Sad, the Downer that Chases Happy

in #lifelast year

She was hiding in the shower. It was the only place they wouldn’t find her. She was crouched in a ball like a baby in a womb. Her hands were clasped together before her as though in prayer, but she wasn’t praying. Maybe it was an instinctive position to take. It is something about the way the fingers line up together, like each has a match.

Is it a yin and yang thing? Like a reminder that there is balance in life—sad is the downer that chases happy. No, that isn’t it. It is because when two palms are pressed together it almost feels like another human is there, one that is a comfort. The push of each hand against the other is a good reminder of self-sufficiency. If you want a job done right, you do it yourself.

For an instant she almost wanted to talk to the walls, but what was the point? She could expect nothing from the walls, and that knowledge was at least satisfying. The same can’t be said of talking to human walls.

Tears that come fast feel good when they roll down the cheeks. They are a physical manifestation of internal pain. Having only one slow moving tear that meanders down the face does not quite meet the threshold for legitimate pain. They need to be fast and hard and thunder like rain onto the cold tiles beneath. Their warmth dies off quickly when mixing in with the coldness of that tile, and of that house.

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Suddenly she held her breath, but her lungs reverberated in her chest, not having gotten the memo quickly enough. The sound of a jolly toddler had entered the room. She stopped somewhere nearby, tinkering with something. She made cheerful, adorable little sounds that must have been something similar to that of a small and very cute furry animal.

There is something painful in hearing the sounds of something beautiful, happy, and well loved. For a moment it felt a bit to her like looking at a former life. A life that was out of grasp; happiness lost. But it was a stupid thought, because happiness is a choice.

It was a good reminder of reality. It was one of those suck-it-up moments. Life goes on, pattering away on little feet. Mistakes are made in the past, but haunt the present. But that is what the tears are for, she thought. They bring clarity, and usher in change.

The hands were held before her, still poised, but made uneven by a diamond sticking out on one side. The hands were symbols of self-reliance, but also of action.

But she let them fall away, as the rest of her recomposed. Her cheeks were pink in the bathroom mirror, but they would fade, until the next time. Self-reliance and action were just whispers then, fading as she walked away from them.

Life goes on.

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Not a fun place to be.
Amazing where the focus goes.
Such strength for those who don't need to know about that place.
But your story does have a happy end - not the end.

Yes, not fun, but at least the release is always a relief. That happy ending is happy, she's just got to keep remembering that.

Excellent approach

Thanks.

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Beautiful writing as usual. I always wonder when it is third person whether you are really talking about you or not xx my husband was asked by his students as they were leaving school what was some advice that he could give them. He couldn't think of anything at the time but we were brainstorming ready for the next class and one of the things that came up was that if you are sad karma it does not mean you will always be sad period and if you are happy it does not mean you will always be happy. Seems like a Buddhist thing but it is a life thing. Nothing stays the same.

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Yep, that is an annoying fact of life young people with limited experience don't realize. It is constant ups and downs. Eventually it stops make sense to fear the downs, just go on for the ride.

I'm a one tear meander kind of guy :0D

That pain starts to rise in your throat but you tell it what for so that it is so terrified it explodes into a sneeze, irritating your eyes with that one tiny meandering tear. You wipe it away like allergies I'm sure. Must be good to be so tough :)

I love a good sob fest. It makes the chest hurt and the eyes all puffy but it's so cathartic. Like an emotional reset button.

It is a really good thing. Unless you are wearing mascara, and then it is more of an artistic thing.

I should buy mascara just so I can cry while wearing it!

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Totally worth it. Don't forget the coconut oil to wash it all off afterward.

A good private cry fest.

It sounds so sad, but it helps so much.

It feels so sad too, but it really does help so much.

Howdy ginnyannette! I don't really understand this one to be honest but I still love the way it's written!

Oh good, I like to be mysterious ;)

lol..you got that mastered, sorry I'm so dense!

Glad to hear I have mastered something. Thanks for reading.

lol! Don't be so humble ginnyannette, you've mastered SO many things. Unfortunately those skills won't be needed in a few years but hey, you can still feel good about them. lol. That sounds like a good post idea actually. For you not me!

Those dealing with child skills are endlessly valuable. There are just so many adults that act like children.

Ain't THAT the truth! Too bad you can't treat them like children and use your child skills on them.

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