Money, Drugs, Guns: The Things I Look For In A Woman

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Finding the right candidate to invest your time in can be difficult.

If you're like me, you've seen thousands of women in your lifetime; all shapes and sizes.

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Sometimes you can tell,

just by looking at them.

The way they walk, that little twinkle in their eye.  Are they nervous or calm?  Could this be, the one?

Some only stare at the body but me, I read the body as if it's speaking to me from beyond.  Long before these ladies go through my screening process, nine times out of ten, I already know what to expect.

I have x-ray vision and I can see right through them.  Nothing gets past me.

As a border patrol agent, I take my job seriously.  I'm protecting an entire country so if some random woman wants to shove money, drugs, guns or other contraband up her vagina, it's my duty to stop her and yank that shit out.

Money, Drugs, Guns: The things I look for in a woman...



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Made you look!

And that brings me to the actual point of this article.

I'll admit, I'm having trouble adjusting to this brave new world of ours.

Being away for four months gives me a unique perspective. I dove headfirst into something completely new, yet I've been here publishing my work, forever. A seasoned veteran, who is also a noob. That's me right now. I know what I'm doing but I don't know what I'm doing.

My track record here proves I am a proponent of change. For instance, in the past, when members of the community would preach the sky is falling shortly before or after something like a hardfork or acquisition, I'll come fully equipped with a relaxed state of mind, ready with the jokes or satire, willing to shed some lightheartedness on the situation.

Being organized.

That's a good thing.

When you saw the headline and read the joke above, did you know you were reading a joke before I hit you with the punchline?

I wrote and published that joke here on this platform years ago. It's designed to catch people off guard. Attempting to write humor is one thing. Finding a way to make people on the train stare at you because you couldn't control the physical laugh spawned by the words I wrote is something completely different.

I've experimented with humor since day one here. Sometimes it's a hit, sometimes it's shit.

While others were complaining about the chaos that was Steemit for a very long time, I was busy trying to find ways to use that madness to my advantage, so all I did was exactly what nobody else was doing, and that approach seemed to work, for a very long time.

Now we have organized communities so I agree, it's probably for the best and standing out won't be as difficult, but if I were to place a few new jokes within the realm of something like a 'funny' community, that sometimes crucial element of catching people off guard in order to achieve authentic laughter, is gone.

Then there's the part about how, when attempting to be comical, the humorist has a feeling what's being written has the potential of being funny, but never truly knows until the laughs roll in. It's all like one big science experiment. "What happens if I push this button..."

There's a fine line,

between confidence and arrogance.

I can be confident in my abilities but it would be arrogant of me to assume the next line that comes out of my mouth will have them all rolling on the floor like school children during a fire alarm that wasn't "just a drill."

In the world of entertainment, those jokes you hear from the comedian during their one hour long comedy special on Netflix were tested and rehearsed in front of a live audience hundreds of times before that show was ever recorded. Those skits you see on Saturday Night Live are the result of many different writers and producers putting their heads together to get it just right. Even those humorous articles in the most popular newspapers must first pass the editor's screening process. Rarely does humor ever get released to the public before any trials, rehearsals, or reactions.

So of course I will be reluctant to ever place my work within one of the many communities centered around humor, simply because I won't know if it actually belongs there until after I hit the 'post' button.

It's not the end of the world.

Only the start of a new beginning.

As I basically stated above, I've been doing things my own way since day one.

I haven't pledged any kind of allegiance with any group here. Just a drifter, bar hopping, wherever I go is where I end up, and nobody ever seems to mind that I'm there. The Tribes I use quite often, whether it be Palnet, SteemLeo, Creative Coin or Neoxian; they all welcomed me with open arms. Maybe I'm afraid of commitment though because where I stand now, I feel it's far too soon for me to decide where I'll call home, when it comes to these new Steem communities.

Of course, my life is not over.

Some of you out there know, behind the scenes and this mask of entertainment I put on, I'm all business. I run this blog like a business.

This brain of mine automatically says, "Self. You should wait until you're handed an offer you simply cannot refuse."

I've been studying this new business model carefully, looking for potential. I've been comparing what I see with what typically happens in these situations, elsewhere.

I personally believe some of the most successful communities will first hand pick or recruit the best talent they can find, rather than opening the flood gates. Much like how a newspaper would only hire the best writers they can find, or how a record label signs a music act they think people will enjoy. They'd then give the consumer a reason to look. Once the consumer is looking, that consumer then has a reason to purchase tokens, maybe in the form of SMT's, someday, because people love spending money on entertainment, and a one time fee that allows the consumer to tip forever is a far better deal than continuously throwing money away in the form of donations or subscriptions.

