Ten Years Later...
The winter he passed was a cold one. We'd had some trouble with the heat pump, but it managed to keep the house warm enough, thankfully. The area where we lived had some snow occasionally, but not a terribly large amount.
Several inches of snow had fallen in the weeks before Don's passing, however. I had to go out frequently to pick up medicine and food for him, so the snow made my outings a little less than desirable, but I managed. His pain medication was so strong that we could not get much of it at any one time. Foods often taste differently to people with cancer, so many things that he once enjoyed were no longer palatable, leading to many trips to the market to get alternative fare, often to have it rejected after just one bite. My husband had always exhibited almost child-like excitement over food, so it really tore at my heart to see his list of options in such decline.
As the cancer progressed, he wasn't able to eat much at all without it coming back up a short time later. He finally reached the point where eating was virtually impossible, and his only options were liquid. Finally, he wasn't able to keep even liquids down, either, and we knew the end was near.
Although the outings for food and medicine were made treacherous at times by the snow, frozen roads, piles of snow, wintry wind, and cold temperatures, it was lovely to see the sights as I drove to the pharmacy and market. Perhaps those little outings were part of what kept me sane through it all.
Fortunately, we had the benefit of Hospice nurses visiting every day or three to keep him as comfortable as was possible. I don't know what we would have done without them, and I have a very soft spot in my heart for Hospice nurses and what they do. (Also, Hospice cared for my mother three different times, and my father once, adding to my admiration of their profession.) And when the end finally happened, only one phone call from me to his Hospice nurse brought the necessary people to the house... 😥
And still, ten years later, I miss him terribly and think of him every day. He was Shiva to my Shakti, and our union was bliss. Forever my Love, Don... 💖
😊
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31-Jan-2020
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My heart goes out to you dear @thekittygirl, I am so sorry for your loss.
It's been over 10 years since my mom lost her battle, she had lung cancer.
The pain never really goes away, I've just learned to cope.
Sending you best wishes from Germany <3
Sending you best wishes from afar @thekittygirl, somehow we never quite feel the same after such a loss. Which, I think, is just healthy and normal... we have lost many close to us to cancer... and it just sucks.
I have been to your page numerous times (usually for the barn pics) and I had no clue about your husband! SO sorry for this!
😢😥😪
My mom just found out she has a growth in her pancreas. She is having a Whipple Feb 25. Her biopsy result came back suspicious but the sample wasn’t enough to know.... so we have to wait til surgery.
I am so sad and scared.
I am so sorry for your loss. 😪 10 years must feel terribly long and like the blink of an eye all at once.
Prayers and positive energies going to your mom and you @dfinney🙏
From where you are, February 25 can't get here fast enough. Hopefully the doctors remove the intrusive growth and she has no further issues
Thank you @ninahaskin. ❤️
You're welcome 🙏🙌🙏
My heart goes out to you as I learn today marks your husband's ten-year deathaversary 💔
May you always find solace in the memories of the love you shared and comfort when it snows. Some people die never having experienced the intimacy you and your husband shared.
Please be extra good to yourself today.
((Hugs)) @thekittygirl
Such an insidious disease. So so sorry for your lost.
Ten years and only the memories remain, life isnt fair some times. I could feel the hurt by reading the personal blog. I had the nurses here too and indeed they are fantastic. I wish you strength these days will be harder than the normal missing of him X
Even after 10 years the memories lives on 💖 my heart goes out to you my friend and he seemed like a wonderful man Who was dearly loved.
Life is so unfair at times and althogh I belive things happens for a reason, I often Wonder if its really so.
Amazing pictures and I am happy you had things that could keep your spirit up in all the hard things in your life.
You been through more than most but still you are such a beautiful person with Light spirit and inspire us in so many ways 🥰 you are loved and Never Alone. Much love to You Kitty 🤗💖🤗
Also sends love for your Don and Thank him for giving you love and joy 💖
When you find and live with a soulmate, that is something special that neither time nor distance can erase. He will forever be in your heart and mind. My condolences for the loss of your husband. Your love for and dedication to him can be felt throughout your post.
Thanks for sharing, and take care.
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So sorry hon. A loss like that does not get any easier as time ticks on. Cancer is such a terrible disease :( Sending you all my love. I am sure that Don is with you to this day, smiling down at the beautiful soul that you are.
