How To Be a Good Steemian: 2020 Edition

in #life8 months ago

Good afternoon or whatever the fuck time it is where you are.

My name is Mr. Himself.

I'm your substitute teacher today because everyone quit their fucking jobs.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Class.jpeg

Welcome.

We shall begin.

Soon.

...

I seem to have misplaced my notes.

I swear I tucked them under my balls before I left the house today.

...
...
...

I know they're around here some place just, bear with me here.

...
...

Goddammit.

Jesus fuck I think they went right up my ass again.

I was bouncing all the way here trying to dodge all those potholes on your streets. I could feel something slithering on up there. Thought it was my lighter. It sure felt like a lighter.

You. What's your name?

Ned.

Ned? What the fuck kind of name is, Ned?

It means:

Screenshot (700).png

That's interesting.

Could you come up to the front of the class please.

Well come on now. Quit dilly-dallying. We don't have all day!

Closer. Closer. Stop!

So, Ned. Do you have a girlfriend?

Yeah, kinda.

Good.

I can trust you then. I'm going to spread my ass cheeks, and I need you to look inside.

Yes Sir!

Do you see anything?

I think I can see my future.

Everyone: Ha ha ha ha ha ha chuckle chuckle chuckle laughter!

Applause.jpeg

Silence in my classroom!

Ned! This is no time for jokes. Now, did you come here to learn or am I just wasting my life!

I came to learn, Sir.

That's what I like to hear. Okay. Let's try this again.

Do you see anything?

Open wider, Sir.

Like that?

A little bit more, please.

I can't! That's as far as I can go. Dammit! Just reach inside and start feeling around.

Okay!

Do you feel anything, Ned. Anything at all?

Yes!

Well. What are you waiting for? Pull it out!

It's stuck. I can't.

Pull, Ned! Pull!

I'm trying!

Harder, Ned!

Pull!

arrrrgh!

Harder!

ahhhh! arrgh!

Come on Ned! You can do it!

Just a little bit more!

Arrgh! Coming!

What?!?!?!?!

I said it's coming!

I got it!

It's a lighter!

A lighter?

Yes! A big black Bic lighter. See!

Huh. A black one? That's interesting. I tore my house apart looking for that, last week.

Click click. Holy shit it still works!

My notes though. Where, in the actual fuck, did my notes go!

Is there anything else up there, Ned? Anything at all?

It's as clean as a whistle, Sir!

Thanks for the help. Please take your seat.

Ladies and gentleman, I apologize. I realize you've paid top dollar for this seminar but without those notes, I don't even know why I'm here.

Wait a minute...

Oh my god they were right here on the desk the whole time!

NoNamesLeftToUse - fin.png

Credits:
All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
NoNamesLeftToUse Outro.png
All content within this blog is 100% organic ACTUAL CONTENT and contains no paid vote additives!

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? It was a comedy skit."

© 2020 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.

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That was actually hilarious, thanks for the comedy it was highly needed!

Thanks man. I needed it, too.

Can't wait for the fart 😁 II...

Well funny, matey.
We need some lightheartedness in these parts right now.

You might enjoy this...

Steem wars part 1..The Empire has a hissy fit.
https://steemit.com/hive-100421/@lucylin/nxkuvibq

Agreed.

I'll check your stuff out in a bit.

This class taught me how to be a better Steemian you fuckers.

It's about damn time!

I was laughing all the way through this, sniggering nonstop in the kitchen while making coffee and just burst out again when I sat down to finally give up on trying to say something intelligent XD

I somehow missed your comment! I'm slippin' again!

Wasn't that ridiculous though? W-T-F

You’re a nut & why not :p Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Nut was the perfect compliment today. Thanks man!

Thank you, for the tickles :)

Once again I must upvote an ass post.

Posted via neoxian.city | The City of Neoxian

Ass is my specialty.

Anytime something's missing, we always have to check with the asshole first. Some deep philosophy right here. DEEP!!!

Ah ha! I see somebody's reading between the lines.

Guilty ASS charged 🐎

Is that a future headline?

Yes, as long as it's not the BUTT of the jokes in the office.

Thank you, I've got a vivid imagination. Now how to unsee it again, that's the question.

Wonder what the teacher is going to do with that dark bic lighter.

I'd love to be able to hire some actors and produce this skit in video.

The teacher will just shove it up his again, for the next group of students. Truth is, he's not even qualified to be there.

Think my brain already showed me way too much. Wont watch it myself, but it seems there is a market for these kind of video's. Maybe you could find some actors around here, some do come to mind as being fully qualified.

Apparantly the teacher loves pupils going way deep up his back end. Some might even fit completely inside that shithole.

Unfit for the job for sure, teacher should be sacked. Find himself a job in the adult movie realm.

Is Mr. Himself actually Justin Sun?? That last post from @justinsunsteemit (since deleted) sounded remarkably like Mr Himself.

Maybe JSun used this post as inspiration?

I'm certain Sun is a huge fan of my work.

lol

Harder, Ned! Harder!

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My notes though. Where, in the actual fuck, did my notes go!

Hahaha... ¡Thanks for the cackling!...

Magic Zoom

...Ned!