or even angry and kind of a jerk? When you are positive, you try to go in the eye of the storm when you are most likely to say or do things you will regret. It's a bit like a superpower, it's supposed to guide your hand so you do things you may regret a little but that served their purpose.

For example, I don't know if you have been watching Raised by Wolves, but in it Mother is programmed to be a very positive person, choosing very carefully when she gets angry at the children and how loud she yells at them. It's kind of like with electronic music, it's about creating an atmosphere.

Mother, a cyborg, is a perfect example of a very positive personality, optimistic, but never at the detriment of her objectivity. Positive people who are overly optimistic make for poor leaders. However, we all have blind spots when it comes to objectivity and being a leader is not always the wisest decision.

I am so pleased that I found the time to accomplish this quick study on this trip, watercolours are bomb yo!

With positive intention, you may not be able to know the demons that lie in the depth of your own subconscious, I think everyone has them, but you are able to reduce the likelihood of turning into someone you do not like. It's about effort and constancy.

It is something that you have to find for yourself. On one hand, you can seek validation from others with feedback that you empower them, but this is the exception not the rule. Most people with high self-confidence and who are positive are often overlooked, because they are doing what they are doing expecting nothing in return.

Ken is a beautiful and loving human being, he is most charming when smiling at a dog. His enthusiasm for the great outdoors could not be more attractive. I am grateful that there is no awkwardness between us and that we can just be friends.