Let her cry, they said..
Today was one of those days...
You know the ones that seemed endless.
Tired, sore back, cold feet - that never warmed up. Then add a very clingy, active baby that didn't sleep much all day.
😭😭😭😭
Ohh I forgot..
Then Hubby didnt get home til after 7pm.
TBH, I was pretty much done at 5pm.
Lately Hubby hasn't been able to put her to sleep at night because she would cry out and call me.
I would then sing her some songs while rocking her and she would eventually doze off. If I'm lucky she would stay asleep when I crawled in bed, usually I'm not and she should wake up and I'd have to do the whole routine again.
Tonight was not a lucky night.
If ever there was a time for me to finally let her cry it out it was most definitely tonight.
I think it's time ~ way past time actually ~ that we sort her bed routine out so she sleeps in her cot without having to be rocked, bounced or carried every night.
I'm exhausted you guys and my back is sore constantly. These cold nights arent helping either but I reckon it'll be worse during Summer.
After about 30 minutes of crying, wailing, sobbing ~ I caved. I picked her up from the cot, gave her boob (ohh boob, you're the best thing ever.) and she calmed down and fell asleep still sobbing.
😭😭😭😭
She's so tired she didnt even stir when I sneezed.
It's really hard letting her cry it out because it's such a stark contrast to her usually happy self. The way she carries on as well, it's like she's been wrongfully victimized and will have heart attack.
You guys got any tips for me?
Not quite sure what to do here.
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Oh mama! What do I tell you? I have 3, the younger 2 are 17 months apart and the youngest will be 5 in a few months. I never got my old sleep routine back. I guess I never will(you know, the age getting into the equation!).
Yup! The boob is the best thing ever. Always does the trick. We were on it for 2 years with my Little Man. Now, he still finds it comforting if I lie down with him as he dozes off.
There was a phase when my BFF was a hot water bag that I put on my back as I sleep to ease the soreness.
If it's any consolation to you, she'll grow quick and will not let you call her "my baby" before you know it. 😅
Hugs! 🤗
Aww thanks love ❤
Whoa 17 months apart 😳😳 Must be nice though to have them so close in age. If we were going to have another one Id like them to be that close in age too.
Sleep routine.. what's that?! 😴😅😴 My sleep's been out of whack since I was pregnant. I'm surprised I haven't lost my mind.... completely.. 😂
Might give the hot water bottle a go. At the moment its hard to tell if its the baby or my old age that's making my back sore but ill do anything to ease the aching.
My eldest was just like that. Always had to rock her to sleep and could only put her down when she was fast enough on to not wake when I did. When she was about two and my second was on the way I got some advice on controlled crying. The idea was for her to learn to go to sleep on her own, so I'd settle her down, then leave the room. If she started crying, give it 5 minutes, then head back in to settle her, but not pick her up this time. Repeat, leaving it a little longer each time. It was so hard and I had to try and get out of earshot, because I couldn't bear to hear her crying.
This gives some good ideas that may be helpful: https://www.mumsnet.com/babies/sleep-training-and-controlled-crying
Two years old sounds like a good age to do the training. I think less chance for the undesirable brain rewiring thing to happen, but itd still be hard to hear her crying.
We need to fix the cot and switch the sides so there's no "nail" poking out from the sides. Then maybe I can try leaving her on her own.
Thanks for the link! How long did it take for her to take to the training?
Oh dear, that was 17 years ago, so I don't remember exactly. I don't think it was more than a week, although if she was sick we'd have occasional relapses, which is to be expected.
I dont think I could have done it when she was much younger.
Is she high pitched screaming or low grumbly growly constant noise? If the former, sorry you're just stuck holding/feeding her to sleep/calmness til she gets over it (and she will eventually even if it doesn't feel like it right now). If the latter, you can do @minismallholding's controlled crying suggestion as that type tends to just complain regardless of what you're doing XD
I used to have a pile of research (which I may not have anymore due to being past that stage) basically saying that you don't want to do the controlled crying/sleep training thing if they're distress screaming because it does some undesirable brain rewiring.
Having said that, if you're feeling really angry and frustrated yourself, absolutely put her down somewhere safe (that cot can come in useful for something other than expanding your sleeping space ;D) and go outside where you can't hear her trying to scream the place down and take as long as you need to calm down and get back into a good headspace.
Currently I'm still thinking it's age-related brain development stuff coming to a real head (is that a pun? Sorry if it's a pun aaargh) as she may genuinely be panicking about you never coming back, and that will settle once the brain develops enough to realise that just because she can't see you doesn't mean you're not there and never coming back. If it's that, then what you're doing with all this agonising work is assuring her that you're still bloody there regardless of whether she can see you or not and it's helping form secure attachments that will hopefully last forever as she learns that she can rely on you.
If the screaming is or has become a constant thing perhaps a doctor visit to rule out anything else that might be causing her to carry on like a stuck pig.
Defo the former.
Here's the thing. When I put her in her cot I didn't actually leave I just sat in bed and watched her.
When she gets past a certain point everything would set her off. Like if she tries to climb on the bed and she falls on her bum she'll start screaming. Me telling her No quietly, firmly and loudly and she'll start screaming.
She's very sensitive especially to sound and tone.
I certainly get the undesirable brain rewiring vibe.
When I'm just done DONE, I do walk away or if Hubby's home I tell him it's his turn lol
We had another round of screaming this arvo.
I cant help but think maybe she's like this now because we didnt train her to sleep in her bed earlier?
🤷♀️
If it's related to brain development it's unlikely. If she's always been a hysterical screamer and didn't want to sleep on her own and you made her anyway then that would have rewired her brain earlier on. If on the other hand she adapted wonderfully to sleeping in her own bed everything would be a lot worse now because you'd be used to her sleeping in her own bed and suddenly she won't leave you alone even at bedtime along with being a wailing banshee XD
There's a lot going on in that tiny little baby brain of hers and she can't understand it either :)
It might be worth examining how you and hubby react when she bumps into things or falls over as some of the preciousness could stem from learned overreactions to relatively minor issues. Otherwise I'm pretty sure you just have an oversensitive little soul on your hands and part of the fun of the next few years will be trying to make sure that the beautiful delicate flower has the mental fortitude to deal with the world :)
Once you've ruled out/dealt with all the normal stuff you might also want to have a look at what kind of energy flows are going through your house and possibly fix/reroute there as that can easily set off oversensitive little souls :D
And try to remember that while she'll be your baby forever the actual baby stage is ridiculously short in the grand scheme and these situations feel like they last forever when you're in them, but when you look back you'll realise they were like a blink or a bad dream :)
Wailing banshee... Thats a more appropriate username for her than @bella.bear. She's got a set of lungs on her that's for damn sure.
She's never wanted to sleep on her own which why we're in this predicament and probably why the baby swing worked so well but she's too big for that now.
We don't really react when she falls. We mainly observe which way the tide's gonna go when she does cos it mostly depends on how tired she is. When shes fresh and falls over 70% of the time shes fine. When shes tired 70% of the time she'll have a good cry. After that time she fell off the bed I've noticed she cries more often at the smallest shocks and falls.
She's definitely a very sensitive soul.
What kind of energy flows? Like feng shui flow?
The year has definitely gone too quick for my liking and yeh, already today's much different from yesterday :)
Babies never want to be on their own never mind sleep on their own, it's evolutionarily a terrible idea XD
So far everything is sounding developmentally and age appropriate (as much of a headache as that is) and you sound like you're dealing with everything right :)
Ummmm I don't know a lot about feng shui, I guess so? Just stand around the house and feel how the energy is moving around it and move stuff around til it feels right :D