Yes! I know you're all sick of hearing me say that but if you can't find a way to create enough demand for your token that outpaces inflation, chances are you won't be building that moon colony everyone dreams of, any time soon.

To Conclude

I don't mind being homeless, for now.

Even though the communities aspect is creating some confusion and inner turmoil for myself, and I don't quite know what to do with hands yet, I still know how to play my cards. Even if I fail, or can't find a home, can't decide where to live, never get an offer I can't refuse; I'm a stakeholder here and I see potential. The success of everyone else means I'll be fine.

To my friends, fans, and followers: If you've noticed I haven't been myself lately, fear not. It'll come, in time.

Going from over three years where I was 99% sure this project was too big to fail to now being cautiously optimistic has been hard on the system.

But at least I know I'm not alone.

Have a nice day.

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Credits:
All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
NoNamesLeftToUse Outro.png
All content within this blog is 100% organic ACTUAL CONTENT and contains no paid vote additives!

"RIP Paul. I will forever miss your presence here."

Images © 2020 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.



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77 comments
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According to the Bible, Bro. Eli Soriano: What really happened to Joseph Smith?

Watch the Video below to know the Answer...

(Sorry for sending this comment. We are not looking for our self profit, our intentions is to preach the words of God in any means possible.)


Comment what you understand of our Youtube Video to receive our full votes. We have 30,000 #SteemPower. It's our little way to Thank you, our beloved friend.
Check our Discord Chat
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Something to kill the silence.

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This is so nice - first time I hear it and I really like it

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I think TV on the Radio (Canadian band) did it first but I like that version.

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One day at a time and we will all get there..... I just feel extra old with all this confusion haha

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It's confusing for everyone but that's how change is, at first. Soon enough what's new now becomes normal again.

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Great joke, I really wasn't expecting such a culmination!

Hey, if you don't find yourself a community, you can always create a community! Or not. Not posting into one is okay too. Or if someone cross-posts your posts, you still kind of end up in communities, ight?

I admire your flow of thought and willingness to write it all down. Is it natural talent or like all great artists always say - does it take patience and a lot of practice?

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I have plenty of jokes that are disguised as normal blog posts. That's been one of my tricks since the start.

I've been thinking about that cross posting stuff. It would probably make more sense for a consumer to place this where they think it belongs. Gives consumers an opportunity to be rewarded. This place has always had a shortage of link sharing content consumers (something I've written about before) so now they're given yet another incentive to take part in this platform. Link sharing content consumers are typically the ones who create all kinds of free advertising for a platform. That's one way content generates value. I hope I make sense.

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Good point.

Cross-posting brings out a new set of moral questions and decisions.
If one were to x-post their own post, they'd get 95% of the rewards yet it'd kind of be like sucking their own genitalia.

I get that it's great for spreading the word and getting more eyes on you, but how is it viewed from the eyes of a community? Sure, lone more egoistic wolves might not care about the pack, rather their own earnings, but with more pack member -like thinking, it's better if someone else were to x-post your posts like you expressed in your comment.

Here, this is both for the main post itself and your engagement under it:
!ENGAGE 50

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I'm not a fan of the double dipping I've seen around the platform lately and I will not be taking part in that behavior. I saw a guy write a post about a community, then minutes later cross post that post into the community he was writing about. Either commit yourself to it, or leave it alone. A clear case of someone enjoying a few pennies worth of auto votes.

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I'm guilty myself for cross-posting my own post lately (just one), but after giving myself a time-out and rethinking the whole thing, I'll retain from doing so again.

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That's how we learn. I can see the innocence behind some of the decisions people made and don't hold it against them, since we're all trying to figure this stuff out on the fly.

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(Edited)

Abundance mindset!you Can obviously write about anything, and you should not hold back For fear of what anybody thinks. Especially a “group “.
Champions aren’t thinking about the scoreboard when They make history.

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Don't worry. I'm not holding back. Holding out? Maybe. But not holding back.

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To be honest I think steem was a fading shadow of its former self these last few months. I'm willing to bet Justin got a hell of a deal from Ned in this aquisision, at least steemit is in stronger hands.

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I want to say he got a good deal as well. I also think he's another who doesn't quite see the true potential. Or maybe he does, I don't know.

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(Edited)

if I were to place a few new jokes within the realm of something like a 'funny' community, that sometimes crucial element of catching people off guard in order to achieve authentic laughter, is gone.