I'm sorry for your loss and the ordeal your husband went through. Thankful for the great and compassionate hospice folks' help.
I am saddened by your story as I also lost a loved one from cancer. The pain is still there but we learn to live with it and move on. You are a strong woman.
I could feel your sadness @thekittygirl over the passing of your husband. You had a beautiful life together.
I’m glad you had help with the nurses. Your story brought back memories of my Dad who couldn’t eat the things he normally loved when he was in the final stages. The nurses who came to the house were a great help to me as he lived with me the last year.
Love the photos and the snow. It looks so cozy there.
Sending love and blessings your way. 💗
Sorry to hear your husband went through this, my brother had very similar conditions, sadly we only learned after his death he had Klatskin Tumor which took him in 3 months after first visit to doctor, then hospital in/out 2 or 3 days at a time with them still testing.
Pancreatic Cancer took a very close friend in under 6 months, she was only 55 years old.
Cancers are wicked, leave us emotionally reeling, confused at how suddenly this happens, living one day at a time is the only thing we can cling to.
Hospice in our area battle to keep the lights on with our government no longer funding or helping institutions, staff are exemplary in devotion in what they do for those ailing.
No sé que pensar. Me lleno de tristeza con la historia, pero de amor por tu dedicación.
Felicidades @thekittygirl
Sorry for your loss. I know that even 10 yeas passed, it is still not easy to be in your shoes. I can imagine it was painful to write this post. Thank you for putting your heart out!
There are so very few people in the world lucky enough to have found their soul mates like you and Don were able to. I am sure your time together was absolute bliss, and I know you like to keep that in your heart.
You are very strong to have been able to present this in such a way that you did. My deepest condolences for your loss, but I congratulate you on continuing your life (as I'm sure that's what your husband would have wanted.) At least, I know that I would want that for the love of my life and she the same from me. I appreciate her existence in my life greatly, but today I will make sure to show that appreciation the best I can. We are very lucky to have each other on this earth, and I want to thank you for reminding me of that. Souls as close as yours and your husbands don't just separate because of death. That is not what I believe. I believe that they are knit together, and that the following physical separation is only temporal. One day, when our perspectives are changed to the eternal, the time between our meetings won't seem so long.
Thank you for sharing, and I wish you the best.
This is a powerful recounting of a loved ones last few days. The world keeps turning and life for most of us does not change at all, even though a momentous event has occurred. I lost my husband nearly ten years ago too, hospice was amazing, life affirming at the end of a life. xo
I am so sorry for your loss @thekittygirl. I can't imagine losing my husband and I'm sure you feel miss hime every day. Hospice is truly a god send, we too have had their help, I don't know what we would have done without them. Sounds like Don was an amazing man! Thank you for sharing this with us xx
All strength to you my friend and know that Don is in your heart and watching over you. We pray that you can somehow accept the way of life, as all of my own family are also gone, but I am not going to tell you that I know what it feels like, as we all share our grief differently and that's why I wish you blessings and strength!
What beautiful lines for someone who even when he left the earthly plane, will live forever in your heart and your memories because he was one in soul. I came here from the post of @steemitbloggers and its wonderful community because, even though I'm not a member, I love the readings of the people who compose it, many publications of quality and very high human content as is your case. Thank you for sharing your experience, I am Venezuelan, losing a loved one who is part of yourself should not be easy. I embrace you from here and I follow you from now on. @thekittygirl
Beautiful post. Heart-warming. It is hard to deal with loss in general; some of us have not experienced certain kinds of losses, and would probably be unable to handle them.
You have crafted an inspiring homage to your husband. May he rest in peace and happiness knowing how much he was and continues being loved.
Howdy thekittygirl..I'm so sorry you had to go through that but it's also wonderful that you were able to be married to the love of your life. My experiences with Hospice nurses is also wonderful, they are truly on a Godly mission.
10 years pass, just like it was yesterday @thekittygirl 🙏
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The greatest loves bring the greatest heartaches. I'm so sorry for your loss, @thekittygirl. I know it has been 10 years, but we should be able to grow old with our spouses, not have to let them go before their time. I hope your memories keep you warm.