Falling in love – the mystery revealed, the emotion called "love" is false!

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This may be surprising for some of you but my faithful readers know that so far, 1.5 years after my first article on Steemit and hundreds of posts counted, I have not deeply discussed the issue of the concept ”falling in love”.

Now, however, the time has come to dwell on that human matter of the heart that so many people – young and old – find mysterious, eluding and lacking.


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Credit: lachicadelamiradarota


Questions

Why does “falling in love” occur at all? Is this phenomenon merely a miracle that happens to few who are lucky or is it natural and every human’s birthright? If the latter, then how come so many people leave this world without experiencing even once the emotion of “in love”? Scientific experiments and field testimonies report that even couples who are “in love” lose that feeling in time and usually within 2-3 years into the relationship it totally dissolves. Does it have to be like that? If indeed so, is a life long relationship doomed to fail no matter how much energy one would invest in it? Is it possible to love one person forever? To be in love with them all the time or at least for significantly more than those 2-3 years?

In the following paragraphs, I will suggest some revolutionary answers to some of the questions that have baffled human’s hearts and minds for eons of time. As always, expect concise, simple yet mind-boggling ideas.

In the early stages of our lives, our mind is fascinated by the beauty of living. It wants to rejoice, to enjoy experiences, to enjoy interactions with other people, the physical stimulations and the emotional peaks. And therefore, the mind creates an emotion called "love" with which it creates an attraction to other people, for us to be engaged with for the purpose of...well, there are two purposes actually:

  • Fun and Happiness. Those of you who have been in love know how enjoying the feeling of "being in love" is. The world is painted in bright colors, we feel stronger and happier. Love, therefore, is an emotion (and mind you, and emotion is not a feeling), created by the mind to make us happy.
  • Integration.

From an early age, and many times, I have been in love and have known the emotional ebb and flow of that situation. The initial moments (days/weeks/months) of the fun and happy "stuff", were followed by a new layer, purpose, of the interaction that was lingering. I was fortunate enough then to have my Master aspect present to reveal the hidden agenda. That is the integration of my soul parts.

The backstage process - aspects are assembled

The human being that we are falling in love with, reflects back to us an unknown part that we are now becoming acquainted with in order to integrate it.

The meeting with that one aspect of our soul-self reveals to us another layer – but only one - of our many personalities. Like a parent who reunites with a lost offspring, we rejoice by this opportunity to reunify (once more) with one of our lost parts. We begin then to explore this aspect – this other human. The deeper we reach into (what seems to be) their distinct essence, the more thrilled and fascinated we become. At that point we are convinced that we have found our “one”, our “twin flame”, our “other half”, and we can’t imagine the rest of our life without them. Encompassed by that promising mental cage of gold we begin our life alongside that human being/aspect.

But, lo and behold, after the first two to three years pass and go by, in which we have come to thoroughly learn that aspect, our partner, we find ourselves no longer “in love” with our former beloved. And indeed, how could we? How a parent can love only one of their children all the time? How can a person take care of only one of their body organs and neglect the rest? Once the unknown becomes familiar to us and known, the lost aspect is home again and we are ready to continue on our journey. Our soul yearns to fall in love again, to integrate another part of it.

A committed relationship, like marriage, reaches then a critical junction. The couple may choose either to end their togetherness and allow other aspects to come and be loved, or to remain with each other and explore their YOUs through peeling each other’s soul layers. If neither choice is taken the relationship suffocates and is doomed to a long and painful decay.

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The hope

Is a life long relationship alongside one and only human being cannot succeed, cannot be happy, fulfilling and appropriate? Is that what I am claiming? Not at all!


On the contrary. Such blissful life can happen in two main ways –

  • The first, as hinted above, is when both spouses, within their relationship, are aware of the crossroad they are in and together choose to reveal more aspects within themselves and each other. Since their soul-selves are endless and comprised of hundreds/thousands of aspects, it would be guaranteed that their mutual search will preoccupy them for many more years. With each discovery, they will fall in love with each other, time and again. Ultimately, they may allow their core essence to blend in, although this last scenario is not a prerequisite for anything.
  • The second and perhaps more probable method is when a person chooses to walk the path of realization by themselves, alone, and integrate through several “falling in love” experiences several archetypical aspects of themselves. The pace of such an integrating process is determined by the soul level, prior to birth. The person only needs to allow the process to happen, to get out of their mind, to not interfere. Incidentally, the integration mentioned may occur after one marries one’s aspect. Such a path is the one I have chosen for myself in this lifetime. Several frustrated, kind, gentle and beautiful women who have accompanied me along some years can testify for that.


The “secret” to a happy marriage

Once the above is understood the mystery of the loving and successful long term relationship becomes known and comprehensible.

First, marry the right person. Make sure you marry one of your aspects. How? easy. You must be in love with the person you marry. As much as the "love" emotion is faulty, it serves a purpose, to connect you with an appropriate person. So the emotion is indicative of appropriateness, that you are on the right path. Then, examine their level of consciousness. Are they aware of their spiritual journey? Are they open to the concept of aspects? Do not harsh to judge. Let them be in the relationship and watch for their conduct. They only need to keep themselves open to the idea of growth.

Once you have engaged yourself in a committed relationship choose to explore together with your spouse more of the unknown realms of your “I” essence. Note, that even after you have reached the core essence of your being (or think that you have) there are still infinite spaces waiting for your investigations. If you and your partner allow those aspects to surface you will retain the “in love” feeling forever. It will happen by itself in a spontaneous and effortless way.

To sum it up – allow the unfolding mirages of your soul-self, be in love with the earthly companion of your choice. Then, everything will follow including the genuine feeling of love of which I will discuss at a later stage.


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