New Nylons For My Lady

in #life24 days ago

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Darling, I have something for you?

I husked alluringly as if I had eaten a box of matches.

Beyond the light of the door, my lady lay reclined against the sofa, the soft sunshine silhouetting her curves.

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I moved to her and took her in my arms. Perhaps it was my masculinity but it seemed as if she weighed next to nothing when I cradled her close.

I've bought you something nice to put on. Something black, you like?

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It seemed as though she quivered but still she made no sound.

First, let me get those dirty things off of you.

I was firm and set to the job of removing her old things. It was a challenge for it almost seemed as though they had been tied on.

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My nimble fingers made short work of them though and soon she was naked below me.

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Oh my, you are a dirty one arent you? You can't be fingered with all that filth on you.

As any caring man would before giving his lady a good seeing to, I gave her a sound cleaning and a polish until she shone.

Now it was time to get her new nylons on. Black and Silver, she would look stunning in them.

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No stranger to knots I slipped them on with ease.

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There now we can play together my beauty.

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But what should I play? What could I play for my sweet lady to know I was ready for her... Ah yes, I know!

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I just wanted to say, I read all that before the pictures loaded, hello 🔥😁

So glad you trotted out some new nylons and gave your lady a spin for us to enjoy, loved it!

Also, is that a Spark amp? I just ordered one of those last week and am currently ensconced in a state of pure, I want to sit on my front porch and shred waiting for the damn thing to ship agony....

Yikes, without the pictures that might have been a trying time!

It is a spark!! It's blooming awesome. I have never played so much since I was in a band. The backing tracks are awesome and great to jam to and the tones are great too!! I have a good tone in the cloud! Dawg metal I think it is called. The only thing is if you like shredding you have to turn the noise gate down a tad as it is set high for tight chugging.

You will totally love it. I am certain. Awesome beast for practicing asked it looks good too! Let me know when it arrives!

Holy tones, you sound like you adore the thing, which makes me so joyous! My old trusty amp went belly up in an adolescent wrestling accident last year, and my guitarist pal told me I should acquire a Spark to fulfill my dreams of sitting on the deck and annoying the local wildlife with excessive riffage. Now I’m completely dying for it to get here!

I’ll totally let you know, it ships the 4th I think. And you know I’m so going to hunt down the Dawg Metal tone😁

Hehe. I do love it. It is the best amp I have ever had. When I say that I mean in an all round way. It has its haters because it's not a real valve amp blah blah blah and that is true but it sounds great has thousands of tones you can select so no need for a board or different pedals. Admittedly, quite a lot of the tones are shite or variations on a theme but there are good ones also :0)

And the backing tracks, bloomin amazing. I have never been happier with something that I just switch on and go!

Them adolescent wrestlers might have done you a huge favour!

Oh gatekeepers, I wish they would just shut their pie holes. For those of us who just want to play and not spend thousands of dollars on millions of pedals and such, I think the Spark accomplishes greatness! Seriously, you have amped my excitement to the fricken moon! I can't wait to wait through the shite and find the tones of my dreams:)

I know, there are always some who try to tell you that the thing that is amazing isn't amazing!!

I hope it comes soon for ya!

Now that is the most poetic way to describe how to put new nylons on ones lady. And how to release her musing passionate Spanish sound she'll make when getting fingered in the right way!

And Arrr, you've got the Skeleton! 😎

Hehe, I wondered if someone would spot that. I actually meant to post about it. The good lady bought me it after she saw my disappointment at the dud piece of nonsense that she bought me. It's ridiculously sharp!!

Oh man, it has such an amazing attractive 'got-to-have' look to it! (Now, I know what I should have asked for my birthday.) Seen other brands try and copy the design, but they just do not have 'it'.

You sir are very much well understood by your misses. In this case, that is a true blessing!

Can it cut wood? Could one use in the kitchen io cut meat? One tool, that does it all.

I'd say it is worth a review, make it so!

Hehe, it is actually quite sparse compared to other folks but all I wanted was a blade, pliers and a screwdriver! Boom, it does all that.

I might have a go at the tree out the back. A true test of it's mettle 🤣🤣

I should review it though! Yes indeed!

Hahaha, all those things that are going to be put to the test. Almost feeling sorry for some objects that will be subjected to several stress tests. 😂

"Now, could you explain to me, again, why the bloody heck, you thought cutting one of our finest trees in our garden was logical...!?"

These kind of questions I had in the past and at the time of acting-before-thinking it always made sense. But then, with these type of questions after, the fun got drained straight out off it.

Just like: "Why do you men, never, ever, read the manual first and act as if you could have invented the darn thing yourselves! No wonder us women have a longer lifespan on average! Now hand me the manual!"

Ha, of course that is all fiction, as if this happens in real life. Tsssk, only the thought... 😁

I did get in trouble once when I walked to try out my new axe and had a go at a big giant bush. It didn't last long!!

I have been too scared to use the blade for much as it is so sharp I worry that it will never be that sharp ever again. How sad is that!

So most likely the garden is safe... For now!

😄

Aaaaa lovely! You're good! This was so cool to watch, you could definetely do some more. What is your favourite guitar player of all times and how long did it took you do learn how to play?

