Bananas Bananas

in #life2 months ago

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Daddy-Bear, arent you coming to bed, it's quite late?

The Good Lady asked, fluttering her eyelashes as if in a gritty desert wind.

Yeah, two seconds, baby-cakes. I am just setting something up and then I will be straight up.

I tapped away furiously on my laptop whilst I spoke as if it were a pork piano and I were a frisky feeling Elton John.

What are you up to anyway?

The Good Lady sidled over and looked at the laptop screen.

Oh this? I am sending some Binance dollars to my Metamask wallet and from there I am going to go to Ape Swap and buy some banana tokens so that I can go to Swamp Finance and stake them for Swamp tokens.

I looked up and grinned before tapping refresh on my browser and peering closely at the screen as if there were tiny naked ladies dancing on it.

You are sending what to what for bananas in a swamp? What the hell are you talking about??

The Good Lady folded her arms across her chest as if she were back at Uni and trying to hide her dirty pillows.

It's the DeFi stuff... Remember, I am sure I told you about it?

I frowned, sometimes I told so many lies about my crypto antics that I forgot which ones she was currently believing.

You did. You told me about puppies or cubs or something and it sounded fucking weird but now what, bananas? Apes? Swamps?

She leaned forward and jabbed at my screen on which the ApeSwap site was displayed in a sea of blurry brown.

I mean is that a real website? It looks fake as anything.

She made a trumpeting noise like an elephant with embarrassingly small pink nipples.

I looked at the ApeSwap site. She had a point. It looked like it had been coded by a four-year-old.

It is real. Honest. Anyway, I am only using that site to buy banana tokens...

I shrugged my shoulders and made a pfft noise. Didn't she know that this is how we roll in the 21st century?

As long as you are sure it is really real? I mean, have you any idea how absolutely insane it sounds to a real person? I mean, are you sure it is really real, not some scam?

She pursed her lips as if finally realising that there was no such thing as a vegan beef olive and that I had been duping her for all these years.

Listen you, go up to bed. I will be there in two minutes. And don't worry, it is real and not a scam.

I patted her on the bahookie and gave her a gentle push.

As she left I shook my head and snorted.

Big daftie, of course, it was all real...

Wasn't it?

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Listen you, go up to bed. I will be there in two minutes. And don't worry, it is real and not a scam.

As if i was listening to myself talking to my wife. Anyway, while I'm reading your post, I'm transferring my steem/banana tokens to my Hive account. I'm not finished yet though. Few more steps to do. Steem tokens to swapsteem tokens>swapsteem tokens to swaphive tokens>swaphive tokens to hive wallet finally. All of this has to be done undercover literally, since my wife believes anything to do with cryptocurency is not real, I mean scam. If my situation wasn't complicated enough, my wife feels like dancing with me right at this moment while I'm so busy. That's why I relate to your post.

Few years back when BTC was on a 3k price tag I asked my wife to sell all of her gold possessions to buy BTC. She yelled at me and ask me to f*ck off. Now I realise if I could convinced her tolerating all the yelling, I would have been a millionaire by now.

It's a predicament and a half, that's for sure. If your wife feels like dancing them I would stop all that is crypto and dance!!! Life is too short to pass that up :0)

How is it that meesterboom didn't play the euphemism card regarding "bananas in a swamp".

Is it possible that DeFi is drawing your brain out of the gutter and into ... hrmmmm how does one describe DeFi .....

I was tempted with the euphemismery!! I really was but at the same time I thought I would give her a taste of what I have been up to and penis talk might have moved the subject away a tad! :O)

Pfft women never get it. Money never sleeps! :D

Hehe, yes indeed. It's like a sleepless wild point that has to be ridden all night!!

Tokens are real? I just found a !BEER Token I hope it's real, I'm gonna buy a round.

They are nearly real!!! :0D

So glad to know there are others like me that have no freekin clue about all these things

There are very very many!!!

It's a house of cards!

I know I'm in trouble when my kids start laughing at my trades.

Le sigh.

It is all real, right?

Don't worry. I am thoroughly convinced it is not real. It's the safest way!

Brilliant! You are safe either way! Totally foolproof!

Gold star!

Hahaha! Swamp bananas? I prefer banana with peanutbutter.

DeFi is pretty crazy indeed but I have managed to stick to CUB so far.

It was CUB that whet my whistle! Without it I would probably have never ventured into any further DeFi madness! The rates are insane!

I see it excited you so much that you had to comment thrice ;<)

My laptop hasn‘t wanted to charge in a day or 4 so I couldn’t access my Metamask to farm CUB. A friend will come over now to to try and fix it so fingers crossed that I can soon enter the Binance Smart Chain / DeFi madness again.

Have a good one and eat a banana for me. I had one for breakfast ( with coffee, not swamp water )

Aaargh, I have been having a right old time with comments lately.

I hope you get back in and claiming alright. Just think though, how much BnB fees you have saved :0)

It was CUB that whet my whistle! Without it I would probably have never ventured into any further DeFi madness! The rates are insane!

It was CUB that whet my whistle! Without it I would probably have never ventured into any further DeFi madness! The rates are insane!

Sit down next to some random who's taking up half a bench in the park, then begin telling them about this stuff. You'll be talking to yourself within two minutes, as they scramble away looking for help.

I think the far worse scenario is that they get all animated and start taking excitedly because they know exactly what you are taking about.

That way madness lies! :0D

If there's a lesson to be learned here, it think it's how bananas always end up being weird in public.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Bananas.png
And now the secret coded hidden message meaning of this amazing work of art has finally been revealed.

Finally!!!! I knew there was something behind it. Everywhere I saw bananas I always felt a little, you know... bananas?

And now I know why.

I think

'You think.' This is a good step in the right direction. Especially when one seeks, Truth.

The truth is out there, eh?

Like out there, out there.

Oh yes, I heard it on the grapevine!

The, Truth, comes from within.

That sounds too naughty for my liking. What if it isn't my truth?

From now on I won't waste my previous crypto dollars on shit coins... Unless... Oh look, a squirrel!

It's a crypto squirrel!! Maybe it's DeFi? Quick chase it!!!

Crypto is beyond parody sometimes. 90% of it is fake, but it's not clear which 90%.

I'm waiting for moolah I can convert to kablooie.

It really is, the new defo tokens have the most comical names, as if they are aware of the ridiculous of it.

I am waiting for the same, being on the moolah to kablooie days!!

!BEER


Hey @steevc, here is a little bit of BEER from @meesterboom for you. Enjoy it!

Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your BEER.

So that's where that get that pɹoodʎ sound from. Makes sense.

It is, the depths of the bowels vowels they say!

Hahah I imagined the song Who let the dogs out going perfectly with all of the zoologic crypto activity of yours. Banana, monkeys, cubs and everything lol. I get the Good Lady, for a beginner this would sound crazy haha.

Sorry, you don't have enough staked BEER in your account. You need 24 BEER in your virtual fridge to give some of your BEER to others. To view or trade BEER go to hive-engine.com

Oh this? I am sending some Binance dollars to my Metamask wallet and from there I am going to go to Ape Swap and buy some banana tokens so that I can go to Swamp Finance and stake them for Swamp tokens.

With the danger of attackting downvotes, I am going to re-blogg this! This is best reference post, that I like to point to people for our de-fi adventure!

Haha, fire away! I shall count it as an honour!! :0D

It's as real as my upvote!

Can I eat it!!!!

Yes, yes I can!!! :0D