That makes complete sense!

Sooooo... if and when you do decide that perhaps you might like to explore less homeless, drifty options... perhaps you will consider joining us over at PHC. Yes, we are a community but we are not genre or niche specific. We are however very fussy about the quality of content our members produce. Some have called us elitist pricks. haha - we are ok with that ;)

There is a link to our discord over on the right of that landing page I shared above - in our description section, should you care to click it :)

This way... you can retain your element of surprise AND have a home in a community :)

I think you would fit in just dandy ;)

EDIT
To simplify.... https://discord.gg/anX3g3D

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People have been trying to get me on discord for years LOL! One of these days I'll show up there.

I'm familiar with you folks. I know the OCD people. I know the neoxian crowd. I'll give this a lot of time before I decide. It's really hard for me to pick teams, single people out, leave others behind. This is tough. To make it clear, I'm not saying, "No," to anyone or snubbing anyone. I simply haven't decided when to say, yes.

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Screw everyone else. PHC rules! hahahaha!!! (juuust kidding!) I am not bias at all :P

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In this post I wrote about the humor elements. I also produce a lot of art, and there are plenty of art communities. My writing is decent... I mean, I have so many options. It's really hard to choose.

LOL! Screw everyone else! Sounds like a lot of fun... but I can't.

Thanks for the offer. I might show up, I might not. Just know if I don't, it's nothing personal, and I haven't forgot about that steak conversation we once had, which was ridiculously funny.

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Stress less - I am thick skinned (we South African's are built that way by default lol.)... no offense would ever be taken.

And yes, your writing is very good - that's why I want you!
ok wait, that didn't sound right...
LOL!

This is your adventure - nobody else can pave the way :)

...as for the steak convo... that was serious stuff!

haha!

Catch you on your next post nomad! :D

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That's what I like about South Africans. Good people who don't take shit and don't really give a shit either.

See you around @jaynie.

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Well thanks drifter for joining my community, I did notice, in fact I wasn't expecting 50+ to join it in just a few days. Took me by surprise..

Who would have thought there was such interest in decay?

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I've been subscribing and browsing to show my support. I want you folks to succeed. I just don't know where to put... me.

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I just don't know where to put... me.

Ah yes.., I see the dilemma.

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I will likely never become sick of you explaining why being paid to be entertained is an absolute winner.

'Cautiously optimistic' is probably the correct stance to have at present, there is a lot of change knocking around and uncertainty is never good for business.

Cross-posting is something I'm unsure of, and I've already seen larger accounts cross-posting to their own community of 7 - they even pick up the 5% if posting to a community they've founded. Surely the best use of the feature is to advertise a newer account who's entertained you and you think your audience will appreciate. I'll likely go very sparing on this feature though.

Have a nice day too :)

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Some folks truly get it and way over on the other side of the spectrum I've been straight up told I don't say/write things in a way that deserves any attention at all. Superficial nonsense. But I'm not bitter about it and won't give up trying.

I'm sure we'll figure out this cross posting stuff eventually. I've seen a few cases where it was literally pointless like you're pointing out. It's a weird one for sure. I don't really know what the best use case is yet. I'm sure there are a few good ones.

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I've been straight up told I don't say/write things in a way that deserves any attention at all

These sound like the people you do not want at a party! I wish I could bring humour and interest with all my work.

I think If i a) didn't have a post planned (so's not to double dip autos) and b) saw an awesome post buy a newcomer (unaware of communities) very suitable to a community I enjoyed, that would be my reasoning for clicking the button.

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Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to own stake in and entertainment based attention economy like thing when they have no use for entertainment, or can't understand that approach of mine. I don't hold it against them though.

I think we should have the option to select which communities our post will show up in, before we hit the 'post' button. Then all the cross posting stuff could be used for examples like you've given, plus probably a few more good ones.

If consumers want to do all the cross posting, then I don't need to decide where to place my work. They can do it and be rewarded for it. For instance, as a content producer, I don't know about that community for horror stories. If it exists but I don't know, how would I know to place it there if I write a horror? There will be thousands of these communities. You can't expect me to select hundreds of places and cross post into each one. That would be absurd and counter productive.

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One persons entertainment is another persons shit-posting circle jerk i guess :)

At least you can start with housing your post into 1 community, and I think it will become more important to select wisely. Then you can resteem out to your own blog (which is rather strange but works) so that folks who know to pay you a visit will see your latest offerings.