I like to think I am still learning! Although I have been playing for some thirty years now. I used to be in a cool band. But that was many moons ago. My favourite player is Glenn Tipton closely followed by Richie Faulkner. There might be a theme there... :OD

Oh you rockstar! hihi. I wonder how you looked like then , being in the cool band and stuff. I will search these players and give them a listen, I like guitar.

Hehe, it was a fabulous time indeed. I still smile when I think of the crazy times we had :OD

Even funkin donuts can't take that smile at the beginning when you started to play.

Its one of my favourite tunes! :OD

I think I saw the sweet lady shudder when you tweaked her G-String.

Sounding good!! You know how to make the sweet lady sing.

It was said once by the ancients that I would come and they are right. Let the music begin!!!! :0D

I love playing with nylons coz I can play all day and never get a blister from fingering it ;)

A long player!!! :0D

Beautiful lady! The title made me look closer and read this!

I like how you write and how you play that Lucille of yours!

Thank you. She is indeed a beautiful lady and I am proud to call her mine!! :0D

:) she looks polished and I know it can be a good companion. Thank you for offering this article to us! It's really a gift.

Maybe I should get you to come and do mine, I'm kind of terrified of the E string XD

That sounded pretty nice :) and I couldn't help giggling at the facial expressions XP

Its the first time I have changed nylon strings, getting the knot bits at the bottom terrified me but in the end it was remarkably easy.

I always like to pull a funny face but a large part of those were the noises my kids were making despite me asking them to be quiet for just one minute! :OD

Adult moment, child moment and non-neurotypical moments vary massively in length XD

Yes, they're moments are definitely on the shorter scale, lol!!

Sweet Jesus! You could make a church lady look like a prostitute!!

It wouldn't be much of a stretch now... :OD

Cough Blasphemy! Really?? I will never look at them the same way again! 🤓

I always look at them that way! :OD

Oh, my! Did anyone ever tell you that you are incorrigible? I know! I am not the first.

You are most certainly not the first. I also hope not the last :O)

I think that if you started being too straight-laced, we would be calling the authorities to see who kidnapped our Boom. I can only say prayers for your poor mother when you were a wee lad, growing up and so full of P&V.

Pure filth.

It was, disgusting. I actually got an unfollow just two seconds ago! Lol

They were probably from the Footloose town

I suspect so. And a mute rolled in from another. This is awesome. I should change my strings more often!

You are MORE than ready for your lady! 😄😄

I have done her proud as they say in the shipyards of Glasgow!

I bet you did! Any girl would be lucky to have such a gentle soul like yourself beside her 💖

Lol. That might be one way of putting it!! 😃😃

hey, never be humbleee! 😄😄👄

That is one thing I can never be guilty of!!

You could make peeling carrots sound dirty. I do have some dirty ladies hanging around here. They need a darn good buffing and plucking.

Rock on!

I pride myself on making anything seem dirty!!

Get them ladies seen to!

And always rocking!! :0D

Where's the Scottish vocals?

Scotsmen don't sing and that is a fact!! Go on, check the records, there has never been a singing Scotsman!

Aghh.. course there is, your need to abstain from the barber and visit the tattoo shop if you want to succeed!

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He is definitely not Scottish. Have you heard him speak!! ;0)

Our band played with them back in the day!

'Born in Irvine, North Ayrshire, Scotland' - 'course he is.. you must be confusing him with Barry White.., a little !BEER will give you more clarity..

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Ayrshire... Ugh. They have a cheek to call themselves Scots! ;0)

Is !WINE truly done in then?

I have given up on !WINE and have unstaked. That's means whether it works or not, it wont work for me anymore.

The end of an era!! Might do the same


Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of BEER from @slobberchops for you. Enjoy it!

Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your BEER.

Now I understood the relationship between my hubby and his guitar :P

Hehe, I have unwittingly released the secret!! ;0)

I see you so much cherish her that you wanna clean her up and give her a new look.
What a love!

I have to admit, there is a bad part of me that threatens to throw her in the garbage if she doesn't please me at times.. 🤣🤣

Haha, sure! It shouldn't be a one way traffic. She, on the other side should contribute her own quota.

I agree, anything otherwise is cheek!!

Exactly!

This was the first romance novel I ever read. What the fuck do people see in these things..

I have never understood the draw of the romance novel! Perhaps we are unromantic souls?

You're right. My heart is cold and made of stone. But they do make pills for this dysfunction and they really do help get the blood flowing again...

My heart is made of coal but hey, I'll take pills!!

Lmfao. Way to finger her properly

She needed it bad!! :0D

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Nice post allof them great work.

Why thank you!

Only I liked thats all and maybe pictures are interesting . When i look my feed I want to read ☺ my english so bad I hope u understand

I understand perfectly. Thank you. I do like to make an effort with the pictures!

Your earnings are great .conguralations. maybe one day u can write a post about you secret success. I will read promise 🙏

There is no secret it is just hard work over a period of time. :0)

Do I spy a multitool in the background there? Have you made peace with the knockoff, or did you finally acquire a genuine Leatherman?

She made peace with me, she got me the one I wanted after all. It was all a trap!!! I am quite happy with it!