I could not eat anymore because my mother gave me two hard boiled eggs instead of one, I felt full after I was able to down these food groups, protein and carbohydrates. These are duck eggs and two slices of raisin bread. It is hard to eat the raisin bread without soaking it first into a liquid of some sort so I just tried to eat it anyway so that I could at least put some nutrients into my already emaciated body.
The duck eggs btw I just happen to force myself in eating and thank goodness they are tastier than that of regular eggs. So now I am just satiated until my dialysis maybe, I could not eat anymore now nor the though of food just makes me quiver.
I can't imagine how some people could eat lots of foods like those that are doing the Mukbang videos where they actually can down tons of food in one sitting while I myself is just struggling to eat a piece of drumstick of fried chicken. Well of course the answer to that was my long-standing problem about my appetiteloss so it would be just a miracle if I would be able to pass in eating two pieces of fried chicken in one sitting.
If only I could forgo in eating I would do it as long as I would not feel weaker or deprived but I still needed to drink fluids because I get thirsty nonetheless. Eating is just a big issue for me, I can only eat better in my dialysis sessions and beyond that is just pure struggle which is why if you have a fine appetite you are indeed so blessed and a few people can realize that.
I just wished that my appetite issue would resolve soon because it is ridiculous to live like this where my every meal is just a struggle to accomplish in finishing it that is why my weight is just also ridiculously so low that I look so undesirable that people look down on me short of getting disgusted at a sight of me so it is a problem for me that makes me feel like I wanted to disappear already from this world.
Everyday I am trying to eat at least some form of protein and carbohydrates just to support my health so that I won't get sicker than I am now. I would like to get maybe three times of dialysis sessions weekly but it will really just cost me additional money even though if my health insurance would cover it. The problem lies with my hospital charging the patients extra bill while the insurance it self already covers all the cost so it is the reason that I just am not liking my dialysis center, they are like large corporations that commands high price for their products and services while I myself is not getting the best treatment that I wanted.