Agree that in the ideal world, a consumer aware of a community that suits your content would be account cross-posting. Let's see how this all progresses.

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I remember reading you weren't the biggest fan of these, but I'm going to issue you !ENGAGE 50 anyway!

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HA! It's just frustrating when the spam makes the comment section impossible to read. I felt really bad one day after downvoting this endless stream of beer... but I had to.

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Damn, downvoting beer - I just don't think I could do it. You could always mute the accounts and collect up the tokens anyway, but yeah, for the consumer trying to find the interesting post additions, it can make things tougher.

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The way I'm using crossposting is to post old posts of mine to a few new communities I would like to start.

  • I won't vote for any of the crossposts I authored or previously voted for.
  • They are being posted by dedicated community accounts I made. Profits if any can go to community contests or developments if they ever pick up.
  • I'll limit it to once or twice a week just to keep something like an official active discussion post.
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Yeah that makes sense. If you wrote a lot of good and relevant stuff in your early days where visibility was low, that could work as a use case.

I'm also thinking though, why not revamp the post entirely, and think that's the way I'd do things.

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I do think revamping the post entirely is better. But at least it is a semi-legitimate way to post recycle for those who don't care. It's pretty easy to notice and skip over. If you autovote someone and find them doing it a lot, just stop autovoting that account.

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The fact that a revamped post looks far better makes me side more towards doing that and using the cross-post feature to advertise good stuff produced by someone else.

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why not revamp the post entirely, and think that's the way I'd do things.

That's basically what #showcase-sunday is. Breathing new life into old work, somehow. We all had that slow start.

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Ah yes, I should have tied these together myself. Another coffee could be due :)

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Indeed humor is a powerful tool that only few know its mysteries. You seen to have good control over the power tool. Enjoyed.

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I think you don't need to find a community. Your posts don't fit into any of the communities I've started. But maybe I will start a nonameslefttouse fan club.

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For now I'll continue on my usual path. Being everywhere, all at once.

I'm sure that fan club would be a huge... flop. LOL!

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Yeah maybe you aren't the best person to lead a cult following. However, there are some people here (and definitely a few who left) who may appreciate it.

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Maybe the next time I go on vacation, someone will start something up.

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(Edited)

It is much the same as me. I like to write funny things but I don't necessarily tag them as funny because it's like stating something in advance. I like people to find the things I write funny not say, hey, this is funny!

I think communities are indeed the way forward but a part of me wonders where to put myself or whether I should put myself anywhere.

It seems a little divisive at the moment. I don't want to pigeonhole myself.

Gaaaaaaargh. That's the trouble with being a maverick!

Edit, and what the fuck is this cross posting shit? It's it really just reposting old stuff into a community and getting votes again for it? Surely not, that will be abused to fuck??

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I've used the 'funny' tag to basically say, "Do not take this seriously." I'm not saying it's funny. It's there so if someone comes along to misinterpret a joke and get all angry, I can show them their mistake, and then hopefully they calm down.

It is divisive, especially now since the entire community is small. Shooting for an even smaller community is probably not good for business at this point.

I had a feeling, of all the people here, you, would totally understand where I'm coming from here. I've been thinking about how you do things as well. We're in the same... canoe. Paddling upstream for fuck sakes...

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Haha, yeah. When I was reading your post I was thinking this is exactly how I am feeling about everything.

I like tags. You can have a few of them. It would be crass to pay in multiple communities though. Yeek

I fucking hate paddling upstream.

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I see your edit now about cross posting. I've been leaving a few thoughts on that here and around the platform. It's a new toy people will have to figure out and it could be good so I hope those using it now don't ruin for everyone by being irresponsible with it. I don't really have much of a use for it, at this point, and don't really want to annoy my followers with simple one sentence and a link posts. It might turn into resteems. Too much of that, and I'm hitting the off switch. It would be nice if we had a section within our profiles where we can keep a stream of our favorite posts, and others could peek inside. I've suggested that for years though.

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Yeah, am ability to customise your own blog profile with favourites and/or even a randomised selection of a group you have marked as favourite. So much opportunity to market ourselves!

Well, if it existed. Lol

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It would be great if those doing the work behind the scenes would come to people like us, and ask us what we need. I'm not complaining though. I like to see progress. I'm willing to help as well though. I'm not an idiot.

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Yeah, I would love to help, both in general User Experience ideas and the testing of things when they are done. The testing however seems to require the knowledge of a developer which, given my background in testing is all wrong.

But hey ho, I dont like to complain too much, I am a little annoyed at the lack of Feed on mobile though. Wish they would fix it.

You never know, change might come more quickly now as a result of all the shenanigans lately!

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Maybe you're right. Maybe we'll see rapid changes. If we don't, people are going to be pissed, since nearly everyone holding on to hope, is expecting that new money to actually do something.

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They have been overextending the goodwill. I am more than willing to give them/him a chance unlike some of the trimmings I have seen. We will see we will see!

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The benefit of the doubt, or whatever. Certainly won't see me out there treating them, steemit staff, etc, like punching bags. I don't have that mindset where I think the whole world is out to get me. No paranoid thoughts. Simply doesn't make sense to me to think they'd all want to intentionally run the place into the ground, all while saying there's potential here publicly.

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Yeah, I kinda hate that mentality. They are going to destroy the place! Destroy it I tells you.

When the likelihood is that things have a better chance of getting done.

Judging on actions, not on what ifs!

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Speaking of actions. Did you see what they did there?

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I did, I don't approve much

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I'll need to see some results. This can all be spun a million different ways. Good and bad. I see Justin responded. March 6th they'll talk. In between now and then that's all people will do is talk. Those words will paint a picture. That's too much time. Between now and the 6th I expect to see pointless debates and more division. Then it'll be the big day. Words will be said. Fucking words. Then we'll get the official 'it's all good' posts, but people will argue about what was agreed upon, creating more of a divide. All that, and no results. Nothing concrete.

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That is one of the things I can't stand the most. The It's all good posts but actually behind the scenes the negative bile is all still being spouted.

We will see how it all plays out but I see the official response (Hey man we are protecting the chain) from a lot of the instigators of this at quite extreme odds with the commentary they have been laying about elsewhere. Are they protecting the chain from a potential threat or do they see the goose of the top 20 witness position being potentially lost as new witnesses come on the scene?

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Self preservation is only natural. One could say it's fact they did protect the chain from a potential threat. That word potential though... Like I said, one can spin it however they want and come to a range of conclusions. They've done a fine job of getting their story straight. It's nearly the same message everywhere, and all at once. I want to believe this is all based on good intentions. With so many minds at work putting this together, if there is something fishy going on, I can guarantee someone will slip. Playing the waiting game here will drive me insane. I want to know where this place is headed and I want to know now. Terrible time to focus on my own thing here. Jokes and art. Are people even in the mood? Probably not.

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I sometimes think that the few that are left here aren't interested in that anymore, it's such a small community that the focus is on relentlessly navel gazing. Shouldn't mean we still can't chunter away though :0D

The message is far too uniform, too coordinated for my liking too. Then I have a peek about several discords and I see glee, malicious sniggering and contempt for Tron and Justin Sun

I can only hope that the slips soon start to show on chain... Instead of discord

20200224_083107.jpg

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I'm sure that's just sarcasm. I've seen a few memes already that don't match up with the narrative. There's a line in one my previous posts basically saying don't fuck with us because a dragon named Ah Forkyou will come and poke you where the Sun don't shine. I had no idea they'd actually do it. Accidental psychic, once again.

I've been invited to discord countless times. I haven't even gone to lurk in the shadows. I watch everything that goes on here though.... evil laugh

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WE have the very much the same feelings as you toward communities.... bar hopping we go!!

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Boing boing. Tigger was kind of annoying though, so I don't think I want to turn into that. I don't know what I'm talking about but you get it.

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'I've been doing things my own way since day one.'

The moment you'll change that, will probably the same moment I will unfollow you.

As usual, a great piece of writing, and as always also a refreshing way to look at things.
Like you have said more than once; people want to (and should) be entertained in a way that they become consumers. Consumers with a reason to look, come back again and stay.

(don't know who is Paul you mention at the end, but sorry for the loss)

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I'm not sure what I'd change anyway. I'll I've been doing is going with the flow, day to day. No real plans. Looking back at some of the things I've done here brings back a lot of good memories. It's almost like this blog was a community before we had communities. Always buzzing with life.

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As I basically stated above, I've been doing things my own way since day one.

OMG this is why I follow you. AMAZING headline and I didn't know you were joking until the punchline but I LMAO when I got there. Thank you.

❤️❤️❤️

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LOL

That's one my favorite jokes I ever wrote. You'd not believe how seriously I take writing humor. To get an actual 'LMAO' out of people is no easy feat.

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It's a serious biz, I don't blame you. And well you got some loud laughs from me 😉 that was one of the greatest titles ever. ❤